Did you forgot?

I stand outside looking in
I am invisible to my blood
Acknowledged occasionally
A pest returning under the table
A tornado siren blaring
Obtrusive and important
Disregarded. Irrelevant.
I do not fit into other’s busy lives
I, too, am busy but in a difficult way.
I desire creation of love
But accept morsels of neglect
Reminders that my youthful wisdom
Was braver than my adult spirit

Trauma as an Accomplice

Trauma has become an accomplice

It has allowed me to see through

many shadowed secrets

People who haven’t figured out

the origami of self-propelled healing

Trauma isn’t my friend,

but it knows what I know

It’s circumscribed me

magnifying me in the darkness

It has believed me, revealed unguarded truth

about myself, about others, about what happens if…

I have altered myself; inside out.

It makes it easier to wear my heart on my sleeve

It forces darkness into the light

It keeps me from internalizing

It has revealed me as strong

(although I truly had to ask what that means.)

I was told hurt people hurt people

I have many points of reference for torment

But, I’ve also been the recipient of deep compassion

enduring kindness, and demonstrations of resilience

that have shown me HOW to turn and be inside out

in the most powerful of ways.