I am awakened.
I am reborn.
I will conquer
where hearts are torn.
Here are some easy ways to find your happy : Gratitude, look for the ever present blessings, surround yourself with love and solidly good humans, trust your intuition, follow your bliss, engage in life instead of reading/dreaming/hoping for something to happen, make the life you want instead of the life other people seem to think you should have or lead. NEVER do anything that speaks against your spirit.
I’m a Seahorse
There are multitudes of angry words corralled behind her tongue
Waiting anxiously to stampede into the unwary ears of the unforgiven wrangler.
He doesn’t suspect that his lasso of rage would harness responsibility for his neglect.
She is unbridled in her disgust.
She halts without warning, veering suddenly towards the truth.
Although she relishes her saddle for its beautifully intricate design,
she bucks in furious battles against the reason it was placed on her back.
The cowboy remains oblivious to the pain of the branding iron
with which he sears her flesh with his signature as proof of his mortality.
The wrangler arrogantly believes he is bigger, better, stronger than she.
But her spirit hasn’t been broken. Her body is faster, smarter;
more adept at navigating the directional and environmental changes he affords.
She is her own shelter, her own stability, while he is self-oppressed at his hearth.
He is completely entranced and entrenched by his campfire of hatred.
It makes him unaware of her riding away at a full gallop into the sunrise of freedom.
I wrote the original of this in January 2014. I’m pretty sure it was because I was encouraging someone to think differently. Here is a repeat performance as we enter into bikini season, as the fashion bullshit-o-meter calls it.
Ruby the Bodyworks beauty
Dear Human,
I am reading your posts about someone(s)calling you fat. In our society where a size zero is revered and anything over that is overweight, it’s so easy…so, so easy to think that you’re nothing unless you meet that standard. People, as a whole, don’t care if it leaves you crying when they call you fat. They don’t care if you’ve lost 100 pounds and are still working towards the goal. If you’re not the societal warped version of a body, then you’re a nothing, not a zero because that would be skinny, but a nothing.
When I was young, I was not thin, but I was womanly in my curves. I had a relatively flat stomach until I was 22 when my body flipped me the bird and gained 100 pounds in six months. I felt horrible all the time. Just seeing myself in the mirror would bring me to tears and eventually, I just quit looking. It was too painful and awkward.
At 26, I realized I was dramatically unhealthy. Not just fat, but unhealthy. I went vegetarian and worked out every day for 3 months and went from 256lbs to 159. I kept that weight off for two years, minimal effort, and although I fluctuated a few pounds here and there, I kept my exercise and diet plan clean and clear.
In 1999, I was raped. Unfortunately, that happened to coincide with my thyroid going bat shit crazy and I gained all but 20 pounds of the weight I’d worked so hard to lose. I was back up in the 230’s…high end. With stress eating and hormones flying around like the Wizard of Oz monkey’s, I got suicidally depressed.
2005 rolled around and I moved to TN with my best friend and her boyfriend to live at my father’s house. I had to eat at restaurants for the next two years, and although my weight stayed in the 230’s, I wasn’t really happy. I could look at myself in the mirror, but I constantly tore myself apart. If my boobs didn’t sag. If my butt had a shape other than pancake. If my arms didn’t have bat wings. If my belly didn’t make me look like the Michelin man. So many things I couldn’t like about my body. I further admit that I read celebrity gossip rags religiously and loved the way their bodies looked and dreamed of being like them.
And just like my use of drugs when I was in my late teens, I just woke up one day and said, no more. At first that little voice, that constantly criticized me and told me I was fat, ugly, unworthy, un-loveable, etc. was so loud it made it hard to hear anything else. But, every time I’d hear that voice (whether internal or external) I’d reassure myself that I am okay.
After a while, it became second nature. I replaced all of the bad things I used to tell myself and have told to me, with positive things. I can walk. I can touch my toes. I can breathe. I can do a push-up. I can work harder than most people. I am rather attractive. I am kind.I am compassionate. I’m a helper. I’m a giver. I’m appreciated. I am worthy. I am loved. And the body issues, for me, fell away like the weight so evident on my thighs.
I want you to know that I share this with you because you ARE beautiful. Even with me saying kind things, NEVER believe anyone but yourself. Trust your instincts, ignore everyone else’s opinions because in the end, you’re the only person responsible for your own happiness and the only one you’ll have in your life 24/7/365 until your last day on this plane. You’re wonderful. I guarantee that. You’re compassionate.I’ve seen it. You’re a kind woman to everyone. You’re a great mother and a good wife. I’ve watched you. You’re a devoted friend with a kind heart. Love yourself enough that anyone who objects to your value, clearly doesn’t know your worth.
