Tag Archives: being human

Day Twenty-Four, Chores

I was given notice yesterday that the place I’m staying is currently up for sale. The realtor would be popping by to show the place today, would I mind? Uh, well…since I have no real choice in the matter and I feel like refusing would jeopardize my current arrangement, Yeah, sure! A while later I was messaged with a Whoops, sorry. Rescheduled to next week.

Five flights of stairs is not a lot in the grand scheme of things, but I’m fat and tend to be sedintary if not motivated to accomplish a task. Hey, I come by it honestly, my mother is the same way! The idea of dragging anything up and down those stairs sincerely makes me consider exactly what I’ll need to do once I get down the stairs (THAT’s no problem).

  • Take out recycling (Google image translate informs me that it’s on the ground floor)
  • Take out the trash (Also on the ground floor)
  • Do a load of laundry including towels (Ground floor and over two doors)
  • Pick up some groceries (.2 miles away is the Monoprix Hypermarket)
  • Get nail clippers and hand lotion (Pharmacie across the street)

I double/triple checked that I had all my dirty clothes and towels loaded into my handy buggy. I got the trash out of the can, tied off the bag and put that on top of the dirty clothes, securing the slide. I put the recycling bag handles over the buggy handles. Double/triple check, yup. That’s everything.

Grabbed my bag and keys, unlocked the door from the inside with the key… Pulled my buggy into the dark hallway, locked the door with the same key I used to open it from the inside…Open the stairwell doors and descend.

Down to the lobby where there are three doors. One goes to the outside. One doesn’t open. One reveals a storage area with a closed door off to the right. I open it because it will and I found the trash bins! Hooray!

I didn’t see a place for the recycling to go until after I’d dropped it into the cans I’d found. It was behind another closed door. Dudes, I thought about correcting my error, but truthfully, I was grateful I even found the trash bins.

I am not a graceful person. I’m large but unaware of my size most of the time. I don’t feel like I’m a size 20. In my head, I’m much smaller. I could be reading more into it than is necessary, but it’s rather magnified over here.

As I’m in the grocery store, shopping by picture, guessing at words, refusing to translate because I’d have to translate the entire store, I felt an ineptitude that I’m not a fan of feeling. It really snaps my awareness into a clarity about what it could feel like to be illiterate. I’m practically mute because although I can say simple things like please, thank you, good day, I’m sorry and my numbers, I’m ridiculously unable to do things I take for granted back home.

I’ve observed that the people I’ve interacted with have primarily spoken more than one language. They have at least a rudimentary conversational base which I am lacking in their native tongue. I feel small here. As if I could be quickly and easily forgotten. I want so badly to communicate, to let them (whomever that may be) know I exist. Maybe I’m like Ariel, wishing to be a part of a world that doesn’t belong to me. Perhaps.

Why did you get the emotional roller-coaster? It turns out that the laundromat is slightly different than the one I used before. I tried to will my brain to translate the words into ones I could understand, for some of them it did, but not enough to know what the hell I was doing. I didn’t ask for help. I just stared at the sign, trying to make sense of the symbols.

A young man, maybe 22-24, asked me in accented English if I were going to be staying long in France. Yes, until the end of the month. He suggested getting a laundry card and loading it. Instead of paying 4 Euros per wash, I’d only pay 3 Euro 60. Well, heck. That’s a pretty darn good deal. I followed his instructions. Voila! I have a loaded laundry card.

An hour for a wash. Yikes. I toddled across the street to the pharmacie, found nail clippers but no lotion. The woman behind the corner kept trying to engage me by asking me questions in French. I smiled and nodded, thank you I said. I tried to explain that I needed a small bottle of hand lotion. She stared back at me with an equally blank look on her face. I felt a little better. I relented and pulled out the translator (Why aren’t babbelfish a real thing?) A bit of back and forth and I tucked my purchases into my pocket-bag.

I’m reading a book by Jenny Swartz. Freddie Nechtow gave me the book “The House That Walked Between Worlds” and I finished that three book series. Now I’m on a new adventure by the author. Maybe it’s because of what I described earlier about illiteracy, but I don’t typically read for fun any more. I like to get lost in the world the author created. I like to ride the emotional pony around the imaginary carousel. It takes up a significant chunk of time which is why it’s not something I readily do. However, I sure am popping them back like illicit drugs trying to get a reader’s high. I returned to the laundromat and read.

After my clothes were dry, I folded them and stacked them compactly into the bottom of the buggy. I headed off to the grocery. The weather was gorgeous out, if not even a wee bit warm. But the sun, the people, the neighborhood feel of Mondeville created a sense of being. It was good.

