Do not be afraid

As you are an ocean of tears, so are you a world of forgiveness. A haven of justice filtered through human imperfections that allows opportunity for love with each challenge to your comfort.

You possess free will enough to elect whether you embrace change or if you allow fear to petrify your heart into jaded segments. How can you gaze upon a child’s pain with no desire to make the world innocent for them; for yourself?

It is inevitable that your faithful trust in your brethren will be accosted with confusion or anger towards your generosity. But, the price you pay now, will be small compared to the cost of refusal should you deny your righteous compass.

Turn to your true north, even being different than your friends, to find what makes your spirit, your very essence scream with the ecstasy of rapturous delight. Give permission to yourself to be extraordinarily outstanding in a world that only allows what is nurtured to bloom and grow.

If you find yourself in the forest of darkness with bruised, bloodied, or damaged limbs falling from your own family tree, notice where they’re planted. See how shallow or how deeply those roots linger in the earth by releasing your primal self to its care.

Drink from the knowledge of the river bend that granted your ancestors life to flood your own flesh. Sing in the voice of your grandmother, your grandfather, and those back to the beginning of time’s pacing.

Decree your path without word because what you say can be erased, what you do is how you progress through your life unhindered; calling like-minded to your shores. The shores of the ocean of tears that surrounds your world of forgiveness are yours for the sake of personal redemption.

I’m a human, not a lady

Sometimes I surprise myself with writings I did a while ago and found in my archives. Right now I’m sitting in an entirely different location than I was when I originally wrote this, but the feelings are still reflecting in my behaviors.

Mare Martell's avatarMare Martell

I am not a good girl I am not a good girl

Why do I need to act like a “lady?” What does that even mean? Be a yes, sir, no ma’am demure wall flower in hopes that I’ll get picked to be the next Cinderella? Does that mean I have to put someone else before me always and pray that my needs get met because I was a good girl and followed the rules?

Why do I need to play like a boy when I can be a woman and ditch cars, ride horses, bake cakes, kick dirt, saw wood, paint wordy pictures, dream just like any other human? Why does that even have to have a gender placed on it? We all know what we can do, why separate the two?

Why do I have to be respectable in public when the public slut shames my gender? Starts war upon my sisters with horrible…

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Setting down the son

I wanted to love you beyond reason

to tuck you under warm blankets

inhale the scent of your freshly bathed skin

pressing my lips to your cool forehead

stroking your hair back from your face

so I could memorize it until dawn.

I wanted to embrace you with hugs

to protect you from the angry, vengeful world

to be your advocate for justice until you spoke

your first words in defense of your right to exist

that I could offer you a vocabulary for peace

that would last throughout your lifetime

I wanted family intimacy to gestate organically

with inside jokes created with one another

stories built upon our common history

beliefs based on a mutual understanding

goals set and met together in blood-line unity

Cherished memories transmogrified into legends

BUT

I stand here holding a bin full of dusty artifacts

every imagining I’d dreamed about abandoned

discarded into a tornadic swipe of desolation

Emptied of sacredness into the seasonal winds

My love, hugs, and hope for a family with you

have perished due to your intentional self-destruction

I mourn for you as if you had passed the veil

I see evidence of you in portraits lying happily

with smiles that don’t eat your eyes with joy

except for mine which shine with implicit trust

passionate encouragement radiates towards you

so brightly that you cringed away, scalded by love

that didn’t hurt but should have flayed your skin

because that’s what you were taught by my blood

I wish you peace.

I wish you love.

I wish you happiness.

I wish you a life worth living.

I wish you to know that I’d do it all again.

10 Behaviors of Genuine People

In a world of phony fads, media hype, virtual personas, and personal brands, being genuine is becoming an endangered quality.

Author and Contributing Writer for entrepreneur.com offers up wisdom.

I am in the habit of behaving this way. How many of these do you meet on a daily basis?

Source: 10 Behaviors of Genuine People

Not Soon Enough

I wrote this poem a year ago but since the final ending has not occurred, I reblog this as a prayer for peace of mind.

Mare Martell's avatarMare Martell

To be placed in saint’s clothing as if death redeemed

The unresolved battles that forced childhood screams

From the mouths of his children starvation abounds

For the three little words that nary met sound

From his lips that lay silent and poison the earth

From his violent life that began with his birth

There will be no clock hands stopped in his honor

No looking glasses covered now that he’s a goner

There will be no wailing with heartbeats bereft

Absent black cotton gloves like W. H. Auden suggests

No kerchiefs stained with tears to be tucked into pockets

No loving memories or pictures in lockets

No words of compassion for the soul left to cry

That embraced angry notions and turned a blind eye

There are no clothes befitting to cover his bones

He chose life without love. He perished alone.

What clothes shall be placed on the dead…

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Happy 7th Anniversary, Ben Stotler

We celebrate our 8th Anniversary and I haven’t changed my mind. It’s always been him.

Mare Martell's avatarMare Martell

It’s Always Been You

This was taken on our wedding day November 3rd, 2007 (Ben's birthday too). We were wed at 129 Andy Fox Lane in Clinton, TN with a bonfire we lit together, falling leaves, and our loved ones surrounding us. This was taken on our wedding day November 3rd, 2007 (Ben’s birthday too). We were wed at 129 Andy Fox Lane in Clinton, TN with a bonfire we lit together, falling leaves, and our loved ones surrounding us. Each year since, I’ve given my husband a poem to commemorate our love, grateful for another year to spend with my best friend. This year it’s a song but I don’t have the talent to write the music, so I post the lyrics. He’s the best husband I’ve ever had.

I looked for love

Each time that I thought I’d had it

I’d reach out my heart to nab it

But like smoke and mirrors

It disappeared

That went on for years

As I tried to hold and grab it…

Until you.

It’s always been you

Each time that I deeply breathe

As far as I can farthest…

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Rumble Strip

Cautionary sign

Cautionary sign

Here!

Let me strip naked, remove my facade,

so you can see inside of me

that I’m human

and not God

Here!

Let me wipe away my poker face

so you can peek beneath the mask

realize my barren

mundane task

Here!

Let me demonstrate how dying feels

be locked up without parole

be removed totally

life without a soul

Season with Earth

The Autumn Sky

The Autumn Sky

The colors of the Autumn breeze

dancing rainbows round naked trees

Browning of the greenest grass

brightness of the death contrasts

Orange, yellow, green, brown, red

briefly

intensely

witnessed as dead

The icy winds begin to blow

hailing

beckoning

oncoming snow

I watch in mourning staring cloudy skies

the loss of warmth from Summer’s prize.

Deep in the earth seek slumber’s redemption

Awaken in the Spring as Winter’s confession