Day Eleven

Don’t worry, kids. This post is going to be shorter than the others because I didn’t really do anything today except go to church at ORUUC on zoom and laundry. There is plenty going on back home with my mother being admitted to the hospital for kidney failure due to dehydration. At this writing she is sounding much better and the doctors are cautiously optimistic about her recovery.

Church is one of my favorite activities on Sunday. The people who attend the church I do have given me such a gift of their support, kindness, and love that I have integrated into the mesh of the congregation. It’s THIS church that I belong to. It’s THIS church I support as I’m able. It works for me. It doesn’t have to for anybody else, but I’m glad it works so well for so many stellar people.

Okay, laundry. It’s my custom to do my laundry on Sunday afternoon while spending time at my Beastie Diane’s house. We talk, watch crime dramas, share worries and concerns, and generally enjoy one another’s company. With me being so far away, that’s not possible right now. She IS taking care of my little dog Phoenix while I’m here. Diane’s top hat all across the board.

My beautiful Phoenix (Phoe)

First I had to find the place which wasn’t too difficult. I’m getting used to navigating this city now. I’m not an expert, but I’m learning new things every day. I found the Laverie automatique (Laundromat) on this corner with a hopping cafe across the way.

I’ve used laundromats before. You put in the coins, push the slider in, and your laundry begins. Not so in this place.

First you put your clothes in the desired machine along with soap (which I nearly forgot). Then you go to a console on the wall that gives directions in French how to use the machines. You punch in the number of the machine you want to use then hit the V button for enter. Then you deposit 4E50 ($4.50) into the slot, or you can use coins, or you can pay by credit/debit card. That feature was an unexpectedly pleasant surprise. Once done, you go push start on your machine and it works.

The place was small but clean. Everyone in there was courteous to one another. The guys using the dryer 11 put a comforter in it which blew up and filled the drum with fluffy bits of polyfiber. When they went to take it out and realized what happened, I learned some new cuss words in French!

I helped a young man figure out how to use the machines after I had to be shown. He spoke broken English but was grateful when his dryer started to run since he admitted it was his first time here. I nodded sympathetically, “Me, too.” He thanked me and wandered out into the street.

Learning how to adult the French way has been quite the painful learning curve for me. But, with every challenge, I’ve eventually figured it out. I suppose that’s what adulting really is, keep trying things until it works or breaks. I am truly enjoying the experience of being somewhere with “new air” as my friend Melissa Kay likes to say.

Despite the issues happening at home in the States, I’m grateful for this life. I’m grateful for this opportunity. I’m so glad I was asked to come work here with my client.

Day Ten

Today started off as a humdinger when I walked out of the bathroom and the lens of my glasses clacked to the floor. I wear bifocals, so trying to find that itty-bitty screw on the wooden floor was not something I could accomplish easily. I wasn’t upset, frustrated, but not upset.

Lucky for me, a short walk from the apartment I’d noticed an optician’s shop. I discovered the gentleman who worked there spoke English and was able to get my glasses repaired, gratuit (Free of charge)!

How lucky am I to be paying attention to the world I’m experiencing right now?

This is the place where I find myself commonly indulging in a double espresso each morning. The people are friendly and I haven’t tasted anything that wasn’t total top hat.

I decided I’d had enough of the stringy ends of my hair. I visited a salon called L’instant Chic Coiffure Feminin-Masculin. The Artist that agreed to my transformation was named Aurelie. She was a bit younger than me and had been doing hair for 30 years!

BEFORE
DURING
Also DURING
Nectar of the Gods!
The artist and her medium.

Aurelie is the talented artist that brought my crowning glory back to life. While in the shampoo chair, I got a massage which was incredibly relaxing. 100% recommend!

AFTER!

One of my besties told me that to go back to the apartment would be a waste of a million bucks (Since that’s what I told her I felt like), and my reply was, as it always is when she’s right, “Stop talking sense!”

Although it looked like it was going to rain, I braved the cool air to go to the Abbey de Homme. I’ve posted pictures of the exterior a few times, but I’m about to give you a video tour of William the Conqueror’s final resting place. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a church this large and ornate in person. I hope you enjoy the bits I can share with you.

Every day at noon, this is what I’ve been hearing. It rings every hour until 10PM.
I tried to give you the feeling of the vastness of this space. I don’t think I could possibly do it justice. It was extremely reverent to the point where I didn’t feel like I should speak at all. In fact, nobody that I observed seemed to be speaking either. There were stations where you could purchase prayer candles to make requests of the saints honored within the walls. I got one of St. Joan of Arc.
Saint Nicholas
Saint Therese
Saint Joan of Arc
Jesus of the Sacred Heart
His mom, Mary
And Pops, Joseph

The tomb of William the Conqueror

September 9, 1087, age 59

(Natural Causes)

He was born in 1028.

