Category Archives: poem

Stars in her eyes

Reaching for the stars

Reaching for the stars

When I awakened from the dreamless deep,

I was shocked to realize that my eyes could not see.

I had no way of finding upon which path to set my feet,

because all I’d ever done was walk around in sleep.

But then I found the very stars of which you, longing, write,

and I followed them into the sky; into the sacred night.

PTSD: A Lost Loved Cousin

I heard taps play over picnic grass graves.

It felt good to be remembered kindly for a day

No words of hate shouted, no reminders to my face

The forgiveness of sacrifice, seen in a different way.

I wanted to go like my brothers before me

I wanted to serve with my life, if necessary.

I wanted to be the hero that my father and my uncles are

I wanted to accept their mantle, to be their shining star.

But all I could say when I returned from that place

Was, “No more. I feel like such a disaster, such a disgrace.”

I lived in terror that tore me apart, shredded me inside out.

I couldn’t look in the mirror without hating my every doubt.

I couldn’t reach out for help, because who would understand?

That I didn’t even feel real, that I wasn’t even a man.

I was a soldier without a war.

I was lost in my inner storm.

Although I lost my life, not on the battle-field

My family still stood and by my graveside kneeled.

I heard taps play over picnic green grass graves.

It felt good to be remembered kindly, if even for a day.

The Banquet

Old friends are the ones who holds your secrets tightly. Old friends are the ones who holds your secrets tightly.

You have come knocking at my door with your basket empty of fruit.

You ask to break bread with me once again, I welcome you with a banquet.

Forgiveness is not necessary when there is a parting of ways with no faults

Things just happened to work out where time apart was required to isolate

Not for feeling alone, but for the seeds to take root, grow, and bloom fully

I offer the platters laden with history, telling each yarn with great verbosity

laughing together, we drink deeply, offer consolation, counsel, connection

We cut cheese (grow up!), melt it onto the bread of reminiscing

our peppered words burning our faces with our shocking youthful antics

I sit lounged in my chair, grateful that the air we share is no longer pungent

It no longer stinks of half-truths, unspoken words, and lost opportunity.

We rip shreds of the layer cake we build with our conversation,

skipping layers of icing, jumping slyly from one inside joke to the next.

We burp satisfaction, of time well spent, appreciated, and honored.

As we rise into the light of a new morning, I escort you out with welcome

for warm and happy returns at your leisure when the need is happenstance.

As I bid you adieu at my doorstep, you turn towards me, arms full of bounty.

We smile the smile of 1,000 lifetimes ago, promising 1,000 more.

Imagination gone dark

Those who want the world to stop burning must first realize that it's on fire.

Those who want the world to stop burning must first realize that it’s on fire.

Quit selling me your Jesus. Who is thick with thorns?
Don’t bleed your justification while the poor you scorn
Don’t tell me that my color is wrong, that a prison is a matter of fact
When you took away our baseball gloves and gave us baseball bats
Don’t tell me that I need to work, that I’m just a lazy bum
When you sent my job to the Philippines while calling me black scum
Don’t tell me to step up and be a father, when you took mine when I was seven
My mama couldn’t take care of me, she wept “He is watching me from heaven.”
But she believed in the Jesus you sold her that burns like a cross in my yard
She counted prayers and sang the hymns while my brothers lives are scarred
Quit telling me that I love my forty that dims the daily grind
Quit telling me I’m worthless so why should you educate my mind?
Don’t tell me that you value me just to get my vote you take away
You love me about as much as a crack baby born every day
You took away the healthcare to let my people suffer
While praising God and Jesus, filling up your coffers
You spend our money on bars and chains instead of buying books
You take away from teachers and schools, entertaining disdaining looks
Quit selling me your Jesus who is thick covered with your angry words thrown
While wearing the cross you put on your own back, you’re reaping what you’ve sewn.

Set the clock to zero

Get high in a different way than you'd expect.

Get high in a different way than you’d expect.

Set the clock to zero, forget everything you know

Remember nothing, even your name forgo

Do not look back or check your phone

Leave all gadgets at your home

Wear sturdy shoes and soft socks or boots

Pack a jug of water, nuts and dried fruits

Close up your house, cover mirrors, and lock the doors

Throw your keys away, there’s a world to explore.

No air conditioning to make your lungs thick

No constant hum of electricity keeping live the sick

Disconnect from society to find your humanity

Remember natural laws like seek shelter, find gravity

Feel the blades that you walk on give way to the leaves

Heed the chuckle of streams, find the wisdom of trees

Catch the warmth of the sun, the chill of the night

Greet the symphony with no conductor in sight

Feel the life that is living, not taken for granted

Step the rocks, conquer hills, and climb up the branches

Until you’re told by the clouds, wander near or traverse far,

But do not presume that you know who you are.

