I’m a multiple trauma warrior. I’ve seen some shit. Because of that, I’m primarily hyper-independent which is, in fact, a trauma response. When you can’t trust the people around you, you become self-sufficient at a level most people don’t realize. It makes asking for and accepting help extremely difficult.
After yesterday’s horrors, my bestie Jen contacted the people I was supposed to go see today and let them know what happened. They didn’t hesitate. They said they’d be up to see me instead. When I found this out, I told them thanks, but you don’t have to do that. Nonsense!
They arrived early this afternoon, Lori and Dave. Bless their beautiful hearts.
I’ve been thinking about love a lot lately. What it is, what it takes, what it gives, where do you find it, is it even real? It is.
They showed up, they brought me hugs, friendship, warmth, kindness, compassion, but most of all they showed me what love is. It’s about showing up. It’s about being available. It’s about sharing moments, stories, and time together. It’s about accepting one another just as they are. It’s a trust found in relationship. I can’t even begin to express how grateful I am for them making the trip up to make sure I was okay.
We walked together to the Coach museum, with a side-jaunt to get some ice cream (Poor Dave had motion sickness from being on the boat for 20 minutes), where I took assloads of pictures of some of the most ornate coaches I’ve ever seen. They practically carved statues onto these rolling monuments. I’m not even kidding. When I took the pictures, I took a picture of the name of each one. I took a picture of the description in English so I could remember what I was looking at. Then I took pictures of the many intricate details that were added to make sure that particular carriage/coach was the biggest and the best. I was surprised at the size of the wheels on those puppies. Many of them were taller than my 5’3″ tall height. Heck, some of the carvings on them were as big as me!
When I downloaded the pictures to my computer, none of them came up in order. I have no idea what is what. On top of that, many of the pictures I took before we got to the museum didn’t make it. They don’t exist according to my phone. BLAH!
One of the pictures I took was in Portuguese. It said, “Se isso custa a sua paz, e muito caro.” which means, “If it costs you your peace, it’s too expensive.” Another said, “School kills artists.” Graffiti for the sake of tagging doesn’t seem helpful or add to the beauty of the world, imho. But, when you can make the world a bit better by reminding them of a message that needs to be remembered, that’s what I appreciate. Kindness spray painted on a wall decorates instead of desecrates.
I had planned to make this a picture heavy post. My intention was to show you what I’ve seen, but how can I show you kindness that was given to me? How can I exude the love that I feel and was given? What could I possibly display that would show you how broken open my heart is for the people I love so dearly? I can’t.
What I can do is offer you my blessing:
May peace be with you wherever you are or go. You, yes you, are loved!
I went to bed last night at 9:30 PM Lisboa time (4:30 PM East Tennessee time) because I couldn’t keep my eyes open. I snuggled under the warm blanket and closed my eyes. I didn’t wake up until 9:30 AM because I had to use the facilities. It’s kind of like camping in the sense that I have to go to the building to use those facilities. I went to put my shoes on and realized that my body heat had caused considerable condensation inside the boat. Enough to soak my shoes. Nuts.
I stripped off my socks and made it safely out to get my other pair of shoes. I put my drenched pair out on the seats of the back of the boat to dry. I got dressed, put on my coat, and…it started to rain. Not just a little bit either. I quickly exited, locked up, and went to the building. I was soaked by the time I got there and it’s really not that far. Abuh. But, such is the life of a sailor, eh? (winky face).
I stepped back out after washing my hands to clear skies and sun. Uh, well, okay. I went back to the boat to change my clothes and dry my coat. I was still pretty tired so I laid down and slept for five more hours. Good Pete!
When I woke up for the day, I had to use the facilities again. No issues, by the way.
I pondered what to do. I like to keep busy doing something and, quite honestly, if I’m not busy, I feel like I should be doing SOMETHING. But, as my sensible friend Jen told me, sometimes taking care of yourself means doing nothing. So I didn’t for the entire afternoon.
Resistance
Rock, creak,
tug, squeak,
jolt, sway,
river, bay,
tilt, groan,
wind, blown
rythym right,
sweet goodnight.
At 4:30, I made another trip to the facilities because my Bolt car would arrive at 4:50 PM to take me to another art class. I made it to the pickup point ten minutes early and waited. I checked my app and it said I went to the address the evening before and charged me money for a ride I didn’t take. Abuh.
I found the support ticket submission after several failed attempts, plead my case, and awaited response. In the meantime, I had to get where I was scheduled to be. I called another Bolt. Within minutes a fine young man named Ivan picked me up.
We chatted about touristy stuff, as we passed a large group of police exiting their station, I became curious. I asked him what the letters mean. There are three different police units in the area. One is like a city police force. One is like a National Guard only with police privileges, and the other is like the US’s FBI. I thought about it and in the quiet I requested:
“May I ask you a question that may seem inappropriate, therefore you’re not required to answer. I won’t think you rude if you don’t.”
