To the face I did not know
The one whose name is clandestine
Spoken whispers, just below hearing
Your breath did not share my space
I never knew your laughter
Nor could I recognize your voice
Your eyes and mine have never met
But I grieve the loss of you.
The you were human, like me.
The you who had happiness and sorrow
The you who was quiet or loud
The you who was every bit as breathing as I am
The you who was every bit as worthy of love
The you who was every bit as alive
You were invaluable to the fabric of the Universe
I stand as witness that you existed
I attest to your right to dignity as a human being
May love now surround you with grace and mercy.
Song’s of Nation’s Pride (Again)
This poem was originally posted on April 16th, 2015 as part of a writing challenge. It seems to fit the mood I find myself in today. The day before the inauguration of Voldemort the Orange (my phrase) and his Plunder monkeys (Stephen King’s phrase).
I truly believed at my mother’s knee
That when I sang, “My Country ‘Tis of Thee”
The words I sang were truer than true
That if I bled for honor, it would be red, white, and blue.
But I’ve awakened to find a land divided
Bathed in disparity, desecration of what was once united.
I was taught at my Navy Veteran Daddy’s knee
That the Star Spangled Banner was to be honored deeply
That if I sang with truth in my heart
I’d stand united with my countrymen, never to part.
I believed in the land of the free, home of the brave
But I’ve awakened to find a land of the fee, home of the slaves.
I understood from my Grandparent’s legends
That America the Beautiful open armed beckoned
The words describing purple mountains and amber waves
Breathing life into the fruited plains of graves
But I’ve awakened to find a dying fracked rocky tops
Blackened drought plains laying desolate of crops
Where my family is from in Michigan The Rapids, la Grande
Makes me, all joking aside, a Yankee Doodle Dandy
Where the emblem of, the land I loved
Was supposed to be where there’s never a boast or brag
But I’ve awakened and I’ve found this only applies to non-fags
If you’re slightly brown skinned or poor, they turn you away
Ain’t nobody got time for that, they’ll remove you from society’s gray.
Love Showed Up
When I have been in darkest pain
Feeling I could not hope again
Love showed up.
When I felt lost and overwhelmed
Riding grief on a boat unhelmed
Love showed up.
When I’d thought my demon’s vanquished
But they roared to life, causing anguish
Love showed up.
It didn’t try to change my pain
But gently whispered, “Try again.”
Love showed up.
It didn’t try to change my trouble
It helped me to clean up the rubble
Love showed up.
It helped me navigate which way to travel
Clothing myself in threads unraveled
Love showed up.
Its compass pointed to my true north
Showing me how to sally forth
Love showed up.
It walked beside me on meandering paths
Teaching forgiveness for my past
Love showed up.
Widow’s Peak
She desires to be a widow
so bad that she can taste it
The casseroles and condolences
With open arms embraced it
She wears no widow’s weed
Nor tithed the widow’s Mite
With crocodile tears in her eyes
Their mourning her spotlight
When the flowers have all wilted
And the calls have all but eased
Will she then be grateful
That it was he deceased?
Note: This isn’t written about anyone in particular. It’s a what if.
Delusional
The devil came to my door
He rang the bell and cried
He lied that I was once adored
His chest puffed out with pride
His deception blackly oozed because
There is blood upon his hands
By his nature he’s embodied faux pas
In his hollowed-out grandstand
Convinced there is an audience
Still, he bows his head to pray
“No.” is nothing obvious
I refuse him the time of day
He invades my home with anger
Grief that should have long been spent
His recklessness is dangerous
But he simply won’t relent
His wounds are dark and oozing
His heart is arctic cold
He reminds me that he thinks of me
At least that’s what I’m told
His prayers remain unanswered
He leans on crutch and wit
His aura is all cancered
No blame will he remit
The Ashes of Nobody
The ashes of nobodies
(No bodies?)
Are in a mausoleum
Placed on a shelf
Without ceremony
As if life repeats itself in death
Held without specific honor
No proof of ancestry
Tracing roots back to the dust
They’ve returned to
without a name or with
unknown cause or suppos-ed
forgotten or lost
As if life repeats itself in death
No words to dress them in Saint’s clothes
A hurried end without recompense
Humbly offered words of worth
They did exist here on earth
They dreamed the dreams of all of us
But the shelter line was drawn too high
The cracks they fell into, too deep
As if life repeats itself in death
Anger
This is what it feels like when it’s directed towards me:

Chickadee
On my front deck, I’ve allowed spiders to live as they will. There are several webs that are cluttered with carcasses of bugs. The hunters don’t hunt me, I feel good about being a steward to their dinners, and I can sit outside undisturbed by flying insects. Everyone wins.
While enjoying my morning prayers and ritual of Kawphy drinking, I heard a thump and saw a flutter at my front window. My curiousity piqued, I stepped to the window to see what happened, as did my cat.
Caught in one of the webs was the tiniest of chickadees, suspended in peril. I stepped out onto my porch to see if it were actually stuck. It’s beak was open and it appeared to be having difficulties breathing. I pulled the wicker chair away from the wall. To my horror, the little avian fell to the porch, wings outspread.
I gently picked it up from the porch allowing it to rest on my fingers. I slowly and carefully pulled away the web that was holding its wings. I noticed there was some web on it’s beak, so ever so gently, I pulled that away as well.
There I stood on my porch, holding this precious little creature. I cooed to it, told it how beautiful it was, and explained that it was free to go when it was ready. Together we waited.
Its head turning, tilting, and observing with its curiousity as sure as mine. It pooped on my hand, but I didn’t move. I was busy cherishing this rare occurence, reveling in the beauty of the intimacy I was sharing. I felt excitement, reverence, and in tune with the natural world.
This suspended time lasted for about five minutes before the bird took liberation from its ordeal. I watched it take off with an elation that I can only equate to winning a prize. In a way, I suppose I did.
Death Conference
I get hyper-excited about a lot of things. I love chickens, Kawphy, my sainthood friends, my church, etc. But, getting excited about death? Yup. That’s also me.
My saint of a bestie Jen woke me up at 4:20 this morning. I was setting my alarm before going to sleep, couldn’t figure out what I wanted to wake up to, plugged up my phone assured that my alarm would go off. Only it didn’t because I didn’t save it. Yes, you can eye roll.
My brain was on backwards so I hope I didn’t forget to pack any essentials. I was mostly ready minus chargers and my laptop.
I’m currently sitting in the Knoxville airport awaiting a flight to Chicago. Then, off to Seattle. After catching an Uber to my hotel (a block away from the conference location), I’m going to rest, breathe, and ground myself.
I’ve booked a haunted walking tour for tonight which was recommended by Jordan from Calamity’s Coffee. I’ll catch you up as things unfold.

Lost Religion
There is a Spirit in the soil
The place where life begins
and to where it again returns
You have to run up to the very edge
of your very own grave
to understand how deeply
your Spirit’s truth can go
How connected we all are
as transient souls;
seperate but one
The Spirit calls out to us every moment
rarely is it heard as the truth
Destructive forces we are against it
We are poor stewards of our gift
our home, our residence, our church