As originally posted in French.
The translation to English

Oh Mary,

Queen of Peace

May through your intercession

bring the reconciliation between

peoples

The directional sign.

Day Eight, Caen Botanical Gardens

I woke up late because yesterday I drank too much caffeine and so I was still wide awake this morning at 5AM! That’s only 11PM in East Tennessee, but still. I wishy-washed about what to do and finally decided I’d start with a double espresso (Will I ever learn?!) and some breakfast. I went to the spot where the man speaks enough English to take my order.

It feels sort of sub-human not to be able to do much but grunt and point. I have mastered the order for espresso, so that’s a plus. Bon Jour is common, Merci’, Desole (Diz-ole’) which means Sorry, Au revoir. So far I’ve been able to skate by with those small phrases, but if anyone asks me something in French, I just stare blankly at them, point to my chest, and say American. Most of them laugh at me, which, truly, I deserve.

While enjoying the atmosphere of the restaurant, I decided to look for a park.

I asked Google maps for the nearest parks. I sorted them by distance, selected a Botanical garden and set off. Now, before I go any farther in this story, let me explain something Google didn’t get. When I asked for a garden or park, I didn’t mean the street name. I arrived at the destination only to find that it was a street. MAOU!

Looking at the map, however, I noted that the Caen Botanical Garden wasn’t far away, so I adjusted my sails and set off again.

The little car was painted like the Love Bug Herbie. It was cute and the woman who owned it was an older woman with dyed dark hair. When I put up my camera, she smiled radiantly and laughed.

The screeching I could hear echoing off the building walls turned out to be this handsome seagull. Skyrats I’ve heard them called, but he was none to happy to be hanging out in the neighborhood.

The next picture is a shot down the street where Google sent me to the wrong place. It felt a bit overwhelming with all the details involved in the shot, but the street, itself, was quiet.

The last picture in this set reflects the height, the gothic style, and the detailing of the old homes. Each house on the street had a different, although similar, style. Some had carparks, others had on street parking. I recognize some of the car brands, but there are many I don’t.

At the end of the street, I turned left and walked a good length of block. At the nearby roundabout, there were people bustling about their day. Many of them seemed to be about 65+, carrying groceries, and dressed conservatively.

This is a sign. No, really. I understand the basic words, but I had to use Google translate to really understand. I didn’t bother with the names of the plants because they are carefully curated, marked, and I wanted to enjoy the time I had.

Yes, that’s me. A face with the name. Mare Martell.

Noel Bernard (1874-1911) demonstrated in this greenhouse the symbiosis or fungi in tuberous roots of orchids.

The scent of the earth in the garden was so rich with alien fragrances that it made it hard to breathe…breathtaking. Even in early Autumn, the flowers and plants were holding true to their lives. The temperature was 64 degrees, partly sunny, a breeze blowing but the redolence cleansed my spirit.

Several groups of French schoolchildren were being ushered through the phytology. The teacher attempting to hold their attention was chattering to them as much as they were chittering to each other.

I sat on a bench for a bit to engage my senses with my surroundings. Other than the children in the distance, it was peaceful. Hidden birds in the trees sang praises to the sky. Life is good.

The music of water called to me. I heeded the melody to an eight foot tall cascade tumbling languidly into a shallow pond. I wanted to sit and watch the waterfall, but the carved log bench across from it had been knocked off its base and was resting in an awkward angle removing that possibility.

To the left of the waterfall were some rough stone steps. I climbed up them to the top. The first picture in the above series was my reward. The third picture shows an odd growth pattern. It stretched across the ground for about nine feet before reaching its trunk to the sky. The last picture is a water garden feature. On the bottom right, you can see where it meanders into a stream. The lily pads were growing as if an artist had chosen that precise spot to place them. I sat on a bench and drank in the beauty for a while.

And then there were the sculptures scattered among the natural features. These were a bit more contemporary, but the following statues follow a more traditional sense of aesthetic.

The neatly trimmed hedges that give background to these was being trimmed by a man on a very tall ladder. They are precisely cut to 90 degree angles at the top, forming a box-like structure to them.

An interesting trellis.
The ceiling in the bistro.
A fiery flower near the trellis.

As I made my way back to the apartment where I’m staying, I reflected on the sensory contentment I experienced. It’s like history pumping through my veins in such a magical way that I’ve been absorbed into the world. The architecture is so beautiful that even though things are close together, even touching or seamless, there is a sense of spaciousness. A liberation of the senses that I’d equate to a dream-like state that I don’t want to wake up from any time soon.

