Category Archives: Dude

Confidential

For the first time in my adult life, I am wearing a tankini with a big fluffy skirt over it and my belly is hanging out. I didn’t go swimming, but I am wearing my swimsuit. At first, I was a little nervous, but then I trust myself in the confidence of a balding, middle-aged man who is talking about his Jesus and how women need to be submissive. And I’ve walked around town, not giving a fuck.

Born to Shine ✨
Inner Joy turned on high!

BTW: Today is my Bestie’s birthday. I’m celebrating her in all her wonder. She is so very human and so authentic to her spirit it would be the biggest challenge not to admire her.

Every bit as real in person

Celebrate

The griefs are many

but find value in truth that:

Each breath

Each heartbeat 

Each moment celebrating

Each of those

Is a courtship of death.

By embracing 

THIS breath

THIS heartbeat 

THIS moment of joy

Is a nod of recognition 

To infinite mystery

Blazing celebration

Our age is known

By the buried bones

Of our bloodline

Reflected in chosen heritage

And the legacy of their love.

Notes I write myself

I used to write down affirmations I’d find

encouraging words for a desperate receptionist

I creep on the cusp between late middle age and becoming a senior

Inadvertently, I’ve added to my counsil a ticker-tape parade

A collection of curated constellations of firefly stars.

When I felt like I was broken, a commodity to trade,

I used to write down affirmations I’d find.

They called out to other spirits in the abyss

where depth of character is most typically defined

by diagnosis

by trauma

by abuse

by neglect

By unasked questions that create black holes in conversations.

But, I realize now, that the affirmations were crutches for me

a way to organize the parts (corruption tried to kill) into pretty piles

I know now, that the people I’ve met were not, by me, to be saved.

I had no tools of my own. I couldn’t and can’t fix someone else.

Despite the advertisements of affirmations I forced myself to witness,

I felt safe among the wounded and the broken

as if acknowledging their suffering, I could heal my own.

By hand and earth, I lit my beacon, my lantern, and held it aloft.

I’m not a map, but I can point you the way out of the inky depths

I used to write down affirmations, but now, I hold the moment

learn from it, accept it, savor the flavor, come what may

Desiderate

I feel an animosity towards time

It proceeds without caution,

barreling through individual’s lives

destruction and creation embodied

A shallow dagger tattooing memories

in a word.

I swallow in lusty gulps the mana

that ever and again poisons me

with child-like misplaced trust

of the perpetuation of consistency

bathed in my blissful ignorance

in a word.

It’s not enough to hold resentment

towards the testament of our days,

nor is it a hobby to be taken frivolously

It is neither good nor evil,

but yet it commonly holds the dichotomy

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times”

Or so the story goes

in a word.

HNBR: Day 6

As we prepare to conclude our vacation, there is much that I need to chaw on for a while. Here are some highlights:

My Aunt Lizzy is one of the most beautiful women I know. Fresh from caring for her yard, she lives up to her shirt.

I couldn’t love this picture or I might explode.

This was our last hug before we left. What a treat to be with those hearts!

This naughty lady, bedecked in a pride collar and a satisfied expression had to be wrangled back into her home after taking advantage of friendly greetings and an open door. Ruby is a good girl.

My dad is on his front porch doing dad things.

My mom doing her thing.

Pegs and Jokers was introduced by my Aunt Helen and Uncle Lou a couple years back to my Rents. My mom and dad raved about it sharing how much fun they had. I got it for them for Christmas the same year. Tonight was the inaugural playing. My dad won.

Very intense concentration
Switched to Yahtzee! Old school box with the rules still in it. My dad got a Yahtzee, but Jen wiped the floor with all of us ending up with THREE Yahtzees!
She is the champion!
Dad came in at #2
Mom was a close #3

And then…

Last cow home.

8am comes a return to our regularly scheduled programming. This has been incredible. Lots of information to digest and process before I can sort through this beautiful, wonderful, farted up life. Bless this holy water..

HNBR: Part 4 of Day 4

On the back of the carriage seat we rode on through the Mackinac State Park, someone had placed an apt sticker. We knew what row we were in because of that.

We had 7 minutes to run over and look at this natural formation. The scientific reason for this phenomenon is erosion but the Indigenous story was much better. The beach down below was relatively quiet. It was quite a difference between the beaches in Portugal and Michigan’s. Our driver yelled Marco and we responded with Polo so we knew we had to get back to the tour.