Your understanding of how the world works

Has been made up of lies, explained by idiots and jerks.

They know nothing, but you soon will

If you learn to listen to the earth’s active still.

I declare, I am

I declare I am

I declare I am

I declare by action

You can not call yourself a dreamer of dreams

Unless you first close your eyes to willingly sleep

To strip away reality that’s solid to your skin

Throwing blankets against the world’s forgetful sin

Standing not in the sands of the shores

But drowning in desires begging knowledge of more

You can not call yourself a writer of poems

Unless you first strip back the skin to know ‘em

Stripping down to muscle, blood, grinding bone

Becoming so grotesque, by default, displayed alone

Repulsing your own belief that you were enmeshed

Engaging your spirit fully until it bleeds through your flesh

You can not call yourself an artist of the arts

Until you’ve ripped shreds of everything you know, torn it apart.

Chopped off arms, legs, noses, fingers, and ears

Assembled them into a shape that disappears

Become a nothing awaiting rebirth to this plane

So you can become a God/dess of your own domain

Between the Worlds

A Snow Owl

A Snow Owl

I wander along in blues of sparkling seas

I witness a sail in the distance waving at me

I place hand over eyes in familiar stance

I wave back with my hips, a shift of my dance.

The forest closes in with a crackle of leaves

I’m not afraid, it’s welcoming me

The music turns up with bird songs and buzzies

The brook tells a joke that gives me warm fuzzies.

In a blink of an eye, my feet hit the sand

the painted desert that smells like Christmas is where I am

A solar flare singes my skin hot and prickly

but pain is small price when one lives this richly

A single leap, a precarious bound

I’m traveling highways, heeding the sound

of the zephyrs of change as they dervish round

Should I see you as I move, ever by the winds tug

You may not know my face, but you’ll know me by hug.

Storms and Kisses by Joys of Joel

Storms and Kisses – a poetry by joel f. found at www.joysofjoel.wordpress.com

A quote by Anita Krizzan inspired me to create a poetry

Why do you expect a rainbow

when you’re afraid of storms?

Did i let all my fears

stop you from being near?

Why do you expect a sunrise

when the moon didn’t say goodbye?

Do you expect it to follow

every dawning of the sky?

Then why do you want my kisses

if you only want the roses?

Because you think that all the tears

are not really worth it?

And if you say goodbye

because you hate to cry

I won’t stop you from leaving.

I hate to see you grieving.

**You can’t blame someone for leaving if you never gave them a reason to stay.

via Storms and Kisses.

The 46 and 1,600

Face Palm

Face Palm

Did you hear my brothers and sisters crying?

Why didn’t you help them when they were dying?

Why did you hand your loyalty to the master?

Why did you close your eyes so much faster?

You are saddened by the forty-six which I get,

But 1,600, abused by power, doesn’t bother you yet?

You carry a weapon, a gun to protect and serve,

I respect that, understand that it’s life you try to preserve.

I do not hate you. I do not wish that misconstrued.

I’m not even angry with you when you don your black and blue.

Did you hear your brothers and sisters crying?

Can you turn your back on unarmed humans dying?

Are you still willing to obey that Master?

Or are you awaiting orders during confrontational disasters?

I am saddened by the forty-six deaths legit,

But I’m more disturbed that 1,600 doesn’t bother you yet.

You carry a weapon, to protect your brothers in blue

I thought it was to protect civilians, people like me, too.

I respect the courage it takes to head out into the streets

Never knowing if your loved ones again you’ll ever meet.

I do not hate you. I do not wish this misconstrued.

I just wish you’d seen my human siblings, like your brothers in the blue.

Be gentle

Better than tulips!

Better than tulips!

Be gentle with me for I am but a fragile human

whose eyes may not see

the expression of your sexuality

as a sign of unsuppressed individuality

because I may be jaded or blinded by misogyny.

Be gentle with me for I am but a fragile human

whom is terrified to be

the open-hearted embracing destiny

to stake my claim on my personal history

as one not bound by mainstream society.

Be gentle with me for I am but a fragile human

whom is unafraid to be

every breadth and depth of clarity

a shining hope against disparity

standing human by human in equanimity.

Be gentle with me for I have stepped outside of me

the one they knew can no longer be

because who I am, I was born to be

I can no longer hide, I am finally free!

Be gentle with one another

treat neighbors like sisters and brothers

for as difficult as it seems

we all long to meet our dreams

so we fight the hard fight

sometimes not recognizing the hopeful light.

Be gentle of heart

but wild with your grace

May hate never play a part

in your peace or your faith

Be rich, my friend, with philanthropy

Be gentle, so very gentle, with this fragile human;

me.