“Sure.” he replied darting in and out of traffic.
“In the United States, the relationship of the African American people with the police is horribly abusive. Being black could be a death sentence simply because you exist. Do you find that the same in this country?”
He thought about it. As he changed lanes he said, “Yes there is racial issues here too. All across Europe. Our police kill black people here, but not like what I hear about in the States.”
“I feel ashamed of how we treat other humans.” I told him. “I’m a Unitarian Universalist. One of our principles is Social Justice. It seems ridiculous to me to not love people.”
“It’s good to know there are people like you out here that are working to make a change.” He said as he pulled up to a stop light.
“I wonder if it’s shame that causes such hate. I mean, if I do something wrong and I’m ashamed of it, I’m not likely to be nice about it if someone starts poking the bear.”
“It’s complicated.” He sighed.
“I just want to love humans for who they are.” I stared out the window at the neighborhood. There was graffiti on many of the walls, but the streets were relatively clean. People were walking everywhere, going in and out of shops, stepping in front of the many cars packing in bumper to bumper.
“Thank you, Ivan. I appreciate your willingness to answer a difficult question.” I spoke with sincerity.
“You’re welcome. We’ll change the world.” He laughed which made me laugh.
When we arrived at my destination, I wished I could have given him a hug. Instead I gave him a tiny yellow duck. He laughed again and thanked me. I tipped him through the app.
My Destination
I arrived at Agathe’s studio with anticipation. I walked up the three stories to her apartment. It smelled like spice with a hint of floral. Stepping into her work area was like being at home. There were various projects at different stages of completion, bins overflowing with supplies, jars of brushes, multiple paints, and a fantastic view (which I didn’t get a picture of, sorry) that could be seen from her plant filled balcony.
The table was set up with 8 stations. It turned out there was a group coming who were celebrating a birthday by joining the class. They were nearly a half hour late in arriving and I was already well into designing my unique tile.
Already finished the outlining, starting on the watercolor part.
When they did arrive, they came in cloudy with laughter. They were on a girl’s trip, they explained, so they were having difficulty finalizing plans. They sat down quickly. Agathe ran through the same procedure with them, but it wasn’t as relaxed because they were pushing time. We were the fourth and final workshop of the day. She was tired, but not impatient.
They caught up to me pretty quickly. I finished with my design just before the first of their group did.
My finished design before Agathe worked her magic on it.
They brought wine with them. They offered some to me which I declined. I’m not a teetotaler by any stretch of the imagination, but it’s not something that interests me either. Agathe broke out the wine glasses and the group toasted the birthday woman.
One by one they finished their works. There were a lot of oopsie’s and one woman kept saying oopsie-doodle whenever she made an error. It made me giggle.
Agathe took the finished pieces and worked her magic. When mine was done I honestly couldn’t believe what I’d created. I love it!
Yes, that’s on an actual tile with a cork backing. (Agathe comes from France originally. When she says cork with her accent it comes out sounding like cock).
I purchased a couple of gifts for my people back home, decided I was hungry so I asked Agathe where she goes out to eat. She said she doesn’t typically but when she does she goes to a few places nearby. I chose one she mentioned.
The place was pretty busy but the serving staff were prompt, polite, and efficient. If you’re vegan or vegetarian, don’t read the next sentence. Lamb Korma with jasmine rice, hot chamomile tea, sparkling water, and the last picture is of a homemade mango ice cream they make there every day. My tastebuds are drooling with happiness.
As I stepped outside after paying my bill, I hailed another Bolt car to return me to the boat. The street was busy with people and cars. It had the feeling of community. Like, the people who lived there really were included in the daily life of where they lived. It was a good feeling.
Looking up the street from the restaurant.
On the way back to the boat, I saw this pizza place which made me laugh out loud.
When I got back to the marina, I had to…use the facility. Well that serves two purposes because I won’t have to go back out again for quite a while and second if you’ve eaten Indian food when it’s not common fare, then you understand.
The European places I’ve visited are pretty big on water and electric conservation. Many places have motion sensor lights in them to save on energy. I’m totally down with that. However.
As I sat in the bathroom, taking care of my business meeting, it occurred to me as the light repeatedly shut off in my room that they didn’t take into account long periods of not moving. I had to keep sitting on the throne waving like a queen.
And that’s how my day went. May peace be with you wherever you are or go. You are loved!
My day today was rather uneventful. I had to get quite creative with what I have on hand to keep warm. 55 degrees doesn’t sound that cold, but when you’re trying to sleep, believe me it is. But, I wrote it off to the cost of boat living because it’s not like I know. I’m a land-lubber.
Today, the host contacted me to check in and see how everything was going. He asked if it got cold at night. Why, yes. Yes, it does. His reply was filled with dismay. He brought me a thick warm blanket so I won’t have to wear a sweater, use my shawl/airplane blanket/bathtowel for a blanket. SQUEE! It’s the little things.