I arrived at the store, picked through the aisles, collected my necessities, checked out, loaded up my buggy, and walked back a different route.

What steps I have traveled on roads
past tense and presently, 
altared;
a communion of daily lives
exalted as the fevered prayers
of the faithful
knelt in the pews with bowed heads
whispered words of conversations,
of confessions,
of wrong paths and right roads taken
A map to their righteousness
emblazoned on a rosary bead.
I sit in the silence, aware.
I wonder if their God would understand
if I spoke prayers in English.
I wonder if the forgiveness would
somehow taste different or
if the mercy would cold shower me
with a condemnation...
con-damnation?
Instead, I don't press my luck.
I return to the community I don't belong to
hearing the voice of the God
that doesn't speak my language.
MM 2023

I tugged the buggy up to the top floor. I unloaded the groceries then my clothes. I texted with my friend Jen who is currently in an inconvenient situation. I dozed for a bit, then woke up to tell you my eventful/uneventful day. Tomorrow I plan to go to church (at 4PM here) so, there will be plenty to do while I’m waiting.

Peace be with you wherever you go. You are loved!

Day Twenty-three, Back from Honfleur

I don’t know if it was the internet where I was or what the deal may have been, but it absolutely would not allow me to upload ANY pictures. In fact, it gave me an error today about pictures I’ve already posted. Murg.

But! I was beside myself with glee yesterday. The drive today was lovely. The air was just right coming in the window. The sun was shining and when I came up over a crest of a hill, it was like Brigadoon showing up in front of me. I “Oh, wow!”-ed outloud.

What a spirit-fulfilling day. I feel a deep sense of peace. I have a sense of a withdrawn/inclusion of self. I am not sure how to express what I’m feeling. I visited the leaning church (The outside pictures of the church are not from Saint-Jean, they’re from a church in Honfleur).

While inside I witnessed some faithful praying on bent knee or at the very least bent heads. I found pamphlets that described the veneration of the church’s saints. I previously shared about the artist that created the stained glass windows in the mid 60’s-late 70’s, they were richly crafted. Pictures can’t quite capture the look and effect of the sunshine dancing rainbows through the textured glass.

I sat outside the church in a paver topped park. I sat on the bench facing west. I could see the major bus routes converging nearby. I watched people walking in a variety of paces to various places. The dopplar of French voices waved over me as a bouquet of floral scented young women echoed passed by. The fashion went from snappy tan leather dress shoes beneath a cream-colored linen suit carefully styled with a khaki light colored trench coat to over the knee black leather boots and a slap of fabric covering the important parts in a striking red and a miniscule white tank shirt knotted at the front.

I watched a verbal fight break out between a man on an electric scooter and the driver of a car that I’m guessing drove too close to the scooter-rider. It was heated, loud, and two other men were holding back the torrent of imminent violence. With a bit of physicality from the protectors of the combatants, the rage dissipated in a poof of raised fingers.

I tugged my suitcase up the flights of stairs, which I now count in halfs to make it easier for my mind to accept the exercise, I unpacked my things, restored my sense of order and rested. This is a great day.

Peace be with you and follow you. You are loved!

Day Twenty-Two, Hiccup, Honfleur!

I’m pretty sure I can be the butt of a good cosmic joke. I know I was today. I was scheduled to pick up the mini-car at noon, last transaction before they close for two hours for lunch. They really do that. A LOT of places basically say “Piss off” for two hours. The car rental place was one of them.

I arrived on time, got all the paperwork started, got out my credit card that I JUST got the bill for that said I owed $0.00 because I paid it off before the trip. Apologies, a phone call to the bank, and it turns out the car place was charging me $5.47 over my limit. Oh for the love of Pete! It got my goat a bit because I’ve rented from this company before without a large deposit or anything. It was toot-sweet to do it which is why I did it this time.

The shop closed up and I kept at it until I found out what the issues were and resolved them. I waited for the lunch time to pass. I stopped in a bakery and got a croissant and a double espresso. I was people watching because I hit right before the lunch rush. It was fantastic. Directly across from the window where I sat watching was a mural with a smaller one next to it.

And what to my wondering eyes should appear?! But a CHICKEN!

It was to my delight that it was on a building that said “Climb Up!” Pathe’! didn’t translate.

I had to do something to kill time, so I took a couple of pictures of things I truly appreciate about Europe. The trains, the street signs, the walkways, bike lanes, hardly any potholes. Honestly, we have nothing on European transportation. They have it dang near mastered as far as I can tell.

