Discover Mare Martell

18/03 :  Craig's List Idiots

   There are several sites that I haunt on a regular basis. Craigs Listhappens to be one of them. I am, despite my troubled relationship with my father, trying to find him a free toilet since Matthew destroyed the one in the upstairs bathroom. In my search, I visit several categories such as jobs, arts & crafts, and for sale/wanted. I've come across some doozies. Here are a couple that I've found that make no sense to me or are amusing.

I' ve always wanted one
Date: 2010-03-18, 1:28AM EDT
Reply to: -email- [Errors when replying to ads?]

KFX 700 V-FORCE ATV maybe one of these days the lord will let me have one.
I do not believe that the lord reads Craig's List, and if he did, I highly doubt He'd give one to this person.

hand guns our riffles - $300 (sweetwater)
Date: 2010-03-17, 11:48PM EDT
Reply to: -email- [Errors when replying to ads?]

hi im looking for any hand gun our riffle if you have any of these e-mail me at -email- thanks and GOD bless all
Yes, I realize I'm in the middle of the Bible belt where low literacy rates, riffles, and hand guns go hand in hand with faith in the good Jesus. Oy. The title though sounds like guns need to be handed every riffle you can find. Stop them before they shoot again.

Historic Box of Kleenex - $20 (Downtown Knoxville)
Date: 2010-02-25, 12:21AM EST
Reply to: -email- [Errors when replying to ads?]

Historic Box of store brand Kleenex for sale.
Partially used.
Survived the great Swine Flu Pandemic of 2009-2010.
Own a piece of American History purchased in preparation for a media induced hysteria that never occured.
Great conversation piece.
If an acceptable offer is not made this month, it will be used for toilet paper.
Certificate of authenticity available.

$20 or best offer.
I nominated this one for the Best of Craig's List. I thought it was cleverly written. There are spelling errors, but the trajectory of this is aimed right at my humor level.

WIC CRAP!!!!!! (all over~)
Date: 2010-03-18, 3:19AM EDT
Reply to: see below

Okay so you think its wic and these people are selling it to buy drugs? Then what are they feeding their babies??? You think they could continue to get wic to sell if their kids were starving? NOOO............ because wic is very strict about iron levels and weight gain....Also Wic will only give you good start! I know because I get it...My son has a hard time with it and does better with similac but I cant afford it so I have to give him good start and put cereal in it.(thats what the doc reccomended) Also why in the world would someone stick a needle in baby formula and sell it.? If they are that sick they could go to kroger and do the same thing??!!!! Most people that are sick enought to harm a baby like that wouldnt do it to a strange baby but one they knew?? Just get over it and mind your own business.....Its everyones own business to buy things at their own risk and as far as the selling goes...You dont know if its wic or not so stay out of it. Its not your problem. If these mothers were starving their babies the wic office could tell....Also How in the world do people have any left over I have to buy 2 cans every month because wic dont give me enough! I have never sold mine but I just dont get why these people are making such a big deal!!! Why do you automatticly think poor people stick needles in their arms and in baby formula?? You rich people must have mental issues!? (Sorry for the crappy spelling and poor typing I am very sleepy)
Wow, well I know that in this area it has become a problem where formula is sold. On the news tonight there was a 25 year old woman who stole two cans of baby formula and got caught after fleeing the grocery store. My first instinct said, "Aw man. She's so poor she had to steal formula for her babies." Then reality kicked in and my voice said, "They're stealing it to sell it so they can buy drugs. There are [b]*SRCM*[/]no people selling their babies food to do drugs. Who would ever imagine such a thing? Or tainting the product that's going to go to another baby, who ever heard of that? I do not believe that the spelling errors in this particular ad were because she was sleepy either. Perhaps she wouldn't have to buy the extra two cans if she weren't selling them to do whatever.

And the response:
RE:WIC CRAP (LENOIR CITY)
Date: 2010-03-18, 2:32AM EDT
Reply to: -email- [Errors when replying to ads?]

Amen!!! Glad someone took the time and had the balls to write this cause I started to say Parnets not feeding their kids the milk ...lol...and just where do they put them people or kids cause by golly you sure couldn't have room for the ones that these people say dont feed them..lol...people ARE crazy aren't they?..Then they wanna down the others {Poor} Bastards should have to be poor once in their life do without and see themselves Not everyone born with a sliver spoon but we all {the poor} have more respect and love to offer our kids family etc...God Bless you whom ever you are that wrote this! all we can do is pray that these judging but and greedy but people live it just once!!!!!
Although technically the words are spelled correctly, the usage isn't anywhere near what it should be. The lack of punctuation is astounding. I may not be perfect, but I do realize that run-on sentences are confusing and irritating to the reader. I particularly like Parnets. I'm also rather fond of the sliver spoons and the redundancy of the poor. Also the stereotypes that the poor love their children more than the people born with the sliver spoons is ridiculous. They fail to realize that their blanket statement is both prejudiced and misinformed, dare I say it, ignorant. Limited means lends to limited views would be my assumption.