I found out that the guy I hollered Ahoy to yesterday as he parked his sailboat wins every race he enters. He’s top notch at sailing. Really nice fellow, smiles and waves when he sees me.
OH! I also needed supplies. I needed water, some food, and a snack. I found where the local grocery was, despite the rain, I rented an electric assisted bike. I bundled up, got my grocery bags into my purse where I keep my tissues (heehee), and headed out into the drizzle.
Siri does a much better job at giving directions than Google maps does. I have my Siri set to a british male voice so I can pretend it’s Doctor Who talking to me.
Whomever was the idiot that said once you ride a bike, you always know how, did not understand how a short person like me should or could ride a bike made for “normal” height people. With the scooters and the bike, you have to push off to get going. Dudes, this was not something I expected to relearn. My front wheel was going back and forth like a sewing machine’s needle goes up and down. The road was a cobblestone/asphalt combination which made for some potholes and rough riding.
When I got to a smoother road, I was able to figure out how to tiptoe pedal. As long as I was steady pedaling, the bike pulled me forward easily (SCORE!) but the moment I stopped pedaling, the drag slowed me down equally as quick. (YIKES!) Trick: Keep pedaling steadily. Do not stop pedaling.
I got lost several times because the instructions told me to turn where there wasn’t a street. When I turned on the next possible street, her exasperated (I swear it’s true) voice corrects my lack of navigation skills even though they’re hers. But, I just kept pedaling because to stop would be to fall over.
I found the grocery, got my things I needed, exited and it was really raining. I figured I was already damp so I’d bite the pillow and just do it. But, the groceries I got, really not that much, 22 Euro 50, wouldn’t fit in the basket of the bike. I was getting soaked and uncomfortable. I walked back to the store’s overhang and called a Bolt (Eco-friendly Green) car.
A ten-minute ride and I was at the dock. She was really personable and friendly. I enjoyed her company. Her name was Ana.
And now, what happened last night? I went to a studio called The House of Tile. A local artist owns the shop and teaches people how to paint tiles in the styles of the Portuguese people. She was kind, helpful, a patient teacher, and played good music which I sang with and even danced a bit.
The class was about two hours long. There were three other people there learning how to do it. One of the techniques she taught was one that I’ve used before to get lines onto a pumpkin I wanted to carve in a non-traditional way. She had tricks and tips to make the experience an all skills activity.
Between you and me, Ana was magical. She could make things happen instantly. Her repeat phrase when questions were asked was “It’s your tile, do as you like.” She gave the tools, told and showed you how to use them, then let your creativity do the rest.
A trip to the bathroom discovered this beauty on shelves filled with creations.This is a cock. It’s a symbol of luck and prosperity. I have to forbid myself because there are colorful roosters in every souvenir shop I poked around in yesterday. Must resist…Ana supplied water or coffee while we painted our designs. The little plastic pots are the glazes. The wood keeps your hands from getting on your project.
I’ll return to her studio on Wednesday afternoon to collect my fired tile. I’ll show you when it’s complete.
The first night I was on the boat, I was seasick. I slept with a trashcan on the bed next to me. Now, it would seem, I’ve got my sea-legs. I’m not at all bothered by the steady, sometimes jerky movements of the boat. The sleeping berth has a rope tied over it which is tied to the dock. It creaks and groans, stretches and relaxes. It’s oddly soothing.
May peace be with you wherever you are or go. You are loved!
The title is misleading, I know. I read it and picture a couple of equine’s reclined while indulging in some “funny” grass. But it’s not about that.
Besides bouncing a ball back and forth, it’s my job to encourage my client to take walks to maintain mobility. Sometimes he gets cranky and will only walk in the yard which is not very interesting. And then there are days like today when we get to walk down the country lane to a side road that borders a field with four horses. I’ve described them to you, but today, I got pictures!
Chinaberries, variegated bi-color leaves.
That last picture is a fire hydrant. The red top comes up and off. There is a cylinder inside. I saw some municipal workers clearing out the interior of one. It’s an interesting design. I don’t know how effective it is, but they evidently work because they get maintained.
While we walk, we talk about different things. His voice is quiet so I lean in to hear his take on things. He was genuinely delighted that the one horse was so close to us. I like when he laughs. He doesn’t do it often, but when he does, it’s magic.
I can’t see out of the small window in my small room, but I got brave tonight because I could see the sky. There is a short slanted roof below the window. The first picture is pretty much straight out the window. I angled up and down the street to see what it looks like. The sky was prettier in person. My fear was in dropping my phone while trying to see outside.
While at my client’s house, their daughter was in town from her bike-ride across Europe. She and I talked about how looking a fool is something you need to get comfortable with really quick because with the language barrier, charades is sometimes the best you can do. She disclosed that she also shops by picture and was slightly embarrassed that she couldn’t speak French as fluently as she thought she could.
She’s really a great human. I like her very well.
