I spent my life grieving “The child that never was”.
Rarely allowing, myself, a moniker of love
The betrayal of trust is the haunt of one’s nights
Ill-conceived approval, the destruction of rights
“Woulda!”, “Coulda!”, “Shoulda!” the resounding call
Destiny changed course, within the demon’s maw
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Finding a close parking spot when you’re tired or sore
Being the open face someone needs to tell secrets to on a bus, in the grocery, in a bathroom stall
Arriving on time no matter how far you’re running behind
Seeing omens in everyday items and heeding them
Showing up in an empty store and watch the people magnet to it while the confused staff has to hustle to catch up.
Having just enough stamps
Never missing a bus
Hitting an airline connection just right so there is no layover after all
I am an invisible person.
I’m sure you’ll disagree
But you’ve been well versed in
How to visualize me.
Maybe scorch-eye my belly
Disapprove my thickened thighs
Look down your nose at me ready
to allow me to be humanized
then possibly you’ll witness me
Become familiar and un-stigmatized
Sister, the wildflowers have grown tall in what once were ruts
tracing our roots back to our Goddess time bleeding
a dog path racing our boots back to the first greeting
Surprised at the ease of our friendship, I noticed
The wild grass has grown tall in what once bore dust
Weaving our roots together intimately intriguing