My spirit is happy. My heart is full. My body, although cranky, is grateful for the vigor in which I’m engaging with the city. My guidance is to travel as often and as far as possible. Although I’ve traveled quite a bit of the United States, experiencing the uncertainty of the unfamiliar has been extraordinary. And to think, if it weren’t for my clients, I wouldn’t be here! Peace be with you.

Day four continues…

After over a two hour delay and having arrived at the stop unwittingly four hours in advance, I’m on my way to Caen, Normandie, France.

It kind of looks like a very green version of Arkansas that I’ve driven through a few times.

There is a bathroom on the bus but it is full and can’t be used. The wi-fi works but doesn’t connect to the internet. 🙄

If you asked me if I’ve been upset at the ridiculous amount of delays so far on this trip, I’d have to be honest and tell you no. Each step of the way, I’ve found reasons to be joyful, comfortable in my uncertainty.

Lost? No problem. How can I solve this issue? Google maps has been a lifesaver. Language barrier? No sweat. Pull out Google translate. Uncertain of what to do for activities? Airbnb has excellent suggestions. Not sure what’s nearby to eat? UberEats was surprisingly easy to use in Paris.

Although I have questioned my navigation skills, I’m still arriving exactly when I need to be somewhere. I’m okay. This is an extraordinary experience. I’m just as glad for the bumpy bits as well as the smooth sailing.

This was the sight I got to look at for several hours while waiting for the 4:55pm bus which didn’t show up until 7:15pm.
This was looking up the street where I waited with good company.
After the bus made it to Caen, I waited for the local tram to collect me and my newfound friend.

Call me foolish, or call me an idiot, but the woman on the left is my new friend Marie France. I saw her ID, no kidding. She and I, along with several other people waited for the same bus to arrive. Each time we’d see a bus, we’d collectively get excited then collectively disappointed.

We talked about what we do for a living and what our passions are, which as you can well guess, death and dying came up. It was a great discussion. Marie bought us all water and refused to accept anything in return. When the bus arrived, we sat in our assigned seats which was sadly not near each other.

However, when we got off the bus in Caen, she asked how I was going to get where I was going. I explained about the tram and the walk from the stop to where I’m staying. She pish-poshed me and told me nonsense. She would drive me home.

Without even thinking about it, I accepted. The picture I took of her is after I told her to give me her beautiful. She laughed out loud and got bashful. She works as a greeter at the hospital in the second picture, but there is rumor they’re going to eliminate the position. She’s not worried though. She said she’ll find something else in the office environment.

Her gray car had suicide doors! She hustled about clearing the front seat for me to ride since my luggage and hers took up the back seat. I practically live in my car too. I reassured her, she was not alone.

At that moment, I thought about human trafficking and freaking A if I didn’t scare myself a bit with that, but it was all okay. She not only made sure I got where I was going and that I was able to get in. The Farside had a cartoon:

This has been me since I got here.

I got the keys, no problem. I got the code right, no problem. The door has a handle which looks like a pull, so that is what I kept doing. Marie, on the other hand, pushed the door open while I, you guessed it, FACEPALM.

She made sure I got into the first floor (second floor in America) apartment. We hugged and she left to go to her own well deserved bed.

I’m sorry I forgot to include this in the original post. It was an invaluable time with a very special person I feel fortunate to have met. She was impressive with her speaking of several languages as natural as a native born. Wherever you are, Bless you for being you, Marie France.

Day Three

I’m having a hard time believing this is real. I’m really in Paris!

The Weekend has served me The Nectar of the Gods each day. I left them a tiny yellow duck, an Always Beautiful card and a Euro.
Each one of these locks have messages of love on them. Some of them are engraved, some are painted, others have been written on with markers. It was across the river from the Eiffel Tower. There were houseboats moored there.
One of the locks.
It’s a lot taller than I thought it would be.
The Jardin de Troubadour is filled with tourists, myself included.
A small garden had a butterfly enjoying the sunshine and flowers.
This was a sight to behold.
And finally for this part of the day, I took a stroll with a Parisian Pigeon.
Arch de le Triumph was massive. I got lost and ended up taking a taxi to the Eiffel Tower.

Navigating the public transportation has proven to be a challenge, but I found my way back to where I’m staying and most of the way to my meet-up.

The trains are clean and mostly not too crowded. The stops are lit in LEDs so you know where you are. Although I couldn’t figure out how to get on the train at first, I was helped by a tall security guard.