Why can’t we have nice things like this? This is across from the bus stop in the Cairon Commerces. To the left of this is a recycle and trash station. It’s clean, cozy, and peaceful. The horse that stared at me is farther to the left of this pictutre.
I don’t know if it was the internet where I was or what the deal may have been, but it absolutely would not allow me to upload ANY pictures. In fact, it gave me an error today about pictures I’ve already posted. Murg.
But! I was beside myself with glee yesterday. The drive today was lovely. The air was just right coming in the window. The sun was shining and when I came up over a crest of a hill, it was like Brigadoon showing up in front of me. I “Oh, wow!”-ed outloud.
What a spirit-fulfilling day. I feel a deep sense of peace. I have a sense of a withdrawn/inclusion of self. I am not sure how to express what I’m feeling. I visited the leaning church (The outside pictures of the church are not from Saint-Jean, they’re from a church in Honfleur).
While inside I witnessed some faithful praying on bent knee or at the very least bent heads. I found pamphlets that described the veneration of the church’s saints. I previously shared about the artist that created the stained glass windows in the mid 60’s-late 70’s, they were richly crafted. Pictures can’t quite capture the look and effect of the sunshine dancing rainbows through the textured glass.
I sat outside the church in a paver topped park. I sat on the bench facing west. I could see the major bus routes converging nearby. I watched people walking in a variety of paces to various places. The dopplar of French voices waved over me as a bouquet of floral scented young women echoed passed by. The fashion went from snappy tan leather dress shoes beneath a cream-colored linen suit carefully styled with a khaki light colored trench coat to over the knee black leather boots and a slap of fabric covering the important parts in a striking red and a miniscule white tank shirt knotted at the front.
I watched a verbal fight break out between a man on an electric scooter and the driver of a car that I’m guessing drove too close to the scooter-rider. It was heated, loud, and two other men were holding back the torrent of imminent violence. With a bit of physicality from the protectors of the combatants, the rage dissipated in a poof of raised fingers.
I tugged my suitcase up the flights of stairs, which I now count in halfs to make it easier for my mind to accept the exercise, I unpacked my things, restored my sense of order and rested. This is a great day.
I’m pretty sure I can be the butt of a good cosmic joke. I know I was today. I was scheduled to pick up the mini-car at noon, last transaction before they close for two hours for lunch. They really do that. A LOT of places basically say “Piss off” for two hours. The car rental place was one of them.
I arrived on time, got all the paperwork started, got out my credit card that I JUST got the bill for that said I owed $0.00 because I paid it off before the trip. Apologies, a phone call to the bank, and it turns out the car place was charging me $5.47 over my limit. Oh for the love of Pete! It got my goat a bit because I’ve rented from this company before without a large deposit or anything. It was toot-sweet to do it which is why I did it this time.
The shop closed up and I kept at it until I found out what the issues were and resolved them. I waited for the lunch time to pass. I stopped in a bakery and got a croissant and a double espresso. I was people watching because I hit right before the lunch rush. It was fantastic. Directly across from the window where I sat watching was a mural with a smaller one next to it.
And what to my wondering eyes should appear?! But a CHICKEN!
It was to my delight that it was on a building that said “Climb Up!” Pathe’! didn’t translate.
I had to do something to kill time, so I took a couple of pictures of things I truly appreciate about Europe. The trains, the street signs, the walkways, bike lanes, hardly any potholes. Honestly, we have nothing on European transportation. They have it dang near mastered as far as I can tell.
One o’clock rolled around and I went down to wait by the closed rental place. I happened to meet a father and daughter from Minneapolis/St. Paul Minnesota! We chit-chatted for a bit, well I did. Silence just isn’t my game. I do it because I have to, but dude, ENGLISH! I take my language for granted so much. Every person I’ve spoken with, in some capacity, speaks more languages that the average American. That’s rather shameful considering we’re supposed to be global.
I let them go first because they had a tighter time frame than I did. I even told them about Miss Marge Swenson! Minnesota was her home state while she grew up. When it was my turn, the woman listened as I explained what the deal with my card was. With a bit of nip-and-tuck, she was able to complete the transaction completely smooth.
I was lead out to a Fiat 500 EV. No shit. Not only is it an electric vehicle, BUT it turned out to be an automatic! WOOT! She gave me the basics, including pushing a button to open the door…no. No latches, just a button. Could you imagine NOT being told that and trying to get out? Talk about a really stupid reason to call roadside assistance.
Because I got delayed by two hours, I had to kind of haul ass to make my check-in time and my appointment time. I was so intimidated by driving. I learned quickly that the moment you let off the accelerator in an EV, the speed drops pretty darned quick. It’s not like a hybrid that is similar to the gasoline engine I’m used to. Plus side, it was relatively easy to maintain speed.
Boy do they love round-abouts here. I can’t tell you how many I went through on my trip, but there were more than I’ve ever done before. They do keep the traffic moving pretty well overall. They’re not difficult to use, but they are a bit cumbersome the first go-round…ask me how I know. Facepalm!
