Category Archives: Love

Preying Hands

Preying hands

Preying hands

I took my vow of silence when I unwillingly walked the aisle

I knew that once sealed, I was lost. I hoped to be.

I kissed his lips knowing they were poison

I tenderly held his hands that blessed me with curses;

beat me, berated me, tore me down to the floor where

I prayed at his altar with bloody knees,

“Please! I won’t sin again!”

I genuflected my resolved acceptance

of my worth from his unholy blessings and unlawful prayers.

I lay prostrate, willing myself to Mother Mary

Falling short of grace;

denied her forgiveness.

With the community choir ignoring the sermon

of discipleship he insisted I learn,

fifth in hand

I begged physical communion

I knew he’d lay down the fists for lustful sins

grunting self-satisfied “amens” of self-approval.

While I lynched my own redemption

on the clothesline laden with our dirty laundry

begging silently with screaming stains of humiliation

Betrayal drip drying fresh spilled secrets

Everybody listened

Nobody came.

Everybody knew

but denied my name.

Until

I found my voice

Until

I left six bullets in the clip

putting them safe in my pocket

one still in the chamber.

I knew you were a crappy shot

I won my life in a daring public race of rushing roulette

As I ran among my neighbors that I’d shared bread with

taken their children on vacation, gifted with Christmas

Challenging them to shine a light,

to allow me one phone call from my personal prison

Each house darkened but one remained.

My prayers finally answered

by confused badges of protect and serve honor.

I surrendered my protection

my haven

my home

because his shame lied

lay bruises on my arms.

Hear this, Father of my ex-communication,

I am again holy.

I am true in spirit.

I walk in grace while you walk in your valley of darkness

I pray you find your way to your own righteousness

I pray you never feel the transgressions you offered to me

visited upon your person

I pray that understanding of your offense

be never washed in the blood of another.

Amen and Blessed Be

Meditations

Meditations on Creations

Meditations on Creations

Nag Champa burning

Otherworld music calls

The gateway is hear.

My hands are not mine

The Muse creates using them

I watch with true faith.

I look to the sky

I speak freely with her heart

She is me, I am.

United we build

a beautiful world vision

grateful for our tools.

We walk the path strong

while we tread feather lightly

leaving no footprints.

I’m using this music as my “GATEWAY“

Love Madly

Earth, Air, Fire, Water

Earth, Air, Fire, Water, Spirit

Let’s fall madly in love with one another.

Entwine our spirits in a magical weave of devotion,

Inhale the earth scents we have become

Absorb our joy in reciprocal rhythm of unity

Believe, as I do, that we’re stardust and oceans

Temporarily sent:

To right here, right now,

Breathing each other passionately

Taking each other like communion without the gravity of solemnity

Let’s allow ourselves to indulge so we can commune

Rolling together on grassy hills, giggling wildfires of laughter

Consuming the stars, the moon, the planets like the delicacies they are

Enriching this moment with the wishing flower’s breezy dance

Barely touching skin to earth from flying currents of jolting surprise

Let’s fall madly, deeply, forever in love.

Instead,

We’ll just hold hands, hug tightly

While watching us fly the blooming skies nightly

Art and Mare Martell the Human

I will be doing my first solo art show June 20th at 2627 Sutherland Dr in Knoxville, TN. I’m both intimidated and excited to be doing something I love so much, so dearly. My rapid fire pace of April for writing has slowed a bit, but then again, that was a LOT of posts to get through. For that, I thank you. I’ll also be doing two workshops, one of which will be just plain putting the ART in your heart, the other is Happiness is in your room.

Here are some samples of what I’ll be sharing with the public that day. If I’m not as fluent or prolific of a poster, I hope you’ll bear with me so I can create this dream world I live in with all the beauty it has to offer. Thank you, my friends.

Based on a photo my friend Cass posted.

Based on a photo my friend Cass posted. This is a 30X30 acrylic on board.

Brought in more details, realized the mouth is too close to the nose for my liking, but further realized I'd not adjusted my view. DERP!

Brought in more details, realized the mouth is too close to the nose for my liking, but further realized I’d not adjusted my view. DERP!

Michele Ashbaugh inspired this piece. I added a bit more decolletage to the final picture. (Charcoal on Newsprint)

Michele Ashbaugh inspired this piece. I added a bit more decolletage to the final picture. (16X20 Charcoal on Newsprint)

Catch me in the morning because by afternoon, I'll be Dragon Butt!