One o’clock rolled around and I went down to wait by the closed rental place. I happened to meet a father and daughter from Minneapolis/St. Paul Minnesota! We chit-chatted for a bit, well I did. Silence just isn’t my game. I do it because I have to, but dude, ENGLISH! I take my language for granted so much. Every person I’ve spoken with, in some capacity, speaks more languages that the average American. That’s rather shameful considering we’re supposed to be global.

I let them go first because they had a tighter time frame than I did. I even told them about Miss Marge Swenson! Minnesota was her home state while she grew up. When it was my turn, the woman listened as I explained what the deal with my card was. With a bit of nip-and-tuck, she was able to complete the transaction completely smooth.

I was lead out to a Fiat 500 EV. No shit. Not only is it an electric vehicle, BUT it turned out to be an automatic! WOOT! She gave me the basics, including pushing a button to open the door…no. No latches, just a button. Could you imagine NOT being told that and trying to get out? Talk about a really stupid reason to call roadside assistance.

Because I got delayed by two hours, I had to kind of haul ass to make my check-in time and my appointment time. I was so intimidated by driving. I learned quickly that the moment you let off the accelerator in an EV, the speed drops pretty darned quick. It’s not like a hybrid that is similar to the gasoline engine I’m used to. Plus side, it was relatively easy to maintain speed.

Boy do they love round-abouts here. I can’t tell you how many I went through on my trip, but there were more than I’ve ever done before. They do keep the traffic moving pretty well overall. They’re not difficult to use, but they are a bit cumbersome the first go-round…ask me how I know. Facepalm!

I arrived in Honfleur at 3:40PM (1540). I met with the owner of the place I’m staying. It’s a charming home with paintings she did on the walls. There is a front room, a kitchen behind that, a spacious bathroom, and a soothing bedroom at the back of the apartment.

Her name is Sylvie. She clearly loves where she lives. The painting on the far left is her favorite of her work.

Off to my appointment I went after checking into the lovely home.

Once I found the studio, I went in the wrong door. I’m telling you, I mean well, but getting lost here is a thing. I found the right door and the woman named Mireille greeted me warmly. She brushed aside my apologies for my getting lost. She was listening to Oasis turned on low. She had a canvas on my side, a canvas on her side, so many colors, so many choices, so many brushes. Pardon me, but I practically drooled in anticipation.

She spoke a little English so we communicated mostly with pointing, exagerrated movements and, because we had paint on our hands, Siri. We painted and enjoyed each other. She showed me techniques that I hadn’t thought of but really were duh type of things. She encouraged highlights and lowlights. She was fiddling around on hers, showing me different things. SQUEE!

For whatever reason, the pictures won’t upload. I’ll have to share them tomorrow. I’ll also share the photos of her studio, the restaurant she showed me where I had divine food and a glass of wine from the region. Hopefully the internet will bless me with a better connection tomorrow.

Peace be with you. You are loved!

Day Twenty-One, Nothing

In a way I feel as if I’ve let you down since you’ve been so kind to keep up with my adventures and exploits. However, I do need a day of rest. I took that today. I’ve been up to reading, napping, texting, and generally preparing for my adventure tomorrow.

I’m heading to the main bus station late morning tomorrow to pick up a rental car. A manual mini. Then I’m going to drive from Mondeville (a suburb of Caen) to Honfleur. It’s about an hour away according to Google maps. I chose a route that is a bit longer but there aren’t any tolls on the road.

I’m going to stay overnight and drive back on Friday morning.

To tell you the truth, I’m a filled with a bit of anxiety about this trip. I haven’t driven in nearly a month. I haven’t driven a stick shift vehicle in longer than that…I think three years or so. I’ve never driven a mini-car before, nor have I driven on French roads. Although I have an idea where I’m going, the actual journey is going to be a wild one simply because I don’t know.

My uncertainty isn’t going to prevent me from going. I mean, if I’d let my trepidation take hold, I’d never have come to a foreign country in the first place. But exploring a town on foot and by bus is a slightly different creature than driving it. I really wish I had a sign to put in the back of my window to let other drivers know I’m new here, cut me some slack!

I’ll have a better story and pictures tomorrow to share. I look forward on taking you with me.

Peace be with you. You are loved!

Day Twenty, The Church that tilts

On today’s excursion to the bus stop, I found this church with a distinctive tilt. I noted the street where I found it with the note to self to look it up when I returned to the apartment.