I arrived in Honfleur at 3:40PM (1540). I met with the owner of the place I’m staying. It’s a charming home with paintings she did on the walls. There is a front room, a kitchen behind that, a spacious bathroom, and a soothing bedroom at the back of the apartment.
Her name is Sylvie. She clearly loves where she lives. The painting on the far left is her favorite of her work.
Off to my appointment I went after checking into the lovely home.
Once I found the studio, I went in the wrong door. I’m telling you, I mean well, but getting lost here is a thing. I found the right door and the woman named Mireille greeted me warmly. She brushed aside my apologies for my getting lost. She was listening to Oasis turned on low. She had a canvas on my side, a canvas on her side, so many colors, so many choices, so many brushes. Pardon me, but I practically drooled in anticipation.
She spoke a little English so we communicated mostly with pointing, exagerrated movements and, because we had paint on our hands, Siri. We painted and enjoyed each other. She showed me techniques that I hadn’t thought of but really were duh type of things. She encouraged highlights and lowlights. She was fiddling around on hers, showing me different things. SQUEE!
For whatever reason, the pictures won’t upload. I’ll have to share them tomorrow. I’ll also share the photos of her studio, the restaurant she showed me where I had divine food and a glass of wine from the region. Hopefully the internet will bless me with a better connection tomorrow.
In a way I feel as if I’ve let you down since you’ve been so kind to keep up with my adventures and exploits. However, I do need a day of rest. I took that today. I’ve been up to reading, napping, texting, and generally preparing for my adventure tomorrow.
I’m heading to the main bus station late morning tomorrow to pick up a rental car. A manual mini. Then I’m going to drive from Mondeville (a suburb of Caen) to Honfleur. It’s about an hour away according to Google maps. I chose a route that is a bit longer but there aren’t any tolls on the road.
I’m going to stay overnight and drive back on Friday morning.
To tell you the truth, I’m a filled with a bit of anxiety about this trip. I haven’t driven in nearly a month. I haven’t driven a stick shift vehicle in longer than that…I think three years or so. I’ve never driven a mini-car before, nor have I driven on French roads. Although I have an idea where I’m going, the actual journey is going to be a wild one simply because I don’t know.
My uncertainty isn’t going to prevent me from going. I mean, if I’d let my trepidation take hold, I’d never have come to a foreign country in the first place. But exploring a town on foot and by bus is a slightly different creature than driving it. I really wish I had a sign to put in the back of my window to let other drivers know I’m new here, cut me some slack!
I’ll have a better story and pictures tomorrow to share. I look forward on taking you with me.
On today’s excursion to the bus stop, I found this church with a distinctive tilt. I noted the street where I found it with the note to self to look it up when I returned to the apartment.
Church of Saint-Jean de Caen
This church was originally built in the seventh century at a crossroads of the lower valley of the Orne. This became the main route between Bayeux and Lisieux which evolved into Exmoisine road, and currently on rue Saint-Jean.
Now why anyone would build a church in a bog, who knows. This church is no stranger to destruction from wars. It has been rebuilt several times. In 1944, although the tilted tower stood, the rebuilding of the sanctuary removed the last remnants of the Roman influence.
In 1969, an artist, Danièle Perré, was asked to replace the windows in l’eglise Saint Jean. The resulting work is simply beautiful. With light touches of abstract design, colorful depictions of faith and love, a new breath was breathed into the revitalized church.
The history of the places I’m seeing is like rooting through an old trunk in the attic. It’s discovering lost treasures that were there all along. I have described it as feeling like history is pulsing in my blood, but I don’t know that it’s exactly like that.
It is more like looking through a dirty pair of glasses. I can see the contemporary buildings because they’re obvious. But if I clean my glasses a bit, I can step further back in time, to when the restoration took place. If I use a cleaner on my eyewear, I can see into the past like a magic mirror exposing architectural secrets to the sharp view now afforded. It’s a new way to observe what is preserved instead of destroyed.
I traveled to Rosel today. I went through the routine of exercises with him. I had to coax him a bit to go for a walk. He finally relented. We walked down the narrow rural road to the corner where there are four horses in a huge field. There is a black one, a dark brown, a light brown, and a white horse. Three males and a female.
We must have caught their attention because after we turned around, the horses came over to the fence to greet us. The black and the white ones were first. They eyeballed us up and down keeping pace with our awkward movement. The other two joined in and walked us down to the corner. It was joyful for me and seemed to brighten my client’s mood as well.
I’m planning a trip to Honfleur for an overnight on Thursday. I’m going to meet and paint with an artist there. I’m also going to drive for the first time in France in a stick shift car (Yes, I know how to drive one. I was taught to drive in one.)
When I was describing the plans to my client’s wonderful wife, she was impressed with how organized I am when it comes to going places. “I know what I want and I make it happen.” She said she wanted to get a painting or a sign of that saying because it was a good life lesson. I don’t suppose I should amend that to say, “If nobody else can help, do it yourself.” Which is the real reason I am going to drive there. I had rides set up twice but one was on the wrong day, the other got cancelled because the driver wanted to spend more time in Caen than he thought.
