A blind eye in my family line denies that it is so
When forced from under his vulgar façade
He admits that he is that low
Why laughter and a joking word
Are used to take away
Why groping hands and choking words
Were never child’s play.
Category Archives: Relationships
Air Weaving
What the people around me don’t know
is that I am hyper aware
of all their dirty secrets
that are woven in their hair.
Events, they rarely touch me
no matter what they be
mind over mind redundant
crystal clear I see
The patterns of the lives that pass
right before my eyes
are rainbow colored epiphanies
pure as a summer sky.
But things are never simple
they’re never in a line
Things do not run linear
scatter fields of emotional land mines
Because people lie
and people thieve
and people want to win
People hurt each other
as if it’s not a sin
I witness every nuance
each glance
or expression
they try to hide
I’ll keep all their secrets
locked up safe inside.
If they ask me for the key
which they rarely do
I backhand them bluntly
straightening the askew.
Pass it onward!
Mixed Nuts
Pass it onward!
The heated battle
I am currently in a heated argument with the Universe. I am being sent omen after omen telling me to trust who I am and my vision for the future. However, trusting that hasn’t paid my bills in the past, although I’ve never wanted for anything and my heart has been happy, my husband has made many sacrifices for me to do that. We can’t afford me to say the words the Universe wants to hear.
How can I trust that what is in my heart is right? How can I let go of the need to pay rent, put food on the table, have internet service, and maintain my lifestyle. I don’t own a lot of stuff (except weird hats and odd eclectic clothes), but I like what I have including the less than stellar accommodations’ location.
I hear the Universe pulsing in my veins like a driving song that makes the foot drop on the accelerator just a little too hard. I feel my heart get excited and feel “right” when I hear, “Thank you, Mare. I always feel better when I talk to you.” I take deepest joy and satisfaction in just hugging people until their pieces are glued enough for their hearts to feel better. I adore sharing laughter, good and bad jokes which makes me feel richer than any pocketbook could hold.
But the Universe begs me to hear. It is constantly prodding me. I hear it whisper over and over, “You don’t belong there. You’re too big for that room. You’re meant for greater things. You need to be out in the world. Go put on your cape and trust me.”
But my practical side says, “I can sacrifice my physical comfort for a paycheck so my husband doesn’t have to worry any more. I can give up a bit of time so that we can get back on our feet as the trail of my medical bills have left us a bit underground.”
“Heed me.” Begs the voice. “You’re missing every first event around because I put them on the weekends you “need” to work. I’m making sure you’re understanding what’s wrong with this picture. Are you getting my message?”
“No. I mean yes. I mean…I know, I get it, but I have things I really want to do and that takes…”
“Yes, but you’re not trusting me. You’re not hearing my words to you. You know, in your spirit, I’m speaking your truth but you doubt me. I’ve never let you down.”
“I’m going to do this. Right now. I’m setting my alarm so I can go back to my job tomorrow and earn my paycheck to ease my family’s burdens.”
“And I’m going to keep dropping boulders on you until you pay attention. This is not your destiny. Go do as I asked you to do.”
“Maybe after pay day. Right now, I’m saving up to pay off some medical bills, some personal loans, and looking for a safer place to live.”
If the Universe were a human, it would be rolling its eyes at me, wondering how obtuse of a human it created could actually be. “Omens, my dear one. Look for the omens that are right in front of your face. I don’t know how much more obvious I can make them. You don’t have to worry, just trust me.”
“Oh, I trust you,” as I push the buttons on my phone setting my alarm for 5:16AM. “I just don’t believe my bills will get paid and I’m not sure you understand how important that is to sentient beings like me.”
Another eyeroll. “When are you going to get it? Really? You’re not a sentient being. You’re a spirit in a meat suit. Your spirit is your destiny. Meet it. Be it. Belong to the realm of the Spirit Walkers.”
“You’re crazy!”
“You’re not crazy enough.”
Pass it onward!
TRIGGER WARNING! Break the Silence, STOP! The violence!
TRIGGER WARNING: I’m going to post this without using names because I don’t want to be disrespectful but needs to be addressed.
A while ago, I saw this video and it disturbed me. It was encouraging to some extent but the second part really made me wonder what would I do if I were in the same shoes witnessing this happening in front of me. Here is the video. Again, POSSIBLE TRIGGER WARNING:
I truly hoped that I’d be brave enough to stand up for anyone no matter who it is/was should they forget they have a right to feel safe, to not be humiliated, degraded, or otherwise emotionally abused. I witnessed an attractive young man be told by his girlfriend that he’s a fatty, that if she found someone with more money she’d leave him, but worse, in my eyes (as if those aren’t bad enough) she told him in front of other co-workers that he has dick sucking lips and should go find someone to blow. I said nothing at that time. It really truly bothered me, but I remained silent. Until today.