Church of Saint-Jean de Caen

This church was originally built in the seventh century at a crossroads of the lower valley of the Orne. This became the main route between Bayeux and Lisieux which evolved into Exmoisine road, and currently on rue Saint-Jean.

Now why anyone would build a church in a bog, who knows. This church is no stranger to destruction from wars. It has been rebuilt several times. In 1944, although the tilted tower stood, the rebuilding of the sanctuary removed the last remnants of the Roman influence.

In 1969, an artist, Danièle Perré, was asked to replace the windows in l’eglise Saint Jean. The resulting work is simply beautiful. With light touches of abstract design, colorful depictions of faith and love, a new breath was breathed into the revitalized church.

The history of the places I’m seeing is like rooting through an old trunk in the attic. It’s discovering lost treasures that were there all along. I have described it as feeling like history is pulsing in my blood, but I don’t know that it’s exactly like that.

It is more like looking through a dirty pair of glasses. I can see the contemporary buildings because they’re obvious. But if I clean my glasses a bit, I can step further back in time, to when the restoration took place. If I use a cleaner on my eyewear, I can see into the past like a magic mirror exposing architectural secrets to the sharp view now afforded. It’s a new way to observe what is preserved instead of destroyed.

I traveled to Rosel today. I went through the routine of exercises with him. I had to coax him a bit to go for a walk. He finally relented. We walked down the narrow rural road to the corner where there are four horses in a huge field. There is a black one, a dark brown, a light brown, and a white horse. Three males and a female.

We must have caught their attention because after we turned around, the horses came over to the fence to greet us. The black and the white ones were first. They eyeballed us up and down keeping pace with our awkward movement. The other two joined in and walked us down to the corner. It was joyful for me and seemed to brighten my client’s mood as well.

I’m planning a trip to Honfleur for an overnight on Thursday. I’m going to meet and paint with an artist there. I’m also going to drive for the first time in France in a stick shift car (Yes, I know how to drive one. I was taught to drive in one.)

When I was describing the plans to my client’s wonderful wife, she was impressed with how organized I am when it comes to going places. “I know what I want and I make it happen.” She said she wanted to get a painting or a sign of that saying because it was a good life lesson. I don’t suppose I should amend that to say, “If nobody else can help, do it yourself.” Which is the real reason I am going to drive there. I had rides set up twice but one was on the wrong day, the other got cancelled because the driver wanted to spend more time in Caen than he thought.

With all the things that have bowed to the whimsy of Murphy’s Law this trip, I’m just abiding. I sail along whatever waters there are. I don’t have the friend resource here like back home, so I have to make sure I take care of myself, my well being, my safety, and my adventures to the best of my ability. So far, I’ve been enjoying the flow of the days.

Peace go with you. You are loved!

Day Nineteen, A bird and a Rogue

I’ve had quite an interesting day.

This morning, I was sitting in the bathroom. The window to the apartment was open because it gets quite warm up in here. I was doing my thing when I heard a mild racket at the window. I poked my head out the door and there was a pigeon sitting on the windowsill. She was very interested in checking out the place. I greeted her verbally. I finished my task, flushed, and stepped into the main room without approaching her. We stared at each other for a bit. She got a mind to fly away. It was a surprising and pleasant interaction.

Complaint: The Twisto app that I use to find the nearest bus stop doesn’t update in real time so you have to walk about a half block, tap the screen just to find out you’re not going the right direction. I demand perfection! That’s a lie, but it sure would be nice.

I got to my bus stop barely on time. I mean, I found it, looked up, and there was the bus. Given that I went the wrong way and had to jury rig my directions to make it, I felt pretty proud of myself.

Upon arrival to the last stop on the line, I waited for a few minutes while my client’s wife (An absolute gem of a human) was en route to pick me up. It was 84 degrees outside which is pretty warm. Tomorrow, it’s supposed to be about 66 degrees F. I love cooler weather.

I spent the next couple of hours with my client. One of the activities we do it bounce a ball back and forth 130 times. When I first started working for this family 3 years ago, I absolutely dreaded it because he would insist on counting in French. Bless his beautiful heart that he did. I look forward to it because, unlike in the beginning, I can lead the count all the way past 100! I’m very pleased he insisted even though I wasn’t happy in the beginning.

His wife arrived from the grocery trip she went on and she insisted she drop me at the bus stop. I agreed. As we approached the stop, the bus was pulling away. I said it was okay because I can catch the next one. “Nonsense.” She revved up the engine, passed the bus, and dropped me at the next stop. She went rogue on me! I didn’t expect it from her, but man, that woman can drive!

