Author Archives: Mare Martell
Podcast Episode: Healing, Power, And Self-Reclamation
Pip: Mare Martell writes like someone who has decided, very firmly, that shrinking is for wool sweaters.
Mara: Today we're covering two territories that turn out to be the same conversation from different angles — what it looks like to take up space on your own terms, and what it sounds like to refuse to give that space back under pressure.
Pip: Let's start with the case for expansion.
Self-Expression And Taking Up Space
Mara: The question both posts in this segment are circling is deceptively simple: what happened to the version of you that had no rules about how much room she was allowed to occupy?
Pip: Take up Space answers that directly. Here is the line that does the most work: "You were meant to be loud; to take up the space stolen from you by those who fear your wealth of experience and wisdom."
Mara: And the consequence is right there in the next sentence — words like old, crone, bitch get reframed not as insults but as tools of containment. The post is saying the vocabulary used against you was engineered to keep you small.
Pip: Which is a fairly efficient piece of social criticism dressed up as a pep talk.
Mara: Retrieve the Wild Woman traces how that containment gets installed in the first place. It maps the stages — girlhood, tweens, dating age, marriage — as a sequence of rule changes, each one narrowing what's permitted. By adulthood, the post argues, the Wild Woman is still there, just floating along behind, staring at the mud puddles.
Pip: The mud puddle as existential metaphor is doing a lot of heavy lifting, and honestly it earns it.
Mara: The post also cites a National Science Foundation figure — that people average over fifty thousand thoughts a day — to make the point that even ten thoughts about you amounts to 0.02 percent of someone's mental real estate. The worry about what others think costs you far more than it costs them.
Pip: So the math of self-consciousness is terrible and you should stop doing it.
Mara: That's essentially the argument, yes. Both posts land on permission — not permission granted by anyone else, but the kind you extend to yourself. Which is where the next segment picks up, because permission is a different thing entirely when it's being actively withheld.
Survivor Healing And Resistance
Mara: NO MORE is a poem written for a Clothesline Project event at a domestic violence crisis center, and it names its targets plainly from the first line — not victims, but the systems and people that tolerate violence and silence survivors.
Pip: The poem earns its title by repeating it as a refrain that builds. Here is the turn where it shifts from apology to declaration: "I won't lay prostate on the canvas and beg forgiveness for a sin I didn't commit but HE did. No. I won't do that. No More!"
Mara: What that shift means in practice is a formal refusal of the guilt transfer — the mechanism by which survivors get prosecuted in the court of public opinion while perpetrators get released back into the world. The poem names that directly: "while you sat in judgment of MY actions and MY life, He repeated his offensive on a sister and a wife."
Pip: That is not metaphor. That is a documented pattern described in plain verse.
Mara: The poem moves through several registers — grief, fury, irony — but it ends in collective voice. It closes by expanding from "I am one woman and I count" outward to "We are women whose light cannot be dimmed," building to a call-and-response that was clearly written to be spoken aloud in a room full of people who needed to hear it together.
Pip: There is a difference between a poem you read and a poem that is asking you to stand up while you read it. This one is the second kind.
Mara: And it connects back to everything the first segment was building toward — the Wild Woman who was told to step around the puddle, the woman told to stay small, eventually finding a voice loud enough to say the words that matter.
Pip: Taking up space and refusing to give it back — those turn out to be the same act at different moments in the same life.
Mara: Next time, we'll see what other territory that life covers.
Cloth Worth Weaving

We brought our screaming demons to heel
Our human bonds illuminate our immortal shields
Our roots run deep in Appalachian dead
Earned by laughter,
tears,
and broken bread
The Fates have granted the brightest path left
Deeply, clearly woven, in waft and weft
Intricate dances of prismatic threads
Bedecked in a wardrobe from deep riverbeds
Created with magic from circles of trust
The sacred chalice untarnished by rust
The Living Altar of each human’s being
Covenant together a future farseeing
Confidential
For the first time in my adult life, I am wearing a tankini with a big fluffy skirt over it and my belly is hanging out. I didn’t go swimming, but I am wearing my swimsuit. At first, I was a little nervous, but then I trust myself in the confidence of a balding, middle-aged man who is talking about his Jesus and how women need to be submissive. And I’ve walked around town, not giving a fuck.


BTW: Today is my Bestie’s birthday. I’m celebrating her in all her wonder. She is so very human and so authentic to her spirit it would be the biggest challenge not to admire her.

Estella-TAMP
Tragedy marked her life
Grief visited often for wine
Patience held her hand
History lived in deep companionship
Her spirit permeated the room
With elegant; lady-like perfume.
Every greeting warmed fresh with loving heart,
delivered with compassionate hands.
Adventure called her naivety which she answered joyfully.
Even if she glimpsed her rear view mirror,
Her vision always focused on the road in front of her.
With resilient strength she held her line as long as she could
Con todo mi corazón, me muevo con mayor suavidad gracias a Estella Gomez del Campo.
with my whole heart, I move more gently because of Estella Gomez del Campo
Part 2: Plot twist Pickles
OK in the previous article I gave you a pictorial of my latest adventure. It’s been two days since the pickles have been put in the crock.