Sincerely,
Mare, the first wonder twin, Martell
Poem: Mare Martell, 2015
Photo Credit:
Eaglesvision King, 2015
Although the “Pineapple” style of Ukulele is not my first choice, I really like the design of this.
Hands of Offering
Where there are tears,
offer relief.
Where there is despair,
offer belief.
Where there is darkness,
offer your light.
Where there is injustice,
offer human rights.
Where there is loss,
offer a shoulder.
Where there is a spark
offer to smolder.
Where there is plenty,
offer to share.
Where there is anguish,
offer repair.
Where there is emotion,
offer your being.
Where there are shackles
offer the freeing.
Where there is chaos,
offer a peace.
Where there is frustration,
offer release.
Today I will join in solidarity against police brutality suffered by my fellow human beings. It would seem some police have forgotten they, too, are human.
As a Unitarian Universalist it is my honor to be a pilgrim for justice and a fool for love. #blacklivesmatter #iamuu #lovethyneighbor
Slut Walk 2011 Costume
I admit that I am an explorer of other people’s homes.
A pirate seeking buried treasure that’s right beneath their nose.
I like to admire the stained glass lamp that has a shade with fringe.
I like to see the beauty beneath the cobwebs and the dim.
I like to use the bathroom and see the colors of your towels
I won’t rhyme this line unless I can remove all the vowels
Wn’t rhym ths ln nlss cn rmv ll th vwls
May I peek into your medicine cabinet to see your secret life?
May I, with little poking ‘round, see what gives you strife?
Are you careful with your products all neatly lined up in a row?
Are you careless with your inventory like a freaking circus show?
Do you keep random things to surprise people like me?
Or do you hide that secret life in your secret menagerie?
Do you appreciate your happies when you look shiny to reflection?
Or do you begrudgingly criticize your imagined dereliction?
I reluctantly admit, that I’m an explorer of other people’s homes.
A pirate seeking buried treasure that’s right beneath their nose.
I can’t. I can’t. I can’t.
I cant. I cant. I cant.
I am afraid to say breathe. I’m afraid to reach out. I’m afraid for my friends. I’m afraid for my people. I’m afraid for my tribe. I’m afraid of the police.
I can’t. I can’t. I can’t.
I cant. I cant. I cant.
I’m pulling on my leggings. I’m pulling on my hoodie. I’m pulling on my black clothing. I’m draping on my colorful cape. I’m standing up with you.
I can. I can. I can.
I am. I am. I am.
Black lives matter.
Hands up! Don’t shoot!
Black lives matter!
I can’t breathe! I can’t breathe!
Black lives matter!
My brothers! My sisters!
#blacklivesmatter
Stop the Hate
I ride with my brothers and sisters of all races and creeds;
To rear up their own steeds in unified protest;
To ride the momentum of waves of grief
Heeding the cries of mothers for their stricken children
Comforting tears of fathers for their lost legacy
We beg our inheritance returned from the barrels
Of the guns, drugs, and forced disintegration of segregation
Of caged familial relationships in the name of
Law enforcement in a police state.
Oh, Lady Justice! Raise your blindfold!
We beckon you to turn your marble eyes
Towards those who insult your intention!
We call out in solidarity for your scales
To balance the inequality that takes our skin
And uses it against our fellow Americans;
Our future! Our could-have-beens:
Strong leaders, bold teachers, smart cookies, fast learners,
Good parents, good people, good workers, good earners
Had they not been vilified by unjust practices
My blood, as theirs, is caught in the web of deception
Colored every nuance of brown, every color of tarnished brass.
You’ve stolen my generation’s heirlooms
Away from the breathing world
Crammed them into the darkest days of greatest sin,
The murder of my brethren; their only “crime” is having more melanin.
An Independent Nondiscriminatory Platform With No Religious, Political, Financial, or Social Affiliations - FOUNDED 2014
Life is a patchwork of moments — laughter, solitude, everyday joys, and quiet aches. Through scribbled stories, I explore travels both far and inward, from sunrise over unfamiliar streets to the comfort of home. This is life as I see it, captured in ink and memory. Stick around; let's wander together.
Hosanna High Community Burial Project
True wealth is the wealth of the soul
Daydreaming and then, maybe, writing a poem about it. And that's my life.
Life as an American poet of excellence
Epic fantasy & military sci-fi author.
Love Letters to the Tar Pit
Making Space for Dreams
binge thinking and other things in life
Mare Martell 