After witnessing another bout of her abuse, this time not only of this young man but of myself and another person, I went and spoke out against the consistent pattern of abuse found in her behavior. She holds a position of authority so I didn’t feel comfortable confronting her directly but asked guidance from a trusted superior who advised me to report it which I did. As I described what I’d heard and witnessed and the accommodations I’d made to avoid the confrontation I would not be able to restrain much longer, I was scared shitless. Not whether or not I was doing the right thing, but because the last time I reported someone in authority at a former job I held, I was fired.
My point in explaining all of this is because I feel like I shouldn’t have waited to say something. I should have reported it sooner. I should have, but I remained silent. I do not regret speaking out. I only regret that I allowed someone to suffer because I didn’t want to rock the boat. It’s rockin’ now, and I won’t back down not now, not ever again. He doesn’t deserve any less protection because he forgot he had a voice. NOBODY deserves abuse. Absolutely NOBODY!
P.S. This wouldn’t be so short, but I’ve yet to completely process this. I reserve the right to come back to this and revisit it once the processing has completed. (Keep in mind my brain is the 1968 model and may take longer than others.) 🙂
Pass it onward!
Tribe of Artists: UNITE!
If you’re a writer, a poet, a painter, an artist of any kind, I’d like to help you succeed. I’d like to do a featured artist of the week which will allow you exposure to my fellow bloggers. If you’d like to be featured (aka pinned) then drop me an email with a link to your page(s). If selected, I will make sure that I cross reference your work on Pinterest, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and of course WordPress.
I believe strongly in supporting those with talent, drive, and ambition to bring their humanity into beautiful fruition. Although, and yes it pains me to say this, I can’t pay you anything, if we all share anyone’s art we really dig, we can spread even more beauty in the world. If you have a show coming up, let me know, I can post that too. I really want to help.
If you haven’t already done so, I encourage you to check out Activate Your Life! on Google + via the Anjana Network which is a group for artists of all sorts to find support and encouragement in their artistic field of choice. I am a moderator there and will happy to check out even more ways to help you promote your life’s work.
My email is the same as my page @gmail.com as well as at hotmail.com maremartell that is (Trying to confuse spambots may confuse you too but it’s my name with the appropriate suffixes). Let’s see what kind of an empire we can achieve when we lift one another up in love.
Pass it onward!
Love Thy Neighbor: FOR SALE!
Just like on the back of my super hero cape, you can also own this design to wear with pride anywhere you travel. It’s love is demonstrated for all humans to be and love who they do. Part of the proceeds will go to The Crisis Center in Bristol, TN/VA as a way to give back for their contributions to loving thy neighbor enough to speak out.
Pass it onward!
Gaia, a tribute
Fertile is her breath and blood
To shower the world’s full girth
With lusty creations bursting forth
To populate her earth
She blooms and blossoms, swollen up
To share new life through birth
We belong beneath the laughing light
Of her full figured mirth
She rules the night, on the moon she rides
As sure as change and flooding tides
The heavens obey her slightest command
Maelstrom storms as she demands
With strength and ferocity she stands her keep
At day she rests but doesn’t sleep
Shout prayers of joy surrounding her
As swollen as she stands
Upon the past and future time
Through the hourglass of sands.
Pass it onward!
To Honor Kali
The Goddess Kali-ma
I hear her voice as twinkling smooth as wine
Her lips sparkling words like silver sweet
Precious in their divine
Guiding hands to keep me warm with a caresses gentle bliss
Heated breath of her lover’s mouth emblazoned with her kiss
I walk with her on star-lit roads
I hear her sigh the night
I hear a tiny cricket’s call
The wisp of an owl in flight
I smell the scent of impending rain
The trickle of a nearby stream
The blush of moon blessed breezes
Floating through my dreams
Intimate imaginings spring forth in passions song
Spooned soft against my lover’s thigh
Eternal night prolonged
Pressed tight with lust to feed at her breast
I feel the release of my birth
I respond to her smoldering touch
I’m embraced within her earth
Pass it onward!
Brushed Out
Clumps of dirt, dust, and debris rotted my brains
whenever I tried to speak to passers by
I’d hold my beggar’s cup earnestly pushing
for loose change to fall chiming into the depths
speaking foul breathed words of backwards intent
Clumps of zombie flesh fell from my body
repulsing potential friends, disgusting possible employers
until
I blinked my eyes to dream and you coalesced
pristine
extraordinary
You made strange sense of my chaos, spoke to me
with careful brush strokes through my tangled words
Ever so gently you tugged at my self-loathing,
conditioned my confidence,
curled my toes with affection,
showered me with the truth through your actions
as you loved my pieces back together.
With frightened squalling wails of labor,
forsaking all others
I was born into redemption with your hand embracing mine
the day I agreed with you that I am worthy of love
Mare Martell 