Catch me in the morning because by afternoon, I’ll be Dragon Butt! (8X10 framed acrylic on butcher paper)

A dressing moon

Found in a Tuscon newspaper, I completely love this picture.

Found in a Tuscon newspaper, I completely love this picture.

I will put on my vestments to ride the night sky

I’ll reflect the sun into the darkness seeking sight

I’ll guide those who are lost, unwilling to be free

They’ll all know I am watching as I rise above the trees

I will monthly allow clandestine shadows cloak to hide

While I sneak my chosen path over indigo darkened skies

But as I wind around the earth chasing my lover’s pursuit

Believe me when I say, with my arrows I hunt and shoot

For as my time grows ever more; closer to my lover

I will remove each willowing wisp, reject my naked covers

When I am full, there’s no denying the glory that I shine

For those who know me best are dancing naked intertwined

Beneath my swollen belly and my womb of maturation

I gave birth to more than you, I’m the keeper of tides and nations.

So shall I depart from my gentle inamorato’s embrace

Until a cycle once more rounds, I’ll redress my bounty’s face.

I circle fates with my hips unbound

Singing songs of my sisters

Spirals never ending round

Upon Goddess brows a-glitter

NaPoWriMo: Day 30, carte blanche

Dear Universe

I sit here in my PJ’s with tear stained cheeks

I wonder out loud after I got kicked again

If maybe you’d forgotten me

If there was a reason you took my best friend.

Hold on, I have to blow my nose once more

I yelled at you because you took him away

My heart is still grieving, I continue to mourn

So if you don’t mind, I’ll cry, okay?

Oh, while you’re at it, thanks for halting that career

The one I needed to stave off poverty

So we could make it through the year?

That one that would really have been good for me?

Be patient because I don’t think I’m done hurting

I know you’re sending me the big guns, tomorrow

What real issues are we skirting?

Will they be able to help me ease my grief and sorrow?

I’ll trust in you even though I’m struggling to believe

Because I’m seeing so many people who are suffering like me

Because I hear their voices crying out in riots, beds, and songs

Because I know that you can hear them, please come right the wrongs.

This world is getting harder with each day that goes by

And I’m having trouble talking to my ceiling or looking to the sky

But I’ll believe because I know that you’ve graced me in many ways

But for now, I’ll sit here crying, eating chips while sobbing in my old PJ’s.

magalyguerrero.com/napowrimo-with-magaly-guerrero-2015 NaPoWriMo

magalyguerrero.com/napowrimo-with-magaly-guerrero-2015
NaPoWriMo

NaPoWriMo: This Poem Has a Mission

I started out strong with a gleam in my eye

Thirty days? Hell yeah, let’s go do or die!

I put pen to paper pushing letters to sort

I looked around crazy, I giggled to snort

Then I found something I didn’t live any more

How can I write about circling vultures of negative lore?

I don’t think that way I tell you for shore (heh)

I’m afraid to look back that it might find me once more.

Then I had to prepare for a day long performance

It was a test of my will, of strength, and endurance

But I fell down with bruised bloodied knees

Magaly Guerrero forgave and reassured me

I set out with a gleam in my eye

Thirty days, Hell yeah! Let me give it a try.

magalyguerrero.com/napowrimo-with-magaly-guerrero-2015 NaPoWriMo

magalyguerrero.com/napowrimo-with-magaly-guerrero-2015
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NaPoWriMo: In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded

In honor of Sir Terry Pratchett, I selected a quote about madness.

“Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind.”—Sir Terry Pratchett

He didn’t call them exclamation, he called them excitement

A bitter testament to his life’s indictment

With no more than a word or a breathy breath brought

He surrendered his loving light, just as he’d been taught

With shadows his footsteps and lies his parade

He ran off with a glass menagerie, to make his own way

I thought he’d come home, return to the love

But he can’t, he won’t, no olive branch carrying dove.

I’ll watch from my window to see if he passes by

But I know that he has five exclamation marks riding by his side.

magalyguerrero.com/napowrimo-with-magaly-guerrero-2015 NaPoWriMo

magalyguerrero.com/napowrimo-with-magaly-guerrero-2015
NaPoWriMo

NaPoWriMo: Making cheer up

Cass Betro taught me a word that I added meaning to. Joyfriend. The more I thought about it, the more I realized I really like this term. I really like that anyone that brings you great joy can be your Joyfriend. Happy Joyfriend day every day!

Cass and me playing hooky at church.

Cass and me playing hooky at church.