With all the things that have bowed to the whimsy of Murphy’s Law this trip, I’m just abiding. I sail along whatever waters there are. I don’t have the friend resource here like back home, so I have to make sure I take care of myself, my well being, my safety, and my adventures to the best of my ability. So far, I’ve been enjoying the flow of the days.
I have spent the last twelve days in an apartment in the middle of Caen. It feels comfortable enough to poop with the door open. Oh, come on! You know that kind of freedom is a luxury! I’m reluctant to begin the packing process, although I won’t have to do it again for another 20 days.
What does home mean to me? I’ve been thinking about this all day since my life has become rather transient since I arrived here. I have walked more here because I can that I ever did back in Tennessee. I’ve done this solo. Although I get to work with my clients regularly, I’m on my own the rest of the time.
In the Captain’s chair (which is what I call where I like to sit in my kitchen), I feel at home. I’m surrounded by my things that I’ve collected. Each item has a story behind it of how I got it, who it came from, where I got it, what the sentimental value is to me. It feels safe.
Home is a haven for me. It’s a place where I can think at my own pace. I can clean or not. I can interact with the world or not. It’s a place where the coffee is always a brew away and the door is open to my friends (family by appointment!). It’s the place where I can be honest with myself about what it is that I actually want to do with my time. It’s a place where I make my own decisions about my life. It’s my space.
Here I am today with a different take on it.
The walls here are without ornamentation. They are plain white with deep red curtains hanging around the three windows that fill the room with natural light during the day and an annoying security light by night. (I just figured out I could pull the curtains last night, OY!). But home? This is where I am. This is where I’m staying, but I’m still me.
I thought home was a place as I’ve described, but it’s transmogrifying in my perception. Home is where I am. Home is the feeling of purpose and belonging. Right now I feel like I belong to the world. The space I take up here, although small by physical standards, is an explosion of my senses. It’s a courage and bravery that I suspected and had periodically reinforced with choices, but dudes, I can’t even speak the language here!
I’m doing it. I’m taking in everything I can see. Each time I ride the bus I see something I hadn’t noticed before. I’m engaging with life in a silent role out of necessity. I don’t have to make small talk. I don’t have to fill silence. I can just be. It’s been the ultimate practice of Dudeism for me.
I got up this morning and went to the laundromat. I washed what needed to be including the towels and pillowcases I’ve used. I didn’t do the sheets though because I’m still going to use them tonight. While I was waiting, the double espresso kicked in. I needed to use the restroom. I asked the location manager where the nearest bathroom was. She directed me to a Tabac/Brassiere down the street. I followed her directions (her pointing), found it but it was closed.
I returned to the laundry. She asked if I went. Non. Closed. She gestured for me to follow her. She brought me into a room behind the dryers that was filled with clothes in various states of neatness. In the corner was a lidless toilet. Merci!
With all that accomplished, laundry warm out of the dryer, I folded what I had and stored it in my rolling buggy. Good stuff, that.
I had a doctor’s appointment at 1PM (7AM in East Tennessee) for a prescription refill. The woman behind the reception desk didn’t speak English but a tiny bit. Like me, mostly numbers. With a little help from my trusty companion, we conversed enough for me to know I was paying a whopping 25 Euros to see the doctor. No kidding.
The doctor was pleasant, spoke English, explained how my prescription was going to be filled (in a box not a bottle) and I have to go back in 30 days to get the other half of the prescription. He also prescribed me lancets because I didn’t bring enough with me. He wasn’t pleased that he could only do 30 days at a time, but I got the prescription so I’m a happy camper.
He had a scale in his office. I asked if I could check my weight. He enthusiastically agreed. As it turns out, walking does wonders for ones weight. I’ve lost nearly six pounds since being here. I’m still eating mostly like an American, but I’m walking everywhere. Grocery store? No problem. Walk. Pharmacie? Close enough to walk. Laundromat? Down the road and around the corner a bit. I’m absolutely enthusiastic about the walkability here.
As I was walking to the bus stop to catch the bus to my job (37 minutes by bus), I passed by the headquarters of Twisto (The public bus company in Caen. They also rent bicycles by the hour, I’m debating). I wanted to know when my month pass expires but I couldn’t figure out how to find that information. A friendly woman tried to help me, but she wasn’t familiar with the app either. Her supervisor wasn’t sure either. Several phone calls later, multiple times hearing my name spelled out in French, and they had an answer. Since the infinite use ticket is good for a month, it goes from the first time you board the bus. Each time it’s validated, it checks against that date. Good to know.
