I get patted on the head,

“There, there, who’s the good girl?”

Happy am I to take less care,

be less of a pest,

than the obedient dogs that sit at master’s feet

But I’m the one who pisses on the rug

“That rug really tied the room together.”

then lies about the puddle

So I’ve been shown by nosy newspapers

“This aggression will not stand, man.”