I got off at the Caen Theatre Quai. I searched for a restaurant nearby. I found a couple of burger joints, but honestly, I haven’t had one since I got here. I just don’t want to eat American food when I’m in freaking France! Instead, I found a Vietnamese place.

Boeuf Loc Lac, a creamy cheesecake, a Vietnamese coffee, and a Coke Zero. That’s a softboiled egg (which I asked to not be included) and a crapload of cilantro which tastes like soap to me. I did some picky eating with this dish.
The menu as clear as I could get it.

I made it back up the five flights of stairs. Since my client is going to have company starting on Wednesday, I won’t be needed for the rest of the week. What to do, what to do…

HA! The Rome2Rio app has a rideshare option. All I have to do is show up at the scheduled time, ride along in the car, and end up at my destination. I’m going to Honfleur, France to paint in a studio on Thursday. I’m so freaking jazzed!

Although I’ve been reading for fun since I got here (think trashy novels and good sci-fi), I wanted to try something I truly love. I don’t think anything makes me happier than when I have paint on my hands. I’ll let you know how it goes and if I’ll be able to find a ride home (not yet, but I’m hopeful).

Remember when I did the professional photo shoot in Paris? They were supposed to send me the proofs in 7-10 business days so I could select 5 of them. Well, that didn’t happen. What DID happen was that she felt so bad that she dropped the ball, she gave them all to me! All 37! To say I was pleased would be an understatement. I would totally recommend Best Pictures in Paris to any tourist. So, where’s the proofs? I’m going to share a few of my favorites with you.

French ducks sleeping!
This wall was SO TALL! I am not. I was on my very, very, very tippy-toes to get this shot. You can’t see the comma, but it says: LOVE, ME

Those are my favorites. I like them because I look like me, not someone posed. I’m so glad I had this experience. I mean, there’s only so many selfies one can take before…bah.

I’m going back to my client’s house tomorrow to exercise with him.

OH! Before I forget. After the calamity of the early morning banging on my door, I’m scared to make any noise at all. I’m living like a monk that’s taken a vow of silence. It’s not as bad as it sounds…ha! See what I did there? Listening isn’t one of my strengths because I love to speak in what I call “layer cakes.” I like for the conversations to be a mix of ideas thrown together, sometimes with frosting, sometimes without. But, this is a practice I’m uneasy with which means I should probably do it and be grateful for the opportunity. Besides, I can speak with my client’s family.

Peace go with you wherever you are. You are loved!

Day Eighteen-ish

My first night here at the new place. I went to bed but got awakened by a phone call from my dear friend. It was only 8PM her time, 2AM mine. I took the call because I love her. I had to turn on the light so she could see me. We chatted for a bit about stuff and things.

At 2:30AM there was a banging on my door with a man’s voice yelling in French. I understood the word monsieur, but that’s it. It freaked me out and I ended my call. I was confused, uncertain, and afraid. It took me a long time to calm down so I could sleep again. I messaged the host because I didn’t know what else to do. I was not about to confront an angry Frenchman in the middle of the night.

At about 5:30AM (11:30PM in East TN) I was successful. At 11AM there was a light knock on my door. It was the host of the Airbnb checking to see if I was okay. I was, although I explained my confusion. I didn’t realize that anything I do or say here can be heard because the walls are so thin. I didn’t know.

The man who lives across the hall is a musician who was awakened by my conversation. I promise, I wasn’t being loud or anything, just talking. The man immediately next to him was yelling for me to be quiet, but I didn’t hear that. The musician is the one who banged on my door.

I have lived alone for so long now that I take my privacy and space for granted. Being in a communal apartment building for the first time in over a decade has been quite eye opening. I don’t know that I could go back to this again. It makes me grateful for what I have.

Anyway, I fiddled around a bit today, but I was really tired. I went to bed at 7PM with the intention of reading. That didn’t happen. I just woke up. My normal routine starts tomorrow and I’m excited to see my clients.

I am okay. I’m fully chastized. I’m learning and understanding my place. I’m going to share the pictures of the Paris photoshoot (my favorite ones anyway) in my next post. Stay tuned…

Day Seventeen, Moved in…again

Let me start this off by telling you that I once fantasized about building and living in a portable tiny house. I had the plans picked out and the dream was real. I shopped on Tumbleweedhouses.com and fell in love with the Aspen. I really wanted to make it happen.

However, the new place I moved into for the next 20 days is tiny. I mean…

This is smaller than my storage room in my house in Tennessee.

