[DARK HUMOR ALERT]

As we enter the holiday season, there’s a new album that’s dropped and it’s AWFUL! I don’t think I’ve ever heard anything worse than this. Whatever you do, don’t listen to any of it. You’ll instantly regret it. The Hits keep coming.

At The Speed of What The Farts (Radio Edit)
Winter GTFO

1. Dead Starter Blues
   a. Sample Lyric: “Gonna take everything in my account, have to empty that dog out.”
2. Dying Dog (Euthenasia)
   a. Sample Lyric: “She’s thirteen years old and blind as a bat, she can’t hear her name and she’s fading fast.”
3. Bed Bug Boogie
   a. Sample Lyric: “I got welty itch from my head to my toes, that’s how the bedbug boogie goes.”
4. Bitterness and Regret
   a. Sample Lyric: “The ailing heart showed up at my door, catheterized on the hospital floor.”
5. Monkey on His Back
   a. Sample Lyric: “All my cash went up my nose, what I have left is my dirty clothes.”
6. So Many Leftovers, Nothing to Eat
   a. Sample Lyric: “I’ve had so much corn chowder it waves hello, and warms up again for another go.”
7. Delerium
   a. Sample Lyric: “Nine days have taken their toll on his brain. He now sounds like he’s not sane.”
8. The Boot
   a. Sample Lyric: “Broken foot, faulty hip, growing old can kiss my grits.”
9. Never Ending Gray
   a. Sample Lyric: “My love, the sun has gone away, I hope to see it again someday.”
10. The Darkest Christmas Tree
    a. Sample Lyric: “This tree will never win awards until I find the farting extension cords.”
11. Presence
    a. Sample Lyric: “Stuffs wrapped and under the tree, wondering who is there for me.”
12. Shitty Ditty
    a. Sample Lyric: “Waking up in the middle of the night, discovering my fart took liquid flight.”
13. (BONUS TRACK) Cold Friends
    a. Sample Lyric: “They used to laugh and joke a lot, but now they’re in a wooden box.”
    
14. AUTHOR’S NOTES:
    This is written in originally Comic Sans for the simple reason that it’s an awful font. Everything on this “album” has happened during the past month to me or to my Bestie.