When I got lost, I lost trust in my navigation skills a bit, but, I got to see additional things because of my lack of knowledge. All in all, today has been a win so far.

In the Jardin le Troubadour

The Joy of Water

This is the message I wrote for the Water Communion Ceremony at my Unitarian Universalist Church.

The Joy of Water

Good morning and bright blessings to you all. Today we are celebrating our shared commitment and community with the intermingling of water.

“The need for connection and community is primal, as fundamental as the need for air, water, and food.”- Dean Ornish.

The joys and sorrows of our friends and families are brought together in this significant ceremony that honors our most primal need, our fundamental need to be a part of something bigger than ourselves. Ryunosuke Satoro said “Individually, we are one drop. Together, we are an ocean.” They aren’t wrong. As we unite our vision, we flow like water, gentle and soft, yet determined to ripple into the smallest nooks and crannies of those we interact with.

As individuals we can find joy in the absolute absurdity of the flow of our lives. We can also sit in stagnant pools, forgetting our purpose, our direction. What we share today is our complex history, our integration into each other’s lives of this; our bless-ed home.

What we’ve given to each other today isn’t just water, it is a legacy promise to allow ourselves to be buoyant life preservers, the purveyors of goodwill, the people of a responsible and joyous citizenry to one another and to the “church” outside these walls.

My personal relationship with water is unique and has affected my spiritual existence since I was a young human.

I grew up in West Michigan, 35 minutes from the shores of Lake Michigan. My Gram lived much closer in Grand Haven, 10 minutes away from the lakefront on VanWagoner Road. When I was lucky enough to get to visit her, it was nearly always punctuated by a trip to the water, a long walk on the pier that stretches out from the shores to a lighthouse at the end.

I’d spend hours climbing up and over great sand dunes to overlook the water. Once I was good and worn out and maybe had a Ray’s burger (Still delicious as of a few years ago) for supper, I’d walk over to the waterfront to anxiously await the start of the Musical Fountain.

The voice would boom over the loudspeaker as a single spout of water shooting upwards lit by a white light would “talk” to the gathered crowd.

“Good evening, and welcome to the Grand Haven Musical Fountain.”

The voice would continue with the particulars of that night’s program which, as a child, I disregarded because the best was yet to come. As the music began through tinny speakers (Now since upgraded), the real show began.

Sprays of water enhanced by multi-colored lights would dance the hillside across the waterway. Fans of brightly colored sprays, tall and short straight shots into the night sky, a helix shape, swaying rotations lit in time to the music. It was exciting, beautiful, and one of my favorite childhood memories.

The harbor of Grand Haven called to me in a familiar way, as if it understood my need for connection, my sense of belonging wasn’t questioned by its shores. I was accepted unquestionably by its vastness.

When I was ten years old, I went with South Congregational Church to the shores of Lake Michigan where they had a retreat. We stayed in cabins, did activities together, sang, and spent our free time doing whatever we wanted to.

I found myself walking to the outdoor chapel that had rocks for benches, pine trees as the altar, and the edgeless view of the Great Lake. As I sat in solitude, staring out over the water, taking in the beauty of nature, I heard a voice.

It wasn’t male or female. It was outside of my body, yet, somehow, so close I thought someone had snuck up behind me. Alarmed, I looked around. I was still alone. The birds were singing, the not-so-distant waves were washing the sandy shores, and the cool breeze brushed my skin ever so lightly.

The voice said, “I am with you.”

I wasn’t afraid. I wasn’t worried. It was a deeply comforting reassurance. I tried to describe it later to Rev. Richard Rowlands, but he was inadvertently both dismissive and skeptical. I didn’t tell anyone else because of that, holding onto that secret until now.

Fast forward several years in my life.

I was living in Northern Indiana at the time. I had set up the perfect bath. I had vanilla scented candles lit. I had hot water with lavender bubbles. On my boombox I had a cassette of whale songs playing.

As I relaxed in the luxurious bath, I closed my eyes and found myself drifting into what seemed like a different dimension. When I opened my eyes, I could hear the water that encompassed me. I could taste the sunlight that poured in through the window, warm and honey-like in flavor.

I eased myself up out of the water, maintaining my receptiveness and tied my bathrobe around my waist. Every bit of contact I had with the external world brought me a different level of understanding. As I stepped out my front door to witness the tree that shaded my front yard, the leaves were singing like chimes. The grass gave off a scent of satisfaction so aromatic that it deluged my nostrils with its perfume.

I heard the voice again. “I am with you.”

I don’t know exactly how it happened, but I understood things at that moment that I’d never known before then. I “got it.” I heard a language so ancient that it resonated with my spirit even today.