The bathroom is super tiny and I’m rather concerned about how I’m going to manage to shower in such a small space. I’ll figure it out, no doubt, but it’s going to be a challenge.

There is one really nifty feature about this place. It has a composting toilet. Whatever goes in gets ground up after you flush. It’s something I’ve never encountered before so I’m sharing it.

Don’t worry, there’s nothing in the toilet.

Now before you start thinking I don’t like the place, that’s not entirely true. It’s neat, tidy, art on the walls, plants to decorate it, functionally succinct. It doesn’t have a stove, but it has a microwave. There is enough storage that I don’t feel like I’m living out of my suitcase.

Plus side, my butt is going to be amazing after the stay here. It’s on the top floor (aka the 5th floor) with no elevator. Try carrying a 50lb suitcase up those puppies. My arms and my back are reminding me that I’m an idiot. Another plus side is, I only had to carry them up once and don’t have to carry them down for 20 days.

The woman whose daughter owns the place met me this morning. She allowed me early check-in and drove in from the countryside to do so. She was dressed impeccably with a short blonde bob, square thick framed glasses, and a working understanding of English. She was so kind. I enjoyed speaking with her very much. I gave her two Appalachian potholders that were handmade by an artisan from back home. She gave me an assortment of cakes. We chatted for a bit about this and that. She actually carried my grocery buggy and my carryon up all five flights, then came back and carried my overstuffed big suitcase up the last flight. With keys in hand, we bid adieu.

I unpacked quickly. I made a short list of items to get (sharp knife and a bread knife, bath towel that would fit me, and a real coffee mug). I returned to the MonoPrix store which is a couple of blocks away. I was able to find everything I needed to stock my fridge too.

The chair I’m sitting in is a white plastic sling chair with metal legs. I’m telling you this because I farted in it and it amplified it to the point it startled me a bit. Desolee’ (sorry).

There is a small window, I think it’s facing North.

The street sounds filtering in are loud for motorcycles, quieter for cars. It’s currently 60 degrees, nearly midnight and I’m satisfied with my life.

Day Sixteen, Packing

I have spent the last twelve days in an apartment in the middle of Caen. It feels comfortable enough to poop with the door open. Oh, come on! You know that kind of freedom is a luxury! I’m reluctant to begin the packing process, although I won’t have to do it again for another 20 days.

What does home mean to me? I’ve been thinking about this all day since my life has become rather transient since I arrived here. I have walked more here because I can that I ever did back in Tennessee. I’ve done this solo. Although I get to work with my clients regularly, I’m on my own the rest of the time.

In the Captain’s chair (which is what I call where I like to sit in my kitchen), I feel at home. I’m surrounded by my things that I’ve collected. Each item has a story behind it of how I got it, who it came from, where I got it, what the sentimental value is to me. It feels safe.

Home is a haven for me. It’s a place where I can think at my own pace. I can clean or not. I can interact with the world or not. It’s a place where the coffee is always a brew away and the door is open to my friends (family by appointment!). It’s the place where I can be honest with myself about what it is that I actually want to do with my time. It’s a place where I make my own decisions about my life. It’s my space.

Here I am today with a different take on it.

The walls here are without ornamentation. They are plain white with deep red curtains hanging around the three windows that fill the room with natural light during the day and an annoying security light by night. (I just figured out I could pull the curtains last night, OY!). But home? This is where I am. This is where I’m staying, but I’m still me.

I thought home was a place as I’ve described, but it’s transmogrifying in my perception. Home is where I am. Home is the feeling of purpose and belonging. Right now I feel like I belong to the world. The space I take up here, although small by physical standards, is an explosion of my senses. It’s a courage and bravery that I suspected and had periodically reinforced with choices, but dudes, I can’t even speak the language here!

I’m doing it. I’m taking in everything I can see. Each time I ride the bus I see something I hadn’t noticed before. I’m engaging with life in a silent role out of necessity. I don’t have to make small talk. I don’t have to fill silence. I can just be. It’s been the ultimate practice of Dudeism for me.

I got up this morning and went to the laundromat. I washed what needed to be including the towels and pillowcases I’ve used. I didn’t do the sheets though because I’m still going to use them tonight. While I was waiting, the double espresso kicked in. I needed to use the restroom. I asked the location manager where the nearest bathroom was. She directed me to a Tabac/Brassiere down the street. I followed her directions (her pointing), found it but it was closed.

I returned to the laundry. She asked if I went. Non. Closed. She gestured for me to follow her. She brought me into a room behind the dryers that was filled with clothes in various states of neatness. In the corner was a lidless toilet. Merci!

