Truth
Tag Archives: human
Apology
I’m asking for an apology
one I know I’ll never get
for every time you hurt me
for each of these regrets.
For every neglectful incident
for refusal to pull emotional weight
for your bitter anger towards me
for which I took the bait
For the disturbing blackmail
that you forced on me to pay
with the difference between want and need
being thrown up in my face
Pass it onward!
Abide with Life
I was sure I’d be dead by 21. I was positive I’d be married and have children. I was convinced that I would be married forever.
I’m 56 years old now. I live happily by myself with a pup and a cat for company. I’m surrounded by friends who love and celebrate me. I own my own business. And, weirdly enough, my path has become one of caregiving and spiritual with a focus on death and dying.
My 18 year old self, my 25 year old self, and even my 40 year old self wouldn’t recognize the life I have now. Possibilities have changed my life when I started saying yes and quit doing what I thought I should.
This life I build each day is a true adventure.
Pass it onward!
*%(&% Covid got me
Well that was an adventure I do not wish to revisit.
I started feeling off late on the 24th. Like, foggy froggy gross kind of off. Knowing that one of the places I frequent to visit clients had a recent outbreak that spread rather rapidly and even though I wore my mask and sanitized the dickens out of my hands, I thought to test.
On a Covid test, it tells the tester to set a timer for 15 minutes and read the results. Dudes, it wasn’t even a minute when I got the positive test. Yup, still the same at the 15 minute mark. I tested positive. FARTS!
I’ve avoided the plague for four years, but in my line of work of caregiving, I could only dodge the bullet for so long. I’m sorry my reign ended but I wouldn’t trade the time I had with my beloved clients to change that.
Three days of heavy flu-like symptoms, then a cough which gradually dwindled. Fever free on day 5. Feeling as normal as I can at 10 days out.
I hate being sick. I hate not being able to GO! GO! GO! It goes against my ethics, but I further know that if I don’t take care of myself, I’m setting myself up for failure. I’m not willing to fail. I’m not willing to give up. I’m not willing to surrender.
Pass it onward!
Intimate Brain
Repeatedly she kissed my hand
hugged my arm close to her body
She apologized not with “I’m sorry,”
but repeatedly with “I love you.”
Her eyes met mine briefly
with the woman she once was
vanished in a blink which, again,
began her litany of obsession.
What I witnessed, what I felt, what I learned,
wasn’t enough to ease her anxiety
her frustration and anger
even if she doesn’t quite understand why.
“I love you. I love you. I love you.”
“I love you too, dear one.”
I truly do. I fell in love with my new friend
Brain intimate with momentary lucidity
She smiled sunshine towards me despite her clouds
I promised to carry her love with me
Pass it onward!
Because I LOVE You
Transformation
Because I LOVE you
The revolution begins
Not with violence
But in the most sacred part of a living being
A shift in belief
A consideration of possibilities
A seed planted in the right conditions
An adventure and adaptation
A surrender to truth
A conspiracy of hope.
Equity
Because I LOVE you
When the “them” become we
When there is celebration in diversity
When homogenization is frowned upon
When being different is cherished
When others become us
When we walk ten miles beside them
When we seek to share our spirits
Without fear, without repercussions
When balance is restored to all living beings
Plurality
Because I LOVE you
You can bow your head
Covered or uncovered
You can walk holy halls
With shoes or without
You can pray all day
Or not at all
You can profess your faith
Or you can remain silent
You can go to church
Or you can stay at home
Justice
Because I LOVE you
I will protect you to the best of my ability
I will see you as the human you are
I will not convert you or force feed you
I will be quiet, so your voice is heard
I will walk beside you and stand behind you
I will support your righteous cause
I will encourage your truth
I will honor the authority over your personal autonomy
Generosity
Because I LOVE you
When you are overwhelmed and crying
I will bring comfort and compassion
When you are hungry
I will feed your spirit and your belly
When you are sick or weak
I will spoon feed you broth or lend you my strength
When your heart is heavy with grief
I will give you a haven to wade into the depths
When you are in need of a hand up
I will give what I can, when I can, as often as I can
Interdependence
Because I LOVE you
You are me.
I am you.
No matter which faces you see when you pray
No matter how you show up
No matter what, you are my kin
My blood is filled with your laughter and tears
You may not understand,
But know that I hold no judgment on your heart
I don’t know your hardships or happiness
But I know that you are LOVEd exactly as you are
Despite of and because of everything that makes you, YOU.
I am a Unitarian Universalist
“Because I LOVE you and I obey the Law of LOVE.”
Pass it onward!
Just Shy
Not a shrinking violet
Or scared to use her voice
Like a maestro with an instrument
She delivered courageous joy
Dire situations didn’t daunt her
A guidon in a hurricane
although the grim did haunt her
Fear forgot her name
Pass it onward!
Inspired by Only Fragments
“it’s because he’s the sun, the source of all light in the universe, and you’re just the moon with no light of your own.“
I have been the sun shining so brightly that you lit up as well. But I was greedy, self-involved, callous to your pleas for your own two feet. I couldn’t hear your voice because mine was too loud and I loved the sound of it more than I did yours. I couldn’t hear your suffering because I believed I was the only one who had a right to be the victim. I forced you to be a martyr for my cause, not yours. I stripped you naked of everything I didn’t like about myself, absorbed your “good parts” as if they were my own. I tipped the balance of justice so that I appeared the one who was rightly outraged. I was repulsed by your actions because they were exactly what I would do if I weren’t so vain to believe I was superior to you. I held your confidence because that was in our agreement. You held mine because that’s who you wanted to be, or rather who “I” wanted you to be. For all of that, I hope you can forgive my recklessness, my rejection, my lack of confidence in who you were born to be. I beg for your grace and mercy that I refused to offer you, or myself, while I preyed on my own foibles as a pathetic excuse for a relationship with you.
Pass it onward!
Approaching Senior
I am too old to be considered youthful
Yet, I’m a child, still wet-behind-the-ears
I’ve lived a life precariously truthful
But still, I’ve yet to see all of my years.
I have been as close to death as dust
But I still don’t know it by its common name
I have gifted dirges to those I’ve loved
A place in my heart they’ve claimed
If I’m blessed to live an entire century,
I hope that I won’t sit alone by the window
Waiting for those I love to learn too late they love me.
I’d languish for their amity, my companion, my shadow
There is a certain reverence to a life lived unfurled
The spiral tapestries of the lessons learned
Woven back upon itself briefly, beautifully curled
Love and joy have always been the life for which I’ve yearned
Pass it onward!
Fishing
I entered the Anderson County Fair this with a wood art piece I call “Fishing”. Today I got news!
Last year, I entered this piece made of paper and embellishments:
My confidence is accepting myself.
Mare Martell 