Life at this point: LATP

WOW! What a whirlwind of life happens when I’m living on purpose. I’m reporting happiness so deep and vivid it’s nearly cartoonish in appearance. And somehow, in the absurdity, I find myself joyous with delight.

It might be because my job brings me personal satisfaction. I find myself looking forward to caring for my clients as if they were my own relatives. I strive to be helpful, kind, compassionate, and productive. My boss has done everything possible to make my life good. I’m grateful for the work.

My house is as cute as the day I moved in back in February. I am meeting all points of joy in my life. I only wish to add to my happiness. Anything that doesn’t belong gets evacuated to new homes. An ongoing process that I delight in daily.

I know I promised to read through my bookshelf, but I haven’t found much time. I’d rather put my energy into joyous living. I am deeply satisfied with this even if I can’t keep my promise to you.

I came across an old play I wrote that was angry, vicious, and unforgiving. I do plan on modifying it according to my contemporary views, but even as I write this, I realize it may not be a promise I’ll keep. More like a wild flight of fancy; a dream

My neighbor got adopted by a mama kitty who had a litter of three kittens. One went missing and the other two they decided to keep. The gray male kitten liked to come lay on my porch in my chair. He’d knock at my door if he wanted loving.

I heard my neighbor come home.

“How are the kittens doing?” I hollered through the bushes.

“They go in to get fixed on the 4th (or 5th)” She lamented. “I don’t know why they scheduled it out so far. Do you know how hard it is to keep those babies inside?” She sounded exasperated.

“I sure wish it were sooner too. I miss Smokey.” I declared.

I’ll be dipped if she didn’t go into the house and bring out my little gray cat friend. He wasn’t okay with being forced into a hold but once he saw me, he burst into happy purrs, pushing his head against my hand. Her small act gave me such joy.

Several years ago, I wrote a bit about how much I hated Tennessee. My opinion has had a dramatic turn. Now I feel as if I’m finally home. Who in the world would think that I could deserve to be this happy?

I’m struggling with that right now. My sense of self has been so torn down over time that I’m not really sure what I want to be when I grow up. I think I’ll stick with loving kindness for now and see what happens.

I keep hesitating to post this, I feel cautious trepidation. I feel like this has a lame ending. Well, here goes nothing.

Missing a part

I want to write.

I want to fill the pages

with clever words and phrases,

instead, I (not so clever),

watch blathering fingers

mutely tapping the keys

lingering (commas and words) (READ: lingering commas and words in parentheses)

vanishing before first light

Remains of a rooster

I miss his cocky crow

The bluejay cried raw mutation

I reached out to Mr. Uncle.

Exchanges of acceptance abound

Once again I am enough.

Clandestine light sneaks up

Bright and telling speaking in birdsongs

Lemon lime leaves glimmer gold-ly.

Crimson hunter green staccato

Birds dance raining firey blazes through greying skies

Frogs begin their hopeful litany

Echo reverberated air carried gunfire punctuation

Midnight sable presses against my legs and hands.

Dark moon raising diesel-like rumbles

Equinox

Where once the grass is flooded green

now the colors changed the scene

the sky is gray the air is chill

flowers no longer on my windowsill

Queen Anne’s Lace or dead daisies smiling

thistle spurned their purple beguiling.

The cornflowers nod their tired heads

getting ready for Winters bed

Goldenrod has turned to Green

to match the seasons changing scene

Fairy circles closing ranks

singing hymns of praise and thanks

Blessed am I to shiver the chill

As autumnal turns the spinning wheel

That Never Was

I spent my life grieving “The child that never was”.

Rarely allowing, myself, a moniker of love

The betrayal of trust is the haunt of one’s nights

Ill-conceived approval, the destruction of rights

“Woulda!”, “Coulda!”, “Shoulda!” the resounding call

Destiny changed course, within the demon’s maw

Every Day Magic

Add yours in the comments:

Finding a close parking spot when you’re tired or sore

Being the open face someone needs to tell secrets to on a bus, in the grocery, in a bathroom stall

Arriving on time no matter how far you’re running behind

Seeing omens in everyday items and heeding them

Showing up in an empty store and watch the people magnet to it while the confused staff has to hustle to catch up.

Having just enough stamps

Never missing a bus

Hitting an airline connection just right so there is no layover after all

Invisibility (Linda Looney)

I am an invisible person.

I’m sure you’ll disagree

But you’ve been well versed in

How to visualize me.

Maybe scorch-eye my belly

Disapprove my thickened thighs

Look down your nose at me ready

to allow me to be humanized

then possibly you’ll witness me

Become familiar and un-stigmatized

Homing Sister

Sister, the wildflowers have grown tall in what once were ruts

tracing our roots back to our Goddess time bleeding

a dog path racing our boots back to the first greeting

Surprised at the ease of our friendship, I noticed

The wild grass has grown tall in what once bore dust

Weaving our roots together intimately intriguing

Spiritual Bath

Perfumed purification

anointed my skin

fragrant with absolution

My brethren

Blessed sisters;

Heart-bound lovers

Spirit-kin

My blood baptized

in the cistern of love

Forgiven to be human

The elation of redemption

damp against my brow

Dancing in broad circles

Breathless with abandon

the release of blissful beauty