With all that accomplished, laundry warm out of the dryer, I folded what I had and stored it in my rolling buggy. Good stuff, that.

I had a doctor’s appointment at 1PM (7AM in East Tennessee) for a prescription refill. The woman behind the reception desk didn’t speak English but a tiny bit. Like me, mostly numbers. With a little help from my trusty companion, we conversed enough for me to know I was paying a whopping 25 Euros to see the doctor. No kidding.

The doctor was pleasant, spoke English, explained how my prescription was going to be filled (in a box not a bottle) and I have to go back in 30 days to get the other half of the prescription. He also prescribed me lancets because I didn’t bring enough with me. He wasn’t pleased that he could only do 30 days at a time, but I got the prescription so I’m a happy camper.

He had a scale in his office. I asked if I could check my weight. He enthusiastically agreed. As it turns out, walking does wonders for ones weight. I’ve lost nearly six pounds since being here. I’m still eating mostly like an American, but I’m walking everywhere. Grocery store? No problem. Walk. Pharmacie? Close enough to walk. Laundromat? Down the road and around the corner a bit. I’m absolutely enthusiastic about the walkability here.

As I was walking to the bus stop to catch the bus to my job (37 minutes by bus), I passed by the headquarters of Twisto (The public bus company in Caen. They also rent bicycles by the hour, I’m debating). I wanted to know when my month pass expires but I couldn’t figure out how to find that information. A friendly woman tried to help me, but she wasn’t familiar with the app either. Her supervisor wasn’t sure either. Several phone calls later, multiple times hearing my name spelled out in French, and they had an answer. Since the infinite use ticket is good for a month, it goes from the first time you board the bus. Each time it’s validated, it checks against that date. Good to know.

As I waited at the stop, I got thirsty. I went to the MonoPrix store that was not even a block away. I picked up a couple of drinks and some croissants (Buy 3 get one free! WOOT!) I pulled out my handy foldable bag, loaded the goods, and off I went. By the way, dollar bills aren’t a thing here. They have coins. 1 penny, a nickel, a dime, twenty cents, fifty cents, 1 Euro, 2 Euro. I’ve been hesitant to pay with the coins because it gives me a bit of anxiety. Today was different. I counted out the coins with little trouble. Gold star on my forehead!

Back at the stop, I decided to eat a croissant. An ordinary pigeon with two toes on one foot that didn’t appear to be hindering its stroll, walked around in front of me. What the deuce? I tossed a tiny piece to the bird. That was like an alarm siren going off because almost immediately there were about eight of them hunting by my feet.

These are just a few of them. They have such unusual coloring compared to what I’m used to seeing. The bird practically in the middle had a dark green ring of feathers around his neck with a purple (although it looks brown in this picture) ascot. That was a really pretty bird. They all were. I gave them a bit more and watched them battle for crumbs. When I put it like that, it doesn’t sound quite as pleasant as what I experienced.

After getting my prescription filled on my way back from work, I was walking through that bistro area I described before. It was filled with what looked like University students. Every chair was filled with lively conversation, lots of cigarettes, and beer. Off to the side was a trio of men, likely in their mid 20’s.

One of them men was laying down, tucked up against the building with his coat pulled over his head. He was sleeping. The dude on my left, in front of the sleeping man, had long, dirty blonde hair that had braids sporadically placed. He looked like he was pretty high because his eyes were nearly closed, bloodshot from what I could see, and his body swayed as if gravity was coaxing him to do the wave.

The man to my right had quite the collection of sketches splayed out on the ground. As I approached, he was having a conversation with a pretty curly haired blonde girl whose arm was in an immobilizer. Her friend kept looking up the road where all the people were gathered as if silently imploring her friend to leave. When they did, I stepped up to admire his work. I asked how much, but he didn’t understand. A woman dressed in combat fatigues that fit her very well, translated. He said, free choice. I selected the ones you see here, plus one you don’t. I asked his name.

I told him it was important to credit the artist when you like their work. He gave me this.

I have two family members in the hospital right now. One is in rehab gaining strength to go home, the other is in ICU on oxygen after being rushed to the hospital by ambulance. Covid. Their spouse also tests positive so they can’t visit their very sick partner. Say a prayer if you got’em. P.S. My mom is out of the hospital and doing pretty well considering.

I’ve dawdled long enough. Off to pack for my move in the morning. Thank you for reading. You are loved!