I heard the voice again. “I am with you.”

It didn’t last long, maybe fifteen minutes or so before I left that state. I kept that secret too, until now.

I became enthralled by nature. I felt the call of the wild. I embraced the natural world as if religion could only be found in the shells on a beach, the sandy shores of the state from which I was born or the Ponderosa Pine Forest on the Mogollon Rim with spring waters filling the streams with icy cold run-off.

I heard the trees telling stories of what they’d witnessed throughout the decades of their knowing. I felt the coalescing of my spirit with the earth where I planted my flowers and herbs. I became a devotee of Mother Earth.

I moved to Tennessee when I heard that voice again. It said, “Go now,” and showed me a picture in my mind of the exterior of the old church, I had no intention of ever setting foot inside a church as a congregant. But the voice seemed far more confident than I felt.

As each tradition of the Unitarian Universalist became revealed through my attendance, I fell into depths of pure spiritual joy. I found and cultivated relationships as deep as any I’d ever experienced.

My favorite song, written by Singer/Songwriter Peter Mayer, “Holy Now,” sings:

“When holy water was rare at best

It barely wet my fingertips.

Now I have to hold my breath

Like I’m swimmin’ in a sea of it.

It used to be a world half there,

Heaven’s second-rate hand me down.

Now I walk it with a reverent air,

‘Cause ev’rything is holy now.”

As we share our water together, there is not only a sense of unity but one of devout joy, knowing that we Are, together. Knowing that we can be filled with sustainable joy through our common communion with one another.

A smarter feller than myself once said:

“The power of water is a reminder of the power of community, and the strength that can come from working together towards a common goal. It is a symbol of life, flowing through everything and connecting us all.”

“Water flowing is a reminder to stay in harmony with nature and honor the vital role that water plays in sustaining all life on Earth. The beauty of water flowing is that it is a reminder of the power and mystery of the natural world, and our interconnectedness with it.”

See you further on up the trail. Blessed Be!

The Hourglass

My dead are buried here

Cycling the winds of change

Filling my hourglass with the sands

of moments spent with true hearts

moments charged with life’s passing

Experience dictating lessons

of community

of unity

of vision

A tribal pulse weaving roots

deep into the soil of my hearth

fashioning the cloak of enduring life

a version of immortality

told in legends measured by grains

creating a life worth living

In the Deep

I’m fragmented by your absence.

Infinitely reformed.

I’m suffering love

the color of tears.

It is salty and dark

It is laborious to breathe.

I’m not afraid

of loving you

as I held you.

I’m conscious of the vulnerability

in which I’m submersed

from our severed physical connection.

My grief is a mere reflection

of our laughter, our conversations

distilled into our unwitting last

“I love you.”

I bring the best parts of us forward with me.

I will not betray our trust.

Your love is a part of who I am now.

No matter how deep the anguish,

There is no regret in cherishing

the you I knew.

Trauma as an Ally

Trauma has become an ally

It has allowed me to see through

many shadowed secrets kept by others

who haven’t figured out

the origami of self-propelled healing

Trauma isn’t my friend, but it knows what I know

It’s circumscribed me

magnifying me in the darkness

It has believed me, revealed unguarded truth

about myself, about others, about what happens if…

I have altered myself; inside out.

It makes it easier to wear my heart on my sleeve

It forces darkness into the light

It keeps me from internalizing

It has revealed me as strong

(although I truly had to ask what that means.)

I was told “Hurt people hurt people”

I have many points of reference for torment

But, I’ve also been the recipient of deep compassion

enduring kindness, and demonstrations of resilience

that have shown me HOW to turn and be inside out

in the most powerful of ways.

A Willow’s Lament

The willow boughs in comprehension

Lose track of the wind

on the mirror surfaced lake

christening the sky

with clear intent

Where is the coffin

but sky and earth

the heavens ornaments

of universal praise

And yet, in the kitchen,

where life is rebirthed,

there gathered the women

pottery deep into breakfast

the labor of reassurance has begun

the calm center of the maelstrom;

change the only constant

There is light

Light in the darkness

Light in the chaos

So is life with death

Born when it’s time to be born;

die when it’s time to die.

It’s movement, a process

where peace with time is in repose

there is an order of things

neither joy nor sorrow may take hold

Yet, Spring, herald of rebirth

has abandoned blooming,

it feels like Winter

Like the depths of the ocean

have suddenly become thick air

Upon this fleeting dream-world

Dawn is breaking

Even though some trees are bedecked

The willow boughs in comprehension

Acknowledging the bond

and where

the direction of love is not lost

the deeper treasure of sweetened time

will reap its own reward.