Earthly constellations rise
to greet the humid summer skies
and kiss the clouds a fond goodbye
on their way to the stars.
The thickly perfumed breezes sigh
against the wheezing trees reprise
holy are we to canonize
a sacred heart like yours
Author Archives: Mare Martell
Throne
My throne near the top of the willow tree
where I could oversee
my kingdom that resounded
with mournful train chords
and springtime robin red-breast
Thin the veil between worlds
Of retrospection cursed not blessed
It’s like a perpetual bloodstain
With solidly placed blame
Thats removed quietly with disdain
Where “It’s just how they are” to
Invisibility of me to an entire crew.
But I’ll not allow their foolishness
Not in my kingdom where I am best
Where I’m more than bone deep
Better than the company they sheep.
Pass it onward!
Not Old Enough
I won’t mourn you while you’re still here making choices;
choices of where you’ll breathe last when the time comes
decisions that are yours, and only yours, to make. Always.
I will, however, laugh with you until you can’t any more.
I will support your choices, defending your life at its last.
You’re not old enough to go, but I know that’s not up to us.
I won’t mourn you while you’re here, but I will love you,
my friend, brother to my sister-in-heart, brother of my brother.
Pass it onward!
Nobody home
All my old haints are gone
The mem’ries still linger
I can show them I’ve won
But they’ll be ever ginger
Of believing and buying again
This deli counter binger
Too much body armor on
For the paper cut, on this, my finger
Pass it onward!
Reflecting pond
She cut off the braids with the fiery fierceness of a warrior god
Watching them fall to the floor after bouncing off the sink
That drips splitsch! splatch!
Summers past are discarded,
her power regained
Never again heard,
a bitter voice that curs-ed name
Pass it onward!
TW: I never screamed
I never screamed
Not once
Because he said not to
And IF I did then horrible things would happen.
I couldn’t imagine anything worse
The white pain,
the daggers scorch,
the bloody days raw
But still to come?
No pun intended?
I just left, sometimes for days, before
Crawling down the walls on tippy tips before
She awakens.
Pass it onward!
MX (EM ex) Mare Martell
I’m no longer going to title myself with Mrs. or Miss or Ms. I’m not even going to impose myself on my brothers at arms standing tall in the Mister world. I’m claiming Mx. I’m setting my feet firmly on the label.
It’s the most commonly used gender neutral moniker used; where the x represents a wildcard. It’s the key to a freedom that I’ve desired since thinking about my gender in the sixth grade and feeling like I needed to be a boy, but not understanding the rejection I felt from the one person I trusted to tell at that age.
I’m not a man caught in a woman’s body. I thought of that for quite a while as well. I have several people that I love dearly who are transitioning between the worlds. It awakened a questioning that I didn’t even realize was there. It made me consider whether I was just a human without gender or am I something that I’ve dreamed about? Am I a Dude? (In the Big Lebowski way, YES I am, because this Dude Abides!) Would I feel more like me or less like me if I were to present as a more neutral gender or more masculine? What would my husband think? Despite those very difficult questions and hours more, I realized I’m a woman that rarely thinks of being one or anything really. I’m human and that’s good enough for me.
I saw this:
I had just had the conversation with my husband about me wanting to use Mr. instead of Mrs. or Ms. or Miss. I explained that I’d seen a Twitter meme where it pointed out that where a man’s title doesn’t change, the woman’s titles are only pointing to how they are related to the closes man in her life. I didn’t like the taste of that bitterness in my conscience which is where the entire thought process began.
May I give a special acknowledgement to Terran Gray who’s gentle support while I struggled to decide where I stand roiled around inside me. They never once made me feel as if I were weird or out of place any more than usual ( 🙂 ) Their kindness and compassion even when I was asking some pretty deep questions were nothing short of a blessed boone. I wish them nothing but the very best in any endeavor they choose. Someone that beautiful in this world is a rarity and I am grateful.
This is where I am in my life. No excuses. No guts. All the glory!
Pass it onward!
Publicly Primal
I want to violate you by releasing my raw primal rage
A bonfire of hatred emblazoned in my silent chest awaiting birth
The “Flesh your heart” punishment of original sin, raped
The mundane act of typing the violation of my rights
as a human. as a woman. as FIFTY ONE PERCENT of totality
while you prognosticate fodder for the war machine
I defiantly consider all acts of subjugation as Slavery of Women
When I’m no longer terrified of how I will sound unrestrained,
You will no longer exist other than in history as bad apples
bitter seeds of spill on the dirt floors of the prisons you built
for me
but will not hold this.
Pass it onward!
Blues for Children
I wear our Blues to the table that tucks my knees against the underside
Because I’ve witnessed what we’re leaving for them, legacies of lies.
I’ve sat at the table, the children’s table, minding them for far too long
I’ve heard their tired voices arguing about who’s right or wrong.
They are not my future, but they are yours without a doubt.
You should sit and listen to the children’s table, so change can come about
They see blue as hopeful, I think, but only as hopeful as the Blues
We have gone and lost them a costly sum of what it means to choose.
Pass it onward!
My Dear Friend
From your loyal heart, I have embraced devotion.
In a moment of melting, you prop me up with support
From your eyes streaming laughter I feel honored with joy
Your generous spirit shares your time with mindfulness
Your acceptance of my human complexity raises the bar.
Your friendship grants me a better life because we “US”
As you give so shall I, never to balance always to grow
Mare Martell 