


I will end this post with a disgustingly funny story.
After breakfast and walking around for a couple of hours, I had to “Take a Meeting” in the worst way. The map showed the facilities all the way at the back of the park. Uh, no can do muchacho, so I exited the Tropical Botanical Gardens doing the “Not yet” dance.
I made it down a cobblestone street, turned the corner and was met with so many people. Good hell, that was a lot of people. The cool part is, I heard so many different languages being spoken that it almost made me weep with gratitude. So many people.
I found a Starbucks! Hooray! The sign said bathrooms were upstairs. I can do this. I got up there and there was a keypad that you have to enter the code to get in. CRAP! Well, not yet anyway. Someone was coming out, so I went in. Both rooms were filled (Their bathrooms are actual little rooms, not stalls). I was really doing the dance when a woman came out of the men’s bathroom. She said nothing to me, didn’t wash her hands either come to think of it.
I got in the room, locked the door, dropped trou, and took my meeting which took a bit. I looked over and the toilet paper roll is empty. WHA?!?! Uh oh. I searched frantically for something, but there was nothing to be found. WAIT! I have tissues in my purse! Hooray!
Damn it! I took them out to make room for something else. I took out my google translator, turned it on to Portugese, typed in “Help! There isn’t any toilet paper in here!” (Ajuda! Não há papel higiênico). I played it every time I heard a voice outside the door, but nobody came.
Well, I considered my socks, but I’m not a fan of how my feet feel in my shoes without them. I thought of the nylon shopping bag but that grossed me out worse (It’s a GOOD BAG!) I even considered using a paper Euro. Oh yes, I did think about it, but no. When I visited the breakfast place and the botanical garden, they gave me receipts for my purchases. Ahoy! Solution.
I removed the staples from the three receipts I had. Four pieces of paper. Well, better than nothing. After much work, I was able to finish the paperwork. Dudes, keep the damn tissues with you. I went out, washed my hands, warned the next person, got some napkins, returned to the bathroom, made sure I did a good job.
When I told the women at the counter the situation, the one woman asked me how I got out of it. I told her. She laughed. They gave me an employee discount for my purchase, and you better damn well believe, I took that receipt! (P.S. The tissues are back in my bag.)
May peace be with you wherever you are or go. You are loved!









































