The north eastern tree
Brrrr! Yah nasty wind, ye stripped me clothes off!
Ye made me blood retreat from my trunk
Burying me roots in the frozzzzzen earth
Unlike the kiss of your wetted white,
I will return to shatter your deaf silence
With barbaric spears of buds piercing yer with renewed life
I will return!
The southern tree
Hey, ya’ll! Check this shit!
I was jist standin’ here by the sod of ‘his her road
An dis nassy smillin ting came at me bro!
Flippin me a nasty finger cut uppin der
Ya see that scar? Loss tree branches in a wind storm
The South western tree
Fuck you nestle
The north western tree
I am paramount to the indigenous people
That…HEY! Cut that…bad choice of words
STOP THAT! HEY! That’s my history! HEY!
The Midwestern tree
So ya see, I get used for maple syrup
Vermont thinks they have the major bunch,
But we’re really number one
Except for Vermont
The plains states, middle America
Come on baby! Let’s do the TWISTER!
Whoosh! Caught me a trailer home!
OH! And a car! Roll the dice, weather,
Papa needs a new pair of 18 WHEE!-lers.