Trusting myself to breathe

Is easier said than done

When a smooth cool hand

Embraces mine tenderly

No possession, a unity

An air of belonging

That tingles my sense of elation

Turns the volume up

In the world once void of sound

Concurrently, my focus is absorbed

With being in the moment

Alive, unfettered, freely expressing

Anticipating the next breath

With a reciprocal agreement

A bonding of lungs and air

I didn’t realize I needed

The treasure of over a century has turned to sand

Once the breath of worship in each day

Passed through the veil of eternity

Immortality granted by those who loved,

those who love, and those who accepted

her communion of intimacy

with her flesh and blood embraces

that changed hearts with the purity of devotion.

A blown kiss of “I love you”,

The tender warmth of her beloved family

wishing her continued journey of exploration

into a place not known to the living

Her legacy resounds a radiant reminder

of a profound truth in faith, love, and family

I avoid confrontations

because I’m afraid

They will leave or abandon me.

I have been taught this

with improbable diligence

I may be physically harmed

emotionally marred

or a segment of me killed

by the innate sense that I am wrong

to exist or be or live or think

or speak my truth

It’s what hurls me away from

Confrontations

It hurts my heart to watch the news.

It makes me feel very alone.

The Grief is a place I live

where the walls are papered with used tissues and broken hearts.

It’s not my favorite place,

but it functions as a place to rest

with the heaviness that the world insists I pay attention to.

It is incomprehensible that as each year passes,

life reels forward

whether regretted or not

Whether embracing joy wholeheartedly,

or rejecting neglected needs to prove an unobtrusive being,

reborn time after time as the clock hands race onward.

Each life lived scattered on the zephyr’s of sheer will

violent and fierce as those who rejected tradition

Legend divulged through personal narrative

is fiery bursts, luminous ashes, remnants of destructive lava floes

Carnage solidifying into veins of valiant courage

a raging vocalization of injustice personified

tempered by the light of love

I’m tired of mourning for strangers
Not keen on grieving my friends
Can we please stop with the sacrifices
So violence no longer trends
The flags that hang at half-mast
Are symbols of our shame
That we gave complacent permission
For murders to happen again and again
Though we take to the streets with our horror out loud
The lords of our lands style burial shrouds
Arming themselves with thoughts and prayers
Rejecting the corpses by forgetting they’re there

I have felt your heartbeat next to mine

as we embraced with warm affection

I have seen your face wet with sorrow

as we witnessed a loss together; hand in hand.

I have heard your laughter boisterously exposed

as we shared humorous stories and jokes

I have never loved you more thoroughly

than when you shared your human self with me.

You are my treasure I carry with me in my heart

You are the reason I smile when I’m alone

You are my collective spirit cavorting in this

one wild, ridiculously chaotic life.