And here is the video review:
My Timing is Perfekt

I found a pretty simple looking recipe for pear wine at: CommonSenseHome. The tips were helpful and it looks like something I might have a hard time messing up. I began amassing the ingredients.
I put the first batch of pears up to ripen on the porch. I turned them daily. The tiny imperfections that I’d overlooked deepened in color, spreading like a bad relationship across the surface. I had to rethink my strategy.
I’ll purchase the pears! Two 3-pound bags of pears delivered to my door. With greedy anticipation, I waited. Alas, they only had one 3-pound bag available with no substitutions. Abuh.
Adjust the sails! Farmers market before a 10 am service? Sure thing. I dress for the occasion:



Did you know that pears in East Tennessee come into season primarily in September. Did you know that I lost track of time for several months and learned it today? Thwarted, but not without hope. Now what?
I recently gained access to the family recipes from my client’s deceased mother. She had many duplicates of the same recipe for two-day pickles. I read it several times as I sorted through the recipes enough that I felt confident enough to buy pickling cucumbers and I like onions so I bought enough to make a gallon of brine.

Crap. No dill. Good thing I had onions? Onward!



Now we wait. That was quite a few switchbacks to arrive at pickles from pear wine. Such is life. I’ll update when I’ve tested the goods.
I confess, I’m not typically one to experiment with an untested recipe, but no grits, no glory, right? Right?!
Narcissus
I am the fairest in the land I will not grant you to hold my hand Women weep and lords they kneel So taken are they by my appeal I am a hunter, true,…
Narcissus

Witness
I will be your witness.
I, but a casual name to your kin,
will hold you truly and dearly,
cherish deeply the breaths
Between ideas, ideology, and emotions
That I have been honored to share with you.
With the reverence afforded a blessing
I will weep for the absence
of your knowledge
severed by inevitable occasion
Master to servant
Teacher to student
Friendship entertained
with portions communal
A time of Kairos inspected.
The right, critical, or opportune moment
To bring witness and testimony of you
To the level of intimacy you’ve granted.
I love you
I’m an Unitarian Universalist . My decision to fully support the values and vision of the faith have allowed me to explore wisdom from multiple perspectives, sources, beliefs, and experiences that I wouldn’t otherwise have come to comprehend, much less understand.
I found it necessary before I even knew about UU, to excavate my spirit from decades of teachings that told me I was not worthy of love, much less the love of God or a man, or another human for that matter.
Everything I relished or enjoyed was a punch-mark on my ticket to hell. I was convinced because I read a book about the rapture when I was in my early teens that told me exactly where I was headed.
I believed that for every sin I committed (or the heft of the sins committed against me) that I needed to make amends by attending the most churchy church I could find.
I threw myself into the world of a bake sale/ choir singing/ hands raised/ head bowed/ lunch with the pastor and his wife kind of church life.
My hands were busy, but my spirit was abandoned under the stairs. I sang loudest (not well either) but didn’t feel safe asking questions because that meant I doubted my faith, right?
Disillusioned by the God that never answered my prayers. The God who judged me for my father’s sins that never quite washed away during baptism. But instead replaced the S.A. at the hands of my father with the understanding that it was God’s will or that I was somehow was so irresistible that my purpose was solely to please others.
My voice got louder but I remained silent because it was MY job to protect others at all costs, even to my detriment. It was MY job to make daddy feel better after he fought with my mother. It was MY job to protect everyone but myself. I was well groomed and damned by default.
I concluded that there wasn’t a God at all. How could there be? And if there was, why would the horrors I witnessed even exist? Why did I exist? What purpose could that possibly serve?
Finding Unitarian Universalism quietly granted permission to ask big questions. It allowed me to have an eclectic understanding of love in every form throughout the rich history of my faith.
The main draw for me has been Love at the center. I learned to love myself because others showed me how. I learned to be vulnerable, ridiculous, compassionate, generous with time, and kind without ridicule or judgement from or for others.
My heart felt bursting with joy, love, and a peace that had been fleeting before. I brought my enthusiasm, my passions, my courage, and laughter. I brought welcomed willing hands. I found my people; I’d finally found my soul home.
I felt safe, comfortable, and finally living not just surviving. Sometimes I’d let myself into the sanctuary (perks of leadership in the church) and just sit in the quiet where my soul received comfort. I could feel what I felt but without shame. I felt love/d.
A catastrophic failure of healthy communication skills led to my removal from all positions of leadership which in turn caused my secession from my family and community.
Because of that, the trajectory that I’d been planning for, working towards, sacrificing things I loved for , went POOF! 💨
I am allowing myself space. I granted myself permission to exhibit my emotions when I feel them, not only in private. I’m allowing myself to be compassionate with myself, fiercely loyal to my peace, and to revel in the joy of not knowing everything.
Most importantly, I’m holding my people in my heart because my covenant remains steadfast to the UU values based on the Law of Love. My loyalty is given freely to those I’ve comforted, uplifted, broke bread with, cried with, created with, laughed with, celebrated, connected with and mourned beside. Love is always the answer. Love is always the right choice.
Being a Unitarian Universalist is the heart of my love. It is sacred and unwavering. Nobody has the power to erase me again for I am beloved.
