Category Archives: Love

Abide with Life

I was sure I’d be dead by 21. I was positive I’d be married and have children. I was convinced that I would be married forever.

I’m 56 years old now. I live happily by myself with a pup and a cat for company. I’m surrounded by friends who love and celebrate me. I own my own business. And, weirdly enough, my path has become one of caregiving and spiritual with a focus on death and dying.

My 18 year old self, my 25 year old self, and even my 40 year old self wouldn’t recognize the life I have now. Possibilities have changed my life when I started saying yes and quit doing what I thought I should.

This life I build each day is a true adventure.

Intimate Brain

Repeatedly she kissed my hand

hugged my arm close to her body

She apologized not with “I’m sorry,”

but repeatedly with “I love you.”

Her eyes met mine briefly

with the woman she once was

vanished in a blink which, again,

began her litany of obsession.

What I witnessed, what I felt, what I learned,

wasn’t enough to ease her anxiety

her frustration and anger

even if she doesn’t quite understand why.

“I love you. I love you. I love you.”

“I love you too, dear one.”

I truly do. I fell in love with my new friend

Brain intimate with momentary lucidity

She smiled sunshine towards me despite her clouds

I promised to carry her love with me

Because I LOVE You

Transformation

Because I LOVE you

The revolution begins

Not with violence

But in the most sacred part of a living being

A shift in belief

A consideration of possibilities

A seed planted in the right conditions

An adventure and adaptation

A surrender to truth

A conspiracy of hope.

Equity

Because I LOVE you

When the “them” become we

When there is celebration in diversity

When homogenization is frowned upon

When being different is cherished

When others become us

When we walk ten miles beside them

When we seek to share our spirits

Without fear, without repercussions

When balance is restored to all living beings

Plurality

Because I LOVE you

You can bow your head

Covered or uncovered

You can walk holy halls

With shoes or without

You can pray all day

Or not at all

You can profess your faith

Or you can remain silent

You can go to church

Or you can stay at home

Justice

Because I LOVE you

I will protect you to the best of my ability

I will see you as the human you are

I will not convert you or force feed you

I will be quiet, so your voice is heard

I will walk beside you and stand behind you

I will support your righteous cause

I will encourage your truth

I will honor the authority over your personal autonomy

Generosity

Because I LOVE you

When you are overwhelmed and crying

I will bring comfort and compassion

When you are hungry

I will feed your spirit and your belly

When you are sick or weak

I will spoon feed you broth or lend you my strength

When your heart is heavy with grief

I will give you a haven to wade into the depths

When you are in need of a hand up

I will give what I can, when I can, as often as I can

Interdependence

Because I LOVE you

You are me.

I am you.

No matter which faces you see when you pray

No matter how you show up

No matter what, you are my kin

My blood is filled with your laughter and tears

You may not understand,

But know that I hold no judgment on your heart

I don’t know your hardships or happiness

But I know that you are LOVEd exactly as you are

Despite of and because of everything that makes you, YOU.

I am a Unitarian Universalist

“Because I LOVE you and I obey the Law of LOVE.”

Vigil of Peace

Silence can be difficult for people. It’s particularly deafening when the person they want to talk to most is actively dying. The feeling of helplessness and longing can feel catastrophically overwhelming. I wanted to offer something that people could use to comfort both themselves and the person who is dying.

I approached Laura Davis, a person I’ve collaborated with in the past, with lyrics for a simple bedside song that could be sung as easy as “Happy Birthday”. She didn’t disappoint. Below is the music and lyrics for you to use as you need to. I sing a slight variation of notes than is written, but that’s because I’m a mediocre singer with delusions of grandeur.

Approaching Senior

older person holding an open book near a window

I am too old to be considered youthful

Yet, I’m a child, still wet-behind-the-ears

I’ve lived a life precariously truthful

But still, I’ve yet to see all of my years.

I have been as close to death as dust

But I still don’t know it by its common name

I have gifted dirges to those I’ve loved

A place in my heart they’ve claimed

If I’m blessed to live an entire century,

I hope that I won’t sit alone by the window

Waiting for those I love to learn too late they love me.

I’d languish for their amity, my companion, my shadow

There is a certain reverence to a life lived unfurled

The spiral tapestries of the lessons learned

Woven back upon itself briefly, beautifully curled

Love and joy have always been the life for which I’ve yearned

Narcissus

I am the fairest in the land

I will not grant you to hold my hand

Women weep and lords they kneel

So taken are they by my appeal

I am a hunter, true, by trade

But that is not where my fortune’s made

For none can compare to my majesty

For those left behind me, it’s a tragedy

while wandering eve in forest’s thicket

the dusking chorus of chirping crickets

I leaned over the pool so clear and still

I heard the song of whippoorwill

Taken was I by the vision I saw there

With bright green eyes and curly hair

Immediately I fell head over heels

Born-again with religious zeal

I had finally met my illustrious mate

The vision fading as it grew late

I fitfully slept on the water’s edge

Praying not some sortilege

At morning star, I approached the shore

Gazing with beloved ardour

And there reflected so I could see

The most beautiful creature I’ve ever seen

But every time I attempted to touch the hand

Ripples destroyed us like a reprimand

I beat my chest in furious pounds

Wrecking the forest with ferocious sounds

I wept to be kept from whom I truly desired

My chest turned purple, my loins afire

So intense was my love that I wasted away

And a flower with my name is known to this day

Narcissus, they say at my beauty unmatched,

Your vanity, your curse, will not be dispatched.

Big Bands and Crooners

Trombone sliding around trumpets

Ole blue eyes and Crosby balladering

Loudly enough on the hi-fi to be heard in the kitchen

Cinnamon and nutmeg joined in chorus

Butter whipped with rich brown sugar

Sunshine egg yolks breaking out of their shell

Clouds of flour rising with surprised impudence

and vanilla competing with cocoa

(depending on the recipe)

Blended, folded, mixed, stirred

always in time to the metranome of music

Oven preheated, we hand our offerings into its maw

Patience.

All dishes are washed. All surfaces cleaned.

Attend to the hopeful gifts being transformed

Dusting, vacuuming, beds long made

Wait while the trumpet solo reaches cresendo

Patience.

With the ring of the timer, we engage our success

while Big Bands and Crooners celebrate with us

Groundhog Day

The atmosphere is filled with fear

While the scythe swings deathly near

Labored breathing, barely there

Scars of battles warn: Beware!

The flies swarm round like vultures keening

Recycled life of profound meaning

The Otherwhere claims the tiny soul

Regret is mine for the life I stole