TRIGGER WARNING: You had no idea
By this time, I was already being taught horrible things; I was six in this picture.
I don’t think you could possibly have meant
For me to return from where I rose my ascent
I was broken, abused, nearly destroyed
All because my father didn’t want to take away my “new toy.”
I held secrets so dark that nobody could love me
Not that way, not no way, not even the slightest possibility.
At fifteen I had not recognized the horrors I’d seen
At fifteen I hadn’t even realized it was safe to breathe
Although the constant abuse had stopped a decade earlier
It didn’t take much to re-abuse me, just be a little squirrelier.
I ran around raw as if chained to a razor blade
The slightest momentum and I’d dive back into my shade
The fears that accosted me, drove me wild with anguish
It took me a quarter century, those demons to finally vanquish.
No, I don’t think you would have, if you’d known what it means
To return to the age of fragility, loss of innocence, the unclean.