Not a shrinking violet
Or scared to use her voice
Like a maestro with an instrument
She delivered courageous joy
Dire situations didn’t daunt her
A guidon in a hurricane
although the grim did haunt her
Fear forgot her name
Not a shrinking violet
Or scared to use her voice
Like a maestro with an instrument
She delivered courageous joy
Dire situations didn’t daunt her
A guidon in a hurricane
although the grim did haunt her
Fear forgot her name
I am too old to be considered youthful
Yet, I’m a child, still wet-behind-the-ears
I’ve lived a life precariously truthful
But still, I’ve yet to see all of my years.
I have been as close to death as dust
But I still don’t know it by its common name
I have gifted dirges to those I’ve loved
A place in my heart they’ve claimed
If I’m blessed to live an entire century,
I hope that I won’t sit alone by the window
Waiting for those I love to learn too late they love me.
I’d languish for their amity, my companion, my shadow
There is a certain reverence to a life lived unfurled
The spiral tapestries of the lessons learned
Woven back upon itself briefly, beautifully curled
Love and joy have always been the life for which I’ve yearned
I know I didn’t fall from grace
But I am here,
Looking in the mirror
Staring at your face
Where once in unison our hearts beat
I couldn’t wait to share
My life stories laid bare
Somehow, now, I feel defeat
The connection that I had
With you has released
The distancing increased
It is neither good nor bad
It is what it was created to be
It’s darker now than ever it was
I cannot feel you in my blood
A monument of a you and I; “we”
I am repulsed by the weight of my skin
As if my every breath is a sin
Emotional trauma’s affection
Dissociative disconnection
Grappling a height I’ll never climb
For long ago, I was left behind
Every step I’ve made, I’ve done alone
Bitterness in my haunted bones
Illusions of love, of commitment, of joy
Are rotting with lies set to destroy
At times, I believe, I will rise above
That I will know peace of the mythical dove
But the curtain falls and the show is done
And I realize I have never won
I’ve stepped in line with my own path
Which cost me relationships in its wrath
But choices made were neither bad nor good
But all were made from a basic falsehood
That I was never good enough no matter how I tried
So, you see, I murdered her, so that I could live and thrive
The lazy green-brown water giggling silver in the breeze
Aglow with the pure enjoyment of the heated evening
Sunset birthing the cotton-candy dusk, reducing the trees
To royal purple mascots of the Blue Heron’s seating
A fish flashes rainbow-sided far from the shore
A nearly silent explosion of prismatic rain
Relishing mosquitoes and dragonflies galore
Survival the only and longest campaign
I am the fairest in the land
I will not grant you to hold my hand
Women weep and lords they kneel
So taken are they by my appeal
I am a hunter, true, by trade
But that is not where my fortune’s made
For none can compare to my majesty
For those left behind me, it’s a tragedy
while wandering eve in forest’s thicket
the dusking chorus of chirping crickets
I leaned over the pool so clear and still
I heard the song of whippoorwill
Taken was I by the vision I saw there
With bright green eyes and curly hair
Immediately I fell head over heels
Born-again with religious zeal
I had finally met my illustrious mate
The vision fading as it grew late
I fitfully slept on the water’s edge
Praying not some sortilege
At morning star, I approached the shore
Gazing with beloved ardour
And there reflected so I could see
The most beautiful creature I’ve ever seen
But every time I attempted to touch the hand
Ripples destroyed us like a reprimand
I beat my chest in furious pounds
Wrecking the forest with ferocious sounds
I wept to be kept from whom I truly desired
My chest turned purple, my loins afire
So intense was my love that I wasted away
And a flower with my name is known to this day
Narcissus, they say at my beauty unmatched,
Your vanity, your curse, will not be dispatched.
Trombone sliding around trumpets
Ole blue eyes and Crosby balladering
Loudly enough on the hi-fi to be heard in the kitchen
Cinnamon and nutmeg joined in chorus
Butter whipped with rich brown sugar
Sunshine egg yolks breaking out of their shell
Clouds of flour rising with surprised impudence
and vanilla competing with cocoa
(depending on the recipe)
Blended, folded, mixed, stirred
always in time to the metranome of music
Oven preheated, we hand our offerings into its maw
Patience.
All dishes are washed. All surfaces cleaned.
Attend to the hopeful gifts being transformed
Dusting, vacuuming, beds long made
Wait while the trumpet solo reaches cresendo
Patience.
With the ring of the timer, we engage our success
while Big Bands and Crooners celebrate with us
Moonlight ignites the open shore
Heroic lives are no more
Ballads sung of victories won
will mist away in morning sun
Still, the waves continue on
The sword declaring, “It is done.”
Forgetful kisses of water and sand
Corpses recovered to the land
Formidible fortress now is silent
Peace ironic after the violence.
The atmosphere is filled with fear
While the scythe swings deathly near
Labored breathing, barely there
Scars of battles warn: Beware!
The flies swarm round like vultures keening
Recycled life of profound meaning
The Otherwhere claims the tiny soul
Regret is mine for the life I stole
Soul Pool
I have existed for eons before I was born
As a descendant of my womenfolk
Who have cradled me within their wombs
Nurturing my spirit they have always known
Just as I know them in my aging, dusty carcass
Animated by their tribal songs that lent me their breath
Extending their pneuma into my mortality
Anointing me with collective wisdom as my inheritance
Courage emblazoned like a scarlet letter;
ushered in with fiercest loyalty
Resilience bestowed as an endowment of hope
Strength of a champion intrinsically passed down
I am born again and again, basking in the immortality
Reveling in the joyful victories of lives well lived
Lamenting the horrors and pains that are birthed;
And rebirthed, and again
I am my mother’s eyes, my grandmother’s faith,
My great-grandmother’s charm,
my great-great-grandmother’s muscle memory
I am because of their willingness to grant me
This Soul Pool in which I float and swim
An Independent Nondiscriminatory Platform With No Religious, Political, Financial, or Social Affiliations - FOUNDED 2014
Life is a patchwork of moments — laughter, solitude, everyday joys, and quiet aches. Through scribbled stories, I explore travels both far and inward, from sunrise over unfamiliar streets to the comfort of home. This is life as I see it, captured in ink and memory. Stick around; let's wander together.
Hosanna High Community Burial Project
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