I almost forgot this little beauty. At the butterfly conservatory, there was a terrarium out on the porch with a sign that read “Warning! Attack Turtle” only it was empty. We found out why when the guide at the Wings of Mackninac explained that she took this little tortise out with her when she went on lunchbreak so the newly found friend could enjoy a rich harvest of dandelions.

After we left the tour carriage, we walked down a steep hill. At the bottom of the hill, across from a large park, we found this church. The door was open. We agreed that going in as UU’s was rather obligatory. The hymns and readings were still up from Easter.

We found this directly across from the entrance. We took it seriously, quietly ushered ourselves in, sitting in a pew farthest from the door. A family was in there and the kids were making all sorts of uncorrected noise. After they left, we settled into the peace only to have two older women come in, sit at the back, and talk on their phones. We stayed until we’d looked up the hymns and readings.

Water dancing on the haint blue ceiling. Jen and I were lightly surprised to see such a cajun tradition carried on that far north.

For some reason, there are two signs for the Mackinac State Harbor. We got pictures of both.

I’m vibing with the wooden version of the sign, what about you?

This is one of my favorite pictures of Jen because I was making her laugh so hard she was literally doubled over. I’m not even sure what I was saying to her, but it sure did get her giggler.

A gigantic lilac bush that smelled utterly pure.

A bit of VanGogh brought to you by the Detroit Institute of Arts. It was just hanging around on the harbor path.

Beauty comes in so many subjective forms. These pretties were just hanging out in a field of grass we walked through.

I’m pointing to the seal and the letter M because…Mare.

The view from our room at the Cedar Hill Lodge.

HNBR: Part I of Day 4

Our ferry company of choice.
At the dock waiting to board the ferry.
Our ferry is about to arrive at our dock.
This is the very faint outline of the 9:30am ferry heading to the island.
It was cold enough for me to buy gloves first thing. This was our front view.
As we neared the island, The Grand Hotel came into view. The boat ride was choppy so not the easiest to capture it.
This is a snapshot of popular attractions.

This is the first stop we made with a bathroom conveniently nearby. Next post will show you more of the day. Jen said today wasn’t boring.

HNBR: Day 2-3

The start of our journey was optimistic and great vibes. The day was brilliant with sunshine. Pine trees for miles. Excellent journey.
I’m on the left, Suey is beaming in the center, Bebop is in the buffalo plaid, and Madam President Jen is glistening. Met for drinks and dessert with the second batch of my fellow Poll Dancers. Earlier we broke bread with Lynda and spent time shopping for our church meeting.
Just south of Cadillac, MI, Bestie doing her best Vanna White.
The black spot on my teeth is a blueberry from the pancakes my loving dad made for us this morning. The grin we share is because we’re almost to the Mighty Mac.
We are driving on the bridge between the Upper and Lower Peninsula of Michigan. The bridge sings a song of descending tones the slower you go. We should nickname this trip “Left Lane Closed.”
We made it! Woot! Yeehaw! $4 to drive that bridge. It’s a tourist trap. 
This is a pasty. It’s a meat pie with potatoes, rutabaga, carrots, and traditional spices. This was a 7 on my scale. This one was dry even with gravy. Jen was not a fan, so…
She got us matching bracelets! Then we had to find her a place to eat.
A woman recommended this place. Jen ordered a cheeseburger 🍔 and Jalapeño poppers. She rated the burger an 8/10. The meat had a really good good flavor which got overpowered by the condiments. The poppers were large and juicy but overpriced. 8/10. Overall a solid 8 on the scale of Jen.
Note they serve POP here, not coke or soda, just POP.

As we were leaving the drive in we needed to moose 🫎

Me moosing
Jen moosing
Together we amoosed ourselves.

As if that were enough! We also trained ourselves. Engine to caboose:

Long before Jen knew me I once spent a week at a school camp where breaking table rules made you have to kiss the moose. 🫎 I was not puckering up.
Bunny ears on the moose because I’m 12.
The whole train
Petting a weird dog
Weirdly petting a dog

The day was dang near perfect for me. 9/10. Jen had a 7/10 day because we rode in the car, got food, and went swimming. I’m either easily pleased or I need to up my expectations! Jen said she was bored today.