Every day should begin with a promise of a Joyfriend day

A commitment to call them, or let the know how you feel

A word of thanks for their humorous appeal

I think every day should begin as a Joyfriend day

Just letting them know that you’re there in a wonderful tale

Blessed Joyfriend, you could say, I’m so glad you’re in my life

Living the Joyfriend way.

They’d laugh and you’d smile like a mule and a crocodile

Which makes it even funnier and you laugh until your sides ache

I love to life the Joyfriend day, for I never know what will come my way

magalyguerrero.com/napowrimo-with-magaly-guerrero-2015 NaPoWriMo

magalyguerrero.com/napowrimo-with-magaly-guerrero-2015
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Breaking out of Prison*

*(Cell Phone)
If you don't know what this is, you're too young for me. :-)

If you don’t know what this is, you’re too young for me. 🙂

A few months ago, due to financial circumstances I had to give up having a cell phone. As my friends and contacts can attest, I was a full on addict. I couldn’t leave without my phone, I checked it at least twice every 10 minutes, and generally freaked out if I didn’t have my identity with me. And then, I had no choice but to abandon my preconceived notion of myself.

As I sit here today, I realize I don’t miss it. Not really. There’s only been one time that I really could have used one but I was in a hospital being monitored for heart issues anyway and my friend had one to notify my family if she needed to do so (thankfully she didn’t). Here are some things I learned about going “old school” with nothing but a home phone.

Control

I have more control over my life now than I did when I had a cell phone. I get to pick and choose easier by having only a home phone who has my number. It allows me to choose who I wish to spend my time with chatting on the phone. Unlike with a cell phone, I don’t feel obligated to answer my home phone because when I’m at home, that’s my time. If I want to spend time with people, I’ll go hang out with them. I am no longer strapped to everyone else’s beck and call. I decide what I want to do.

Money

I no longer have the overpriced expense of something that I didn’t really need. I figured out that I felt my cell phone was a measure of my worth in the modern world. I coveted nicer phones than I had because, well they were faster, bigger, whatever reason. I had a freak out because the phone I had got broken. If it weren’t for my friend, I’d have had no phone at all. But in retrospect, I needed to buy into the propaganda that I required one to fit in. I’m not one to do that. Money, although still not really a frequent thing in my pocket (YET!) is better spent on food, an occasional coffee out with friends, or other fun things instead of to a tether.

Ghost Calls

When I leave the house, I no longer have to worry about whether or not I received that phantom ring call. We’ve all had them. It’s the one that arrives precisely in the time it takes you to take your phone, check it, and put it back where you had it when it rings. Then the mad dash to answer it because the intuition that a call was coming in must mean DANGER! Well, usually, it was more mundane than that. It’s almost as if people are being trained like Pavlov’s dog to hear/feel the energy that keeps pouring into our bodies from those plastic gadgets.

Face Time (for real)

Yes, I’m aware there’s an app called that. Yes, I understand that it allows distant loved ones to chat with one another as if they’re right there in the same room. I get the practical side of that. However, I’ve found that if I’m really wanting to see a person…obvious here, go spend time with that person. I call up a friend and request an appointment. They agree or disagree. If they agree, I get to see them, hug them, smell them (which sounds creepier than it is), listen to their voice, watch their body language, visit with their spirit, etc. In short, I get to have communion with another human. I get to be a part of their life and they in mine. I value the time I have with people far more now than when I had a cell phone to distract me because I’m in the moment. I’m in the now. I’m not waiting for a call or text from someone. I’m with the friend or loved one I’m with. I mean WITH!

I made more minutes!

Every day, we’re all given twenty-four hours in which to accomplish everything we were born to do that day. When I was attached to my cell phone, I’d while away the hours and hours with some texting, some games, some messengers, some Facebooking, and many other past times. I am not saying those are bad, but they are massive time eaters for me. Once I no longer had those things to distract me, my creativity soared through the roof. I can pull off things I only imagined before I gave up my cell phone. I feel guilty if I don’t write, draw, paint, sketch, work material, or even visit with my tribe. Guilty because…well actually I don’t. I have time to do all the things I was born to do in this day. I can meet the world with my head looking up instead of down at a cell phone. I SEE people and have more time.

What began as a horror, has ironically, become a luxury. I am happier, more productive, I noticed the manacles of my identity haven’t been lost, but instead enhanced by not being forced to live in a little black box with a pretty case that I was never destined to live in at all. It’s been satisfying to me across the board. If you do decide to go old school and have a relatively good internet service provider, try the MagicJack Go. When you see how much it costs ($100 bucks for five years of service, I shit you not), you’ll see what I mean. Take control, my friend. Happiness is right in front of you.