Day Fifteen, Abide

I started out with the plan to go to the Caen Memorial. It’s the number 2 bus from nearby that would take me there. But, I was running a bit uncomfortable in the Euros, so I went in search of a bank thinking that it would be a quick stop, change things out, and I could make my plans happen.

While I was trudging along to the bank, I saw a Pharmacie. Since I’ve been carrying the empty bottle of my thyroid medication around with me for three days, I popped in to see how to go about getting it filled. Luckily the Pharmacie tech spoke pretty decent English. I showed her the empty bottle, explained I wasn’t in immediate need, but would be soon.

She looked genuinely sad when she explained that they couldn’t refill it without a French doctor’s prescription. I explained to her that the pharmacy I use back home filled all but this one that I take every day. No can do. Must see a doctor. Okay. Well where do I find one of those when I don’t reside in this country.

She gave me surprisingly accurate directions to a nearby clinic. I thanked her profusely for being so helpful. Off I went to find the doctor’s office.

I should note to you that where I was is a rather large shopping zone. There is everything you’d want or need within a several block radius. I decided I’d better change out my dollars first. I found the bank.

Did you know that many businesses close between the hours of noon and 2pm? Including banks? I didn’t. As it turned out, I’d seen a shop that was open right around the corner. I explored the multitude of colors, scents, and suggested flavors. I picked up a couple of things as souveniers. I still had some time to kill, so I went window shopping.

I didn’t find anything interesting enough to catch my eye so I headed back to the bank which had just opened the doors. The young woman asked me a question in French.

“English?” I asked pointing to myself.

“No, non.” She replied.

I pulled out Google translate and explained I needed to exchange money.

“No, non.” She shook her head. “Wait here, I’ll go find out where you can do that.” Google translated.

She returned about ten minutes later with an address written on a sticky note. Her ones looked like: ^ (that’s a carot if you can’t see it.)

I verified the address, typed it into Google maps and with a smile and a wave, I went exploring again.

Plus side, I got a LOT of walking in today just running errands. I followed the path religiously until I found the shop. As luck would have it, it’s directly across the street from where I’m moving to on Saturday! Woot! Bustling neighborhood too. Walking distance.

I waited in the queue for my turn. Upon entering, I was in a small bathroom sized room with a screen rolling the exchange rate for various countries. Behind a high counter with glass up to the ceiling, a tray was pushed through the wall onto my side. The man spoke to me, I asked for English, he switched easily into our transaction.

With a bit of back and forth, I ended up a bit lighter than I’d expected, but not too bad considering. Au Revoir! Into the sunshine I went with a feeling of getting shit done. Still some things to take care of, I decided to head back towards the open market where there was a carousel for the children in a gaudy pink.

As I followed the walking map, I noted a clinic on the corner where the pharmacie tech had directed me, several in fact. I crossed the road and went in.

One of the three behind the desk spoke English. I showed them my empty bottle and explained what I needed. For clarity, this clinic had both medical AND dentistry in the same building. I further learned that today was a dentistry day. I’d have to return tomorrow to see the doctor. Would I please bring the bottle back with me when I return? Why, yes! Yes I will.

The woman at the computer asked for my name. I gave her the bottle. She smiled and typed from that. She asked for my birthdate. I recited it in French (THANK YOU MY CLIENT). She laughed at my pronunciation but when she repeated it back, it was correct. Then she asked for my phone number. I also recited it in broken French. She nodded approval at that one, read it back to me correctly and now I have an appointment tomorrow at 1PM, 7AM Knoxville TN time.

I’m 12 and this made me laugh so hard…HA! I mean, dude. This is ripe with blue humor…HA!

Everywhere I go, there are flowers planted. On street corners, on sidewalk dividers, on road dividers, in planters, around street lights. Why don’t we have more of this in America? It’s just freaking beautiful.

A pretty pigeon.
The companion pigeon.
Very pink carousel.

I did not, in fact, make it to the memorial today. My intentions were to do so, but when I finally got done with all of the things I’d accomplished, I was worn out. I walked back to the apartment fighting the urge to hop a bus.

I made it back safely. I fixed tuna with black olives and goat cheese diced in it with a squish of mayo (The French version has dijon mustard in it which is pretty tasty.) I drank the last of my coke zero, gathered clothes for the lavage tomorrow, took a bath after dinner (REALLY!), and now I’m writing for you.

Tomorrow I have to hit the laundry, the doctor, the pharmacie, back to the apartment, catch the bus to Cairon, work, then back home to pack up before I move Saturday. It’s going to be satisfying and busy.

Thank you for reading.