Tag Archives: betrayal

Desiderate

I feel an animosity towards time

It proceeds without caution,

barreling through individual’s lives

destruction and creation embodied

A shallow dagger tattooing memories

in a word.

I swallow in lusty gulps the mana

that ever and again poisons me

with child-like misplaced trust

of the perpetuation of consistency

bathed in my blissful ignorance

in a word.

It’s not enough to hold resentment

towards the testament of our days,

nor is it a hobby to be taken frivolously

It is neither good nor evil,

but yet it commonly holds the dichotomy

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times”

Or so the story goes

in a word.

Reflections, on Travel Insurance

My apologies for leaving you in the lurch. It’s taken me a bit of time to get settled back into my real life.

I’ve been battling the insurance company that I bought my trip insurance from because they’re refusing to cover the repairs on my face even though I was injured on my trip. Turns out that the moment I set foot on American soil, my insurance was gone. I still need to have my nose set, my teeth fixed, and I’m uncertain about the break under my left eye. But, according to them, I’m on my own.

I thought I was being responsible. I thought I was making a good choice. I thought I was protecting myself in the event that something happened. I never expected to have to use it. I bought the policy after much deliberation, research, and conversations with fellow travelers. Be prepared and all that.

What they failed to mention is that if you’re injured on your trip, you have to get it taken care of right then and there. No waiting until you get home even if that’s what the doctor says because of the recovery time. You have to give up a part of your trip to get it taken care of when it happens. AND you pay out of pocket up front which they will reimburse you for afterwards. I haven’t tested that theory yet, but I’m going to guess by the way I’ve already been treated that it’s going to be a million hoops to jump through to get that back in my pocket.

I felt and feel betrayed, disgusted, and ripped off. I thought I’d be taken care of. I thought I was protected. I was but am not now.

Would I tell someone else to buy trip insurance? No I would not. It’s a pretty good scam. You’d be better off putting that money into savings in the event, Dude forgive, you need it. I would not do that again because the peace of mind I had is now a chunk out of my pocketbook. It’s not worth it.

In case you’re wondering, I bought the policy through AAA. Allianz Assistance USA is where the policy came from. They’ll gladly take your money but if you need follow up care, you’re on your own. I wouldn’t trust Allianz ever again. AAA even pled my case to them because my agent was astounded at their refusal. She didn’t get anywhere either.

May peace be with you wherever you are or go. You are loved (but not by Allianz).

Fifty year drought

babydoll

I had a baby.

Her name didn’t/doesn’t matter.

She lay in her stroller with her arms outstretched.

I smiled down at her, cooing gentle words of love.

I swaddled her a bit tighter against the chill.

As each car passed on the nearly vacant street,

I’d sing a little louder so they’d know I was a mom.

It’s all I ever wanted to be.

INTERLUDE

The MMR wasn’t created when I was born.

When my brother came along and got his,

nobody thought to inoculate me.

At twelve years old, my throat and neck hurt so badly.

My mom gave me a dill pickle (LOVE THEM) but I couldn’t swallow.

Diagnosis: The mumps.

Aged and married: Clomid, Pergonal, temperatures, acne, painful periods,

nothing. nothing. nothing.

Failed adoption. Ectopic miscarriage, failed adoption

GUARDIANSHIP x two!

Rejected for violence. Rejected for drugs.

nothing. nothing. nothing.

PART TWO

ultrasound

You can’t possibly know how many times I’ve been gracious,

how many times I’ve oohed and aah-ed over black gray blobs

What it’s like to see beautiful mothers holding their beautiful babies

while my arms hold back my sadness, my longing, my relief.

I’m not resentful that they have my dreams wrapped in their love.

I’m not angry that their wishes came true. I’m not even upset.

PART THREE

birth-control-1

Am I less than a woman for not showing proof of fertility?

Am I less than a woman for my body’s refusal to carry life?

I feel betrayed each time blood flows from my barren womb.

All of the pain, emotions, heating pads, and carb stuffing…for what?

Another reminder that I’m not like the others. Another storm trooper miss.