As I waited at the stop, I got thirsty. I went to the MonoPrix store that was not even a block away. I picked up a couple of drinks and some croissants (Buy 3 get one free! WOOT!) I pulled out my handy foldable bag, loaded the goods, and off I went. By the way, dollar bills aren’t a thing here. They have coins. 1 penny, a nickel, a dime, twenty cents, fifty cents, 1 Euro, 2 Euro. I’ve been hesitant to pay with the coins because it gives me a bit of anxiety. Today was different. I counted out the coins with little trouble. Gold star on my forehead!
Back at the stop, I decided to eat a croissant. An ordinary pigeon with two toes on one foot that didn’t appear to be hindering its stroll, walked around in front of me. What the deuce? I tossed a tiny piece to the bird. That was like an alarm siren going off because almost immediately there were about eight of them hunting by my feet.
These are just a few of them. They have such unusual coloring compared to what I’m used to seeing. The bird practically in the middle had a dark green ring of feathers around his neck with a purple (although it looks brown in this picture) ascot. That was a really pretty bird. They all were. I gave them a bit more and watched them battle for crumbs. When I put it like that, it doesn’t sound quite as pleasant as what I experienced.
After getting my prescription filled on my way back from work, I was walking through that bistro area I described before. It was filled with what looked like University students. Every chair was filled with lively conversation, lots of cigarettes, and beer. Off to the side was a trio of men, likely in their mid 20’s.
One of them men was laying down, tucked up against the building with his coat pulled over his head. He was sleeping. The dude on my left, in front of the sleeping man, had long, dirty blonde hair that had braids sporadically placed. He looked like he was pretty high because his eyes were nearly closed, bloodshot from what I could see, and his body swayed as if gravity was coaxing him to do the wave.
The man to my right had quite the collection of sketches splayed out on the ground. As I approached, he was having a conversation with a pretty curly haired blonde girl whose arm was in an immobilizer. Her friend kept looking up the road where all the people were gathered as if silently imploring her friend to leave. When they did, I stepped up to admire his work. I asked how much, but he didn’t understand. A woman dressed in combat fatigues that fit her very well, translated. He said, free choice. I selected the ones you see here, plus one you don’t. I asked his name.
I told him it was important to credit the artist when you like their work. He gave me this.
I have two family members in the hospital right now. One is in rehab gaining strength to go home, the other is in ICU on oxygen after being rushed to the hospital by ambulance. Covid. Their spouse also tests positive so they can’t visit their very sick partner. Say a prayer if you got’em. P.S. My mom is out of the hospital and doing pretty well considering.
I’ve dawdled long enough. Off to pack for my move in the morning. Thank you for reading. You are loved!
I have failed to take pictures today. I thought I did, or maybe I thought the pictures in my head, but I didn’t document anything today. You’ll have to deal with my storytelling of which I’m not sorry.
I was up shortly before 9AM (3AM EDT). I sat on my bed deciding what I wanted to do for the day. When I went to the laundromat yesterday, I saw a shop with beautiful things in its window. I visited an organic shop where they actually had oatmilk, on the shelf. Apparently this is common and also why I couldn’t find it at the larger grocery. Shelf-stable milk is a thing here.
I promised my return after work which I’m sure that shopkeeper hears all the time, but dude, seriously, oatmilk. Cow’s milk doesn’t taste the way it did when I was younger. Even my excitement at getting cream on the milk didn’t make it any more palatable. I was excited to get what I’m accustomed to back home.
I rode the bus out to my stop, but almost missed it because I was engaged in a book by the author, Frieda McFadden. I recently read two of her books, The Housemaid and The Housemaid’s Secret which were really good books in that they were entertaining with some plot twists that were satisfying. The book I’m reading now is called, Never Lie. I’m pretty sure I’ve figured this one out already, but I’m going to keep reading to see if I’m right or not.
I walked through the countryside aware of the flowers clinging to brightness, the ones who had passed their prime, the smell of the grass and cow flops, the sound of the cars passing me, the taste of the cool water that I refreshed myself with, the air not moving in my damndably hot pants that look so nifty. The stone that got caught in the bottom of my boot annoyed me enough for me to pry it out of the sole. I didn’t take the way my GPS told me, I took the road that passes the horses instead.
On my way to that road, I happened upon a sign that read: Oefs frais biologiques (Fresh organic eggs). My curiousity got the better of me and I wandered up to the small shed that had an open door. The left wall (nearest the road) was filled with decorative hay bales that had a price marked in chalk on the wall above them. On the back wall there was a locked mailbox that said Peiement (Payment). There was an open slot on the top. In chalk on a board were written the prices for the goods layed out on the shelf farthest from the road. There were dozens of eggs, cartons, and pressed oil made on the farm. Above each item, written on the wooden walls in chalk were the prices that were on the chalkboard.
Knowing that my client was having company for the next several days, I decided to bring them a gift. I selected and packaged a fresh dozen of brown eggs. I dug out my handy folded bag and packaged the purchase. I pondered and decided the oil was a good idea too. I put the Euros in the box as requested and returned to my trek.
As I turned down the road that would become the street they live on, I noted that the sides of the narrow road rose up steeply on one side, but were relatively level on the side I was walking on. The shade from the trees granted me relief from the sun, despite the cooling air.
As I was turning the corner, three houses from theirs, I recieved a message asking if I’d work Tuesday and Wednesday. I replied with “Uh, I’m actually at your gate right now. If you don’t need me, may I please use the restroom before I return to the city.” Instead of replying, she opened the gate and welcomed me with a warm hug.
Last week, I worked Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday because I’d just arrived in Caen and she wanted me to get acclimated to my neighborhood. This week, and each week after, I’m supposed to work the three days, more if required. I conveyed that understanding to her and the lightbulb came on over her head (not literally). Ironed out the wrinkles and we have a schedule and a plan.
They asked me if I’d be willing to go with them to a museum called Le musee de la bataille de Normandie. They want to go while their grandchildren are in school since they show little interest in the history of where they’re currently living. We set a time and I will make sure my client is safe, steady, and comfortable.
What I didn’t expect was the conversation after she asked me if I’d been to the Caen Memorial yet. No, I admitted. I went to the Abbey d’ Homme instead. I told her of the things I learned about William the Conqueror. Her eyes lit up. She asked if I wanted to hear a story. Of course I do!
She told me how William’s wife, Matilda of Flanders, came to be wed to him. It was a great story with rejection, acceptance, and love. Then she asked if I wanted to know why William, in his youth, was called William the Bastard. My eyes got big and I encouraged her to continue. I already knew he was called that, but I wasn’t sure why.
The gossipy version of the story told of a young Duke of Normandie living in the Chateau de Normandie with a bunch of his knights. He was in his late teens at the time. One day he was looking out his window toward the river when a group of village girls showed up to wash clothes in the water. One girl caught his eye in a big way.
So much did this beauty capture his imagination that he sent his knights to discover who she was (A Tanner’s only daughter and only child) and to tell her to come to the castle at his request. The knights set out to do their Lord’s bidding.
When they found her father, they asked him to tell his daughter to come to the castle. He said, “That’s really up to Herleva. You’ll have to see what she wants to do.” So they did.
The peasant girl, Herleva, said the only way she’d visit is if there were certain criteria met. First, no sneaking through back doors, she was to cross the drawbridge like a lady. Second, she was to be provided a horse to ride because she wasn’t going to show up all sweaty to this meeting, and finally, Robert I, the Duke, had to personally invite her to his home. The dubious knights returned to the castle with the requirements for the young woman’s visit.
To their surprise, Robert I readily agreed and offered an official invitation, provided a horse, and lowered the drawbridge. They met and talked for several days. Duke Robert I was smitten, and apparently she was too. Shortly after the visit began, she sent word back to her father that she was going to stay in the castle.
Several months after that, William was born out of wedlock to the Duke and Herleva. He was considered a bastard because it wasn’t possible, because of their different stations in life, for them to marry.
That didn’t stop Duke Robert from taking good care of his son. But the weight of his sin, of having a child out of wedlock, bore heavy on his soul. He went to Herleva and told her that he was seeking redemption from his sin. The only way he could see that happening was if he participated in the Second Crusade. She objected because it was basically a death sentence that many didn’t return from. He reassured her that he would return.
To make sure that his son remained cared for, he enlisted his most trusted friends to insure that William would not only be protected at all costs, but that if anything should happen to the Duke, William, as his only son and rightful heir, would be given the title of Duke. His friends agreed.
Ironically, the Duke Robert I was returning from the crusades when he died. His friends had protected the young William and fulfilled their promise to Robert. It nearly caused a civil war because many didn’t want the bastard to be put in a position of power, while the other camp kept vigilant. History tells us, the friends won the battle and William the bastard became William the Conqueror.
My client’s wife ended her story with a flourish. She was delighted that she could share the knowledge with me. Me too, really. When history is told in stories, making the names in history books come to life, to be human, it really gets it for me. I mean, who doesn’t want to learn the stories that make boring dates and names come to life again? Okay, anyone? Is it just me?
Tomorrow there will be pictures, I promise. Thank you for indulging my fascination with this part of the world by following my adventures. It really means a lot to me to see when people read what I’ve written. It motivates me to continue to share what I’m learning, experiencing, and witnessing.
P.S. My mom is still in the hospital because she can’t eat anything. Liquids seem to be okay, but that’s not good for long term. They’re putting her on high powered antacids in hopes of getting whatever is pissed off and causing her pain when she eats to settle down and behave. She sounds irritated that she’s still incarcerated in the hospital (HA!) but she seems to accept that until they understand why she can’t eat, it’s just how it is.
Life is a patchwork of moments — laughter, solitude, everyday joys, and quiet aches. Through scribbled stories, I explore travels both far and inward, from sunrise over unfamiliar streets to the comfort of home. This is life as I see it, captured in ink and memory. Stick around; let's